Halfbreed
by Callay1981
Summary: Takes place after Breaking Dawn; Renesmee has a terrible accident at school and is confronted with the reality that she is not a normal teenager and is having to face the same demons her father has spent his entire existence struggling with.
1. Chapter 1

_These are not my characters, in no way do I own the Twilight series, but I do admire it and am thankful for it._

_This can't be happening, _I thought to myself, _this is not happening to me. I'm just a kid, my family is good, this is not who I am, this simply is just not happening. _These are the things that I kept telling myself during the ride home, to keep me in one piece, but I knew very well that this_ was_ happening to me.

I burst into the main house, tears still streaming down my hot face, "Dad? Dad!" I called frantically for him, sailing through the foyer into the living room. Rosalie appeared instantaneously.

"Renessmee," she called rushing to my side and throwing her arms around me. Her touch gave me only a fraction of the comfort and kind words that I needed right now. I collapsed into her arms, "What is it?" She murmured soothingly into my hair.

"I need to speak to my father, now." I said pressing my face against her hard shoulder.

"He's not here, what's the matter?" She asked her tone sweet and gentle.

I loved my aunt, but I didn't want to talk about this with her. I wanted my father, I needed him. She pulled away from me and looked me over, aside from the tears, I didn't think I looked any different, but the expression that crossed her face as she stared at me told otherwise. A look of horror, then fury filled her lovely features and without warning, she slapped me across the face. Her pale hand moved so quickly, so gracefully, that I didn't even see it coming. The only remnant that I had that proved she had actually done it was the venomous sting it left behind on my flushed cheek.

I cried out loud and stared at her in surprise, fearful to do anything else.

"What did you do?" She hissed angrily. Her voice was icy and terrifying. I couldn't say anything, I felt betrayed.

"Rosalie!" A familiar voice snarled from the far end of the house. I looked up and saw my father striding across the room at me, youthful, but authoritative and demanding of presence.

My face burned where she had hit me, within moments he was by my side, placing his cool hands on either side of my face to calm me down. His amber eyes were practically glowing as they stared at me, wide with concern. He too, saw something on my face that wasn't there before, but his reaction was not nearly as severe as Rose's.

"Are you alright?" He asked his voice as sweet and composed as an angel. _No, dad, I'm not alright, I'm falling apart, I'll never be alright ever again, _was what I wanted to say.

"I'm okay," I whispered stoically, nodding my head.

"Go upstairs," he ordered calmly, lowering his hands from me. I nodded my head again and slunk away.

Even though he told me to go, I crouched against the wall at the top of the stairs and hid myself so I could eavesdrop on what was about to go down between him and my aunt.

"What the hell is the matter with you? She's just a child." He snapped at her, his voice tight and clenched, I knew this tone, my dad was about to lose it.

"I could have done worse," she said coldly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"With parenting skills like that I'm relieved that you didn't live long enough to reproduce." He growled, trying to steady his voice. His hands were balled in fists at his sides.

She seemed to be able to ignore his comment, "Edward, you know what this means as well as I do. This is your entire fault; she should have never been allowed to go to school with the others. She's erratic, she's an adolescent human with superhuman powers and urges. I knew this was going to happen." My heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces as I listened to my aunt's treachery. I thought she loved me, I loved her.

I saw my father glance over at the staircase, he knew I was listening. He grabbed Rosalie by the forearm, so tightly that it would have left bruises if she were a regular person, and walked her toward the dining room. "Keep your voice down, she can hear you."

"I don't care Edward." She spat, yanking her arm away from him.

"She's not as hard and callous as you Rosalie, she has feelings and for some unknown reason she loves you dearly. I would suggest shutting your mouth before you say something you regret, because if you say anything that upsets my daughter, I swear I'll kill you."

That was enough, I couldn't listen any more, I needed to speak to him, I needed his support and kind words, and I needed to hear his voice when it wasn't laced with tension and anger. I'm sure there would be plenty of time for that. Fresh tears started to fall again and my shoulders began to tremble. I stood and perched at the top of the stairs, "Dad!" I called, he turned and faced me, "Dad, please!" My voice cracked and I began to cry again.

"I'll deal with you later," I heard him warn Rosalie. Within seconds he had mounted the massive staircase and was in front of me. He put his arm around my shoulders and I dropped my head against him, grabbing his sleeve tightly. "Come on," he said gently, letting me wipe my face all over his clean shirt.

We walked down the hallway to his old bedroom and I sat down on the leather couch hugging my knees into my chest. He sat down on the table in front of me and handed me a box of Kleenex that seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Parents were good at things like that, even vampire parents.

"Renessmee," he said very solemnly, sitting on the low table in front of me, "what happened?"

"I…I killed a boy at school today," I whispered in a barely audible voice.

He cleared his throat nervously and let his face drop into his pale hands, "I was afraid of that." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Dad…I'm sorry…I don't know what to do. I," painful sobs began to rattle from my chest, "I'd never felt that way before, I followed him, I tricked him, and then I," the words tasted like bile in my mouth, "I killed him." My father watched me silently; I wanted him to yell or discipline me or tell me how disappointed he was in me. But, he didn't, he never did, his patience and reverence was extraordinary. I started to get hysterical again, "the smell coming off him, it was like I wasn't me anymore, I was something else, and I just…"

"Renessmee, Renessmee, stop." He interceded, putting a hand up. I dropped my face into my knees and cried so hard that I thought I was going to gag myself. He was beside me in an instant, holding me. I clawed my way into his lap, which must have looked absolutely ridiculous because we were both nearly the same size now, and I was curling up against him like an infant.

"Why did this happen?" I whispered.

"It happens to all of us eventually," he said very slowly, furrowing his brow in concentration. "I was hoping you wouldn't have to go through it since you're part human, but, unfortunately, you're more like me than your mother in this department." He said stroking my shoulder.

"Have you ever killed someone?" I asked, looking up at him timidly. He seemed to deliberate on his response a bit and I immediately knew what the answer was. I didn't care, in my eyes, both of my parents were God almighty and could do no wrong.

"Yes," he said quietly, looking back at me sincerely. His gaze was timid and expectant, like_ he_ had disappointed _me_, how far that was from the truth.

"Has mom?"

A serene smile crossed his face at the mention of her, "your mother has never tasted human blood, not in this life at least." He replied proudly.

"Why is this happening?" I asked again. "Is it going to happen again?"

"I can't say. That has to be a decision you make for yourself."

I rose slowly from the couch and faced him. I couldn't believe what my father had just said, as if I would ever choose to hurt someone? Who would do that, who would decide that that was the path that was right for them?

"I took someone's life." I stated, anger rising. "I took him away from his future, his family," I went on, my voice taking on the sharp edge that my mother's would sometimes get when she was upset. "I took everything from him, just so I could have what I wanted and now, it's over, five minutes of pleasure in exchange for a lifetime lost. What am I going to do?"

"You're going to have to forgive yourself and use this experience as a tool to better yourself." My father said evenly, looking up at me.

"I'm a monster." I whispered, looking away.

"No you're not." He said firmly, standing. He took my chin and made me face him, "you must never say such a thing. You are a good person who made a terrible mistake. You can control this, you can overcome it and you will because it's what you want to do. You come from two very stubborn and determined bloodlines and you can do this."

"How do you know?"

"Because I could do it and you are ten times the person that I am." He suddenly looked very tired, the intensity that was in his golden eyes moments ago had flickered out. "I know this is very difficult for you Renessmee, and I'm sorry that your life has turned out this way."

"Dad, don't…"

"Your mother almost ended up like that boy the first time I saw her." He said shamefully looking away from me.

"I thought you two loved each other."

"Renessmee, to this day I have never met, and will never meet another person that can make me feel the way I do about your mother." He said tenderly." But at first, I wanted her blood. Her scent was… the second she entered the building I could smell her and it consumed me." His words became more frenzied as he began to pace around the room. "I thought of how I could get her alone, I thought of following her home, killing your grandfather if he walked in, killing anyone who got in my way. I hadn't taken a human life in decades, and all of the sudden I was determined to have a mass slaughter of anyone who came between me and my urges." He paused and smiled sadly at me, "so you see, I know exactly how you felt today when that boy walked in."

"I had never felt like that before, ever." I said fearfully, "I lost all sense of reason. Rose hates me now."

"Rose is irrelevant, she adores you, she practically raised you the first weeks of your birth, you're like her own. But, Rose is also very selfish and fearful. When something happens, it's catastrophic to her and she looks out for number one. She can't help it, but it doesn't make it right. I'll take care of Rose, don't worry about that, she's the least of your problems." He assured me.

"How did she know?"

A fearful look flashed across my father's young face. He sighed and stood up, "come with me."

I stood and followed him down the hall and into the bathroom; he clicked on the light and positioned me in front of the mirror. I looked at myself hesitantly, nothing seemed different, and then I saw it. My eyes had changed color; they had gone from a warm, pleasant brown to a harsh frightening crimson color. My father stood behind me in the mirror, his eyes were amber and pleasant, warm and intriguing, nothing like the monstrous bloody color that stood in mine.

I let out a quiet gasp and touched my face "why do they look like that?"

"It's what happens to us when we consume human blood." He said softly, as if his words would shatter me if they were uttered too loudly.

I stared at my face, horrified. I looked closely, in search of some remnant of the warm chocolate brown color that was indicative of me. I couldn't find any trace of it; now all that remained was the horrifying crimson color. I felt like I looked nothing like myself. Tears rolled down my face and my father settled his hands gingerly on my shoulders in a gesture of comfort. I whirled around and shouted at him, "I can't go back to school looking like this!"

My father opened his mouth to speak, and then hesitated, "Renessmee, I don't think you can go back to school." He said carefully, drawing out the words.

Okay, this was okay, he was right, maybe I needed to lay low for a few days, a few days until the quirks had been worked out and my eyes changed back. When the thick, sweet metallic blood of that student had left my system and I was normal again. That was understandable. "When can I go back?" I whispered, knowing what the real answer would be.

His eyes darted from side to side and for a moment he looked like an awkward teenager rather than the stoic, confident rock of a man that I had grown accustomed to. "I don't think you'll be returning to Forks High ever," he murmured. I could tell that it hurt him to say it.

It hurt him to say it, but that didn't make it any easier to hear. "But dad, I have friends there and classes, and I like it there! I feel like a _normal _kid when I'm at school!"

He winced when I said the word, 'normal' and I watched as the pain spread across his beautiful face.

"I'm sorry love, but we're going to have to leave."

The final blow, I thought to myself, my chest began to hurt and constrict, like he had just punched a hole through it, leaving nothing but tattered edges. "What about Jacob?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Jacob can't come with us."

"Why not? He's part of our family too! I know he'd come, he wouldn't let me leave without him!"

"Renessmee, Jacob has responsibilities he has to attend to here, he can't leave La Push." What was he saying? What did he mean Jacob had responsibilities to attend to here? Jacob didn't seem much older than I was. He didn't have a house, or a career or anything like that, what responsibilities did Jacob have? I was confused and frightened. Tears had not stopped rolling down my face since I had looked in the mirror and now I could feel the sobs and gasps creeping their way back up my throat again.

I felt like I was going to get sick, "No, no we can't leave," I said shaking my head frantically. "I can't leave him, he's my best friend dad…I can't, we're…" I _was_ going to get sick. "Get out!" I screeched at him, "leave me alone!" I rushed toward the toilet; my poor father looked lost, like he wanted to help me but didn't know where to begin. His brow furrowed in confusion and a look of angst hung in his eyes. I leaned over the toilet, unable to hold it in any longer. My stomach lurched and my throat tightened, bloody vomit spewed from my mouth, sharp and tinny. He hurried over to me, dropping to his knees behind me, prepared to pull back my hair or rub my back or something of the like. Teenagers tend to not take kindly to babying at this age and he was suddenly making me furious. "Don't!" I hissed. He froze where he was.

I leaned my arms against the seat and laid a hot, tear stained cheek on top of the soft fabric of my sweatshirt. "Please just go away," I whispered between tears.

My father said nothing and stood slowly at human pace behind me. He backed up and although I didn't turn to look at him, I could feel his eyes on me, trying to anticipate what would happen next. I think I had frightened him a little and immediately felt guilty. He pulled a hand towel off one of the racks and dropped it cautiously beside me and I heard him swallow hard as he turned and left the room. As the door closed behind him, fresh tears welled up in my eyes and I spat another mouthful of blood into the toilet.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm glad people are enjoying it. I'm having a lot of fun writing it and hope you'll continue to read and review, thanks again for the support!

Chapter Two

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom; it had to have been at least an hour. I managed to calm my stomach and my nerves long enough so that I was able to stop vomiting and sit against the wall. I hugged my knees into my chest and started to take deep breaths. I wondered if vampires or half vampires could have panic attacks. If so, I would be deeply shocked if my poor father wasn't having one right now. I rocked to my side and lay down on the floor pressing my flaming hot cheek against the cool granite still hugging my knees. I listened closely to see if I could hear what was going on around the house.

My senses had never been as heightened as the rest of the family's were, but they were exceptional in comparison to a full human's. I listened hard and finally heard something break the deafening silence. My father was on the phone, he was talking to my mother.

"Bella, I know you're out with Alice, but I need you to come home now. It's of the utmost importance. Yes love, I'm aware of that, but this is…somewhat urgent. No, calm down, everyone's fine, Bella, Bella, Bella…" I smiled weakly as I listened to the tempo of his serene voice become more rapid as he tried to interrupt my mother. "Bella, love, seriously, just come home please, you and Alice, we need to discuss something. Aright, okay, yes, I love you too." I heard him snap his phone shut and his lithe footsteps down the hallway. He was standing outside of the door now.

"Renessmee," he called gently, tapping lightly on the door.

I picked myself up off the floor and headed to the door. I smoothed my hair back and took a breath; it was a very real possibility that if I saw his concerned face now I may start blubbering all over him again. I turned the doorknob and slowly creaked it open. He had changed his shirt that I had snotted all over earlier and stood there in a thermal Henley with an uncomfortable look on his face.

He swallowed hard and averted his eyes to the floor, I was a mess, "Um, I just spoke to your mother, she and Alice are on their way home, Jasper and Emmett will be back shortly as well, we, we're going to have to talk when everyone arrives, okay?"

"What about Rosalie?" I asked meekly. The mere mention of my aunt's name seemed to snap him back into his authoritative, confident parental role.

"Don't worry about Rose, I've already said my piece to her, she won't be giving you any grief. She knows better." He said sharply, locking his eyes protectively with mine.

"Okay Dad, sure, sure." I answered casually, mimicking Jacob's mannerisms as I thought about him.

"Why don't you get cleaned up, maybe change those sneakers, this is going to be stressful enough…" he started, gesturing at my blood spattered Puma.

I looked down, unaware they were even the slightest bit dirty, I let out a little gasp, "I'll have to burn those, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he said smiling crookedly at me, "we'll get you another pair."

I nodded, "I'm going to go home and take a shower." I said pointing a thumb to the back of the house.

He nodded politely, "take your time, we'll be here when you're done."

I don't know what I expected the shower to do for me. For some reason, I thought that I would feel absolved once I had shampooed and body washed myself, but that didn't happen. Of course it didn't, did I think it would shake me out of some nightmare that I was having? I wasn't sure, but I took the longest shower on the face of the planet just to be certain. No, it didn't help at all, I thought bitterly to myself as I pulled a comb through my wet, snarled hair. Why was I even trying to groom myself? I didn't feel pretty, I didn't deserve pretty right now, and my blazing red eyes just confirmed that even further. I threw the comb across the bathroom; the impact of it hitting the wall left a crack. My grandmother would not be happy about that. I stormed down the hallway to my bedroom and threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a black hooded yoga top and my Mary Jane's. Time to face the music, I thought as I turned off my bedroom light and walked back to the main house.

When I arrived, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose were in the dining room, taking their seats at the massive mahogany table. Carlisle and Esme, my grandparents, unfortunately were away for the time, which left my father, being that he was the oldest, in charge of things for now. He and my mother were missing, then I saw them; they were in the doorway of the study, my father was murmuring something to her that only she could hear and rubbing her shoulders vigorously, she looked distraught.

I tried to ignore the two of them and loped into the dining room slumping into the chair next to Jasper. He immediately took my hand in his and said nothing. Waves of calm circled around me and I seriously considered asking him to hold my hand for an undetermined amount of time.

My parents finally entered the dining room, my father taking a seat at the head of the table, my mother hurried over to me and brushed my hair out of my face, "are you alright? Are you hurt?" She asked me intensely.

"Yeah mom, I'm okay." I said calmly to ease her mind. I waited for her to gasp or wince when she caught a glimpse of my eyes, but she didn't, she just looked at me lovingly and kissed my forehead before taking her seat beside me.

It was very quiet in the dining room for a moment, nobody knew what to say, I was sure everyone knew what had happened at this point and I wanted to crawl under the table and die.

My father spoke first, I hoped it would be something thought provoking and articulate, but instead, he just threw me under the bus. "Renessmee has something to discuss with us," he started.

"Edward," my mother hissed at him as a look of surprise came over me.

"What, no, Bella, I'm not, I'm not trying to make her feel bad…I just, she knows what happened…."

"Dad," I whispered tightly.

"Renessmee, nothing you say or do is ever going to change the way any of us feel about you, we're your family and we love you." He assured me, "We just, need to know, exactly what happened today so that we can deal with it appropriately. Nobody is going to think badly of you, ever, but you need to tell us…"

"Renessmee, what happened today at school?" My mother asked me delicately, her golden eyes boring a hole through me.

"Okay, I, um," I started cautiously, trying to maintain some kind of evenness in my tone. "I went to school today, and this boy was there. He's new I think, because I've never seen him before. He's about my age, respectively." I could remember everything about him vividly, but now was not the time for me to share with my entire family the way he made me feel. Now was the time for the facts only, I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell anyone about the way he made me feel, it would be too horrifying. "He was, in my Algebra class, it was the last class of the day, and I just, I couldn't get him out of my mind. He missed his bus, well, I sort of made him miss his bus. I kind of slowed him down in the hallway, so that he didn't get out to the parking lot in time. So once the parking lot had cleared out and there was no one around, he was still waiting for a ride, so I offered to give him one, you know, to make amends for making him late. He was very nice and told me I didn't have to do that, but I insisted. So he got in the car with me." I babbled, playing with the cuffs of my shirt the entire time.

The whole plan sounded so diabolical and menacing as I listened to myself explain it, it was disgusting and well planned and that frightened me. My entire family listened openly as I went on with my ghoulish tale, all of them concerned, but reserved. Even my mother's expression was serene and accepting, however, every so often, I caught my father's expression falter into a mask of pain and worry.

"Anyways, we were driving along and I couldn't take it anymore, we drove by a wooded area and I acted like I had just seen a stray dog run into the woods and insisted on stopping to make sure it was okay. He went along with it, because, why not? I was just some girl, what harm could I do to him? Why would I ever be seen as a threat? So, he followed me into the woods and that's when I killed him."

"Did anybody see you with him?" My father asked.

"No, I don't think so; I didn't even talk to him in algebra."

"Was there anybody in the woods other than you two?" Alice asked.

"Not that I know of."

My father took a deep breath and raised his eyes up to me, "Renessmee, where is the body? "

"In my car." I said sadly, my voice starting to tremble.

My father rubbed the side of his face, and placing his chin in his palm asked me tiredly, "Are you sure he's dead?"

"Yes." I whispered. "I checked, he's dead."

"So now what are we supposed to do about this?" Rosalie asked irritably. I was really not a fan of my aunt today, my father and I simultaneously threw her a contemptuous glare, we were nearly identical to each other at that moment.

"Alice, do you see anything?" My father asked looking to his right.

"No, I see nothing, everything's dark. I have no idea what's going to happen. I'm sorry."

"It's alright Alice, there's nothing to apologize for," my mother reassured her.

There was silence between all of us; even Emmett was speechless, which was unheard of. I looked around the table at my family, it was a ridiculous concept really, the seven of us. Everyone looked the same age; I looked like some junior in high school hanging around with my classmates. They even dressed like me, I looked like I was surrounded by a pack of teenagers, my mother looked young enough to be my sister. Yet, here they were, a group of beings that together had almost a thousand years of life experience, and still, they didn't know what to do with me, with my mistake. I wished Carlisle were here, my father didn't seem to be any good at this head of the family thing.

"We need to wait until Carlisle and Esme get back to make a final decision," my father finally said. "Are they coming home soon Alice?"

"That I do know," she beamed, as if pleased she could be helpful. "They'll be back on Thursday, late morning I think…"

"That gives us three days to come up with something. Until then, you're staying home from school," my father stated glancing over at me.

"Dad…" I exclaimed jumping out of my seat, finally feeling some emotion other than sadness and disappointment. "I have a major Physics test on Wednesday, I've been studying for it for weeks, aaaannnd, I have to turn in my research paper on Impressionism on Thursday, I can't…."

"Renessmee, Please," he said putting up a hand up to silence me. I hated when he did that, it was so condescending, I felt my temper starting to flare up and saw Emmett smirk a little.

"Don't put your hand in my face _Edward_, you know I'm right…" I argued sharply, he narrowed his eyes at me in frustration. Emmett began to chuckle softly to himself and I saw Alice join in on the smirking. I probably shouldn't have said that, I thought to myself.

"Renessmee Carly Cullen, if you think for one minute that I'm…." my father started.

"Edward, don't you think it's better if she goes to school?" My mother interceded, "I mean, am I the only one who thinks it will look a little suspicious if that boy doesn't come back to school and then neither does she?" She asked a little sarcastically.

"Bella's right." Alice agreed.

"Well of course she is." My father muttered crossing his arms over his chest.

"Edward, we're all trying to make sense of this." Alice gently put a hand on his arm and he childishly snatched it away and glared at her.

"Hey," my mother called to him, he snapped his head in her direction and his expression softened slightly. "Don't get mad at Alice, she's just stating her opinion. I'm not trying to make little of this," she turned her head at me and raised a stern eyebrow, "and I'm certainly not condoning your attitude toward your father," I slumped back down into my chair. "But, I think we need to all calm down and keep things as normal and routine around here as possible. This means, Renessmee needs to go to school and follow curfew, Alice needs to go to work, Edward and I need to go to class, and the rest of you need to do whatever it is you do all day."

A wide grin crossed Alice's face as she nodded in agreement, her short spiky hair bobbing at her new found enthusiasm.

"Bella's right." My father agreed, he threw a sideward glance to Alice and asked gruffly, "happy?" She giggled her silvery laugh in response.

"At least until Carlisle and Esme return, we need to maintain our daily routine, but when they do come back, and I know none of you want to hear this, we may have to seriously consider moving. Bella, Renessmee, and I can leave and the rest of you can stay, but this may be inevitable for us." He looked over at me sincerely and I opened my mouth to protest. "I'm sorry love, I know you like it here, but your mother and I have to do what we feel is best for you."

I knew it was difficult for him to suggest, to even fathom because he knew, they both knew how much I loved Forks, and Jacob and my grandfather Charlie and the rest of the family. But they were afraid for me. I could see it on both of my parent's faces. I wouldn't cause them anymore heartache, I would take it upon myself and somehow get over it, I had to. I stared back at him and looked at the rest of my teenage family and nodded slowly.

"Okay then," my father continued nervously, "Jasper, Emmett, follow me to Renessmee's car, Alice, Rose, take Ness out and get her some contacts."

With that, everyone started to get up from the table and file to their separate jobs, as they exited, Emmett walked by me and punched me in the shoulder, "keep your chin up kid, we'll take care of everything," he said cheerfully, winking at me.

"Thanks Em." I said easily, smiling a little.

I walked alongside my mother back to our little house. We were nearly halfway there when I tripped on a tree root. Before I could stumble far enough forward to land on my face my mom threw her strong, thin arm in front of my chest to support me.

"I still trip on that one too when it's really dark." She said dryly.

"How is that possible?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Even this immortality thing can't rid me of my klutziness. It's like a disease, a disease that I've passed onto you I see." She smirked.

"Yeah, thanks for that by the way." I said sarcastically.

She laughed softly and put a hand through her long mahogany hair. I felt like I made my mom and dad nervous, anxious even, but I think it was just because that's how they were in general and that becoming parents had thrown them for a major loop. It seemed like they still didn't know how to respond to me all the time, but yet, I knew they loved me. I always felt loved and validated by them, that they would do anything for me, and they would do it because they wanted to, not because they had to.

"Renessmee, nothing is set in stone you know, your father and I still need to discuss a few things. What's bothering you the most about this whole thing, I mean, other than that boy of course, what's upsetting you the most?"

"I can live with moving, I can live with going to a new school, but I don't want to leave Charl…grandpa, and Jacob, I don't think I could live without him. He's like, my sanity."

My mother rolled her eyes and smiled, "well, Charlie is family, and even though we may not see him as much as we usually do, you'll still get to see him a lot even if we move. And as far as Jacob, he's welcome to come with us."

"But dad said that Jacob can't leave Forks, ever, he said he 'has responsibilities here'" I explained, mimicking my father's voice and making quotation marks with my fingers.

She snorted and shook her head as she went to unlock the front door to the house. "He would say that," She said hanging her keys up and tossing her sweatshirt on the couch. I followed close behind her, barely paying attention, when she stopped and turned to look at me. She threw her hands up slightly and let them clap back down against her legs in exasperation.

"Renessmee, believe me when I tell you that as long as you want him with you, there is nothing on this planet, not even Edward, that can separate Jacob Black from you ever. He'd follow you to the end of the Earth if you asked him, regardless of responsibilities, or ties with people or any of that, he'd go anywhere with you, I can promise you that." She turned and walked toward her bedroom.

"Why?" I asked, "I mean, I know we're friends and I think he kind of has a thing for me, but, dropping everything and moving, that's some crush mom, I gotta say." I said, following behind her. There was a huge pile of laundry on the bed she began to fold as she listened to me.

"Ask him sometime, he'll tell you how he really feels about you, you may be surprised." She said coyly, sounding more like a girlfriend than a parent.

"Yeah, I suppose." I shrugged, picking up a towel and folding it for her. We were quiet for several minutes; I helped her with the remainder of the laundry and started loading it into the basket when she suddenly spoke.

"Renessmee, I told you that your father and I had to talk about a few things before making a decision, but it is a very real possibility that we may have to move." She said solemnly.

"Yeah, I know it is." I answered quietly, my voice cracking.

"But with that in mind, I want to let you know something;" she stopped and placed her cool hands on my small shoulders and rubbed them soothingly. "Everything we go through in life happens for a reason, this tragedy could turn into a very good thing. Moving may actually be a positive thing."

"Okay mom." I agreed, "I'll do what I can with that, thanks."

And with that, there was a knock at our front door. It was Alice and Rosalie, dropping off my new pair of perfectly tinted and fitted chocolate brown colored contacts.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Chapter Three

I sat in my bed, cross legged trying to focus on some homework. I had already finished my paper that was due in a few days, and all of my regular, daily homework was done, so I was now trying to get in a little more study time for my Physics test. I hated Physics, and anything involving math. My mind didn't seem to quite work that way, even though I usually was a very rational, logical person.

I glanced over at the clock, it was near approaching eight thirty and my dad wasn't home yet. I cringed at the thought of him and my uncles disposing of the body of the teenage boy that was curled up in the trunk of my Xterrra. I shuddered and went back to trying to busy my mind with equations and theories. I figured I would study until nine and then start winding it down for the evening. I doubted however, that I would get much sleep that night.

I heard the front door open and my father greet my mother. Their evening was just starting while mine was coming to a close. Within moments, I heard him knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I said softly.

The door slowly opened and he took a few steps forward, lingering in the doorway.

"Hi dad," I said smiling weakly.

"Hi love, how are you feeling?"

"Feel a lot better if I didn't have this stupid test coming up this week." I complained snapping the book shut.

He chuckled softly, crossing his pale arms across his chest, "It wasn't your mother's strongest subject either, but she would never let me help her. She said I was condescending whenever I tried to teach her to do anything."

"I can buy that." I agreed.

He gave a short, warm laugh and let his head drop back as he leaned against the doorframe. The back of his head made a heavy clunking sound as it hit the wood and I noticed for the first time that he had dirt and grime on his face and clothes.

"Soo, what happened with, with, all of that?" I asked uncomfortably, gesturing at his mud caked shoes.

"We took care of the body, if that's what you're asking. Jasper and Emmett are finishing up and then they're taking your car to be detailed."

"What, what happened?" I asked cautiously.

"We made it look like an animal attack. We should be safe, for now."

I nodded my head slowly, automatically, almost like I was in a trance. My father turned his head and stared at my face. Within a few strides he was beside me examining my eyes.

"I see your aunts came through with the contacts."

"Yeah, I guess," I replied, locking glances with him.

"How do they feel?" he asked, tilting my chin gently, "they look good."

"Thanks, they kind of itch a little," I answered, averting my eyes to my lap.

"That will pass in time, you should probably take them out before you go to bed, give your eyes a rest."

"Okay."

"Your mother and I will likely be going out sometime tonight, so if you need anything and we're not here, just call one of us and we'll come home." He said, placing a hand on my leg.

"Sure Dad,"

"Okay, then, don't stay up too late," he said casually, rising to his feet in the blink of an eye.

I rolled my eyes at him, "I won't."

Shortly after he had exited, I decided to call it a night and go to bed. I ambled down the short hallway to the tiny bathroom that I was the primary inhabitor of and washed my face and brushed my teeth. They were in their bedroom for the moment with the door shut, and like I always did, I gave two raps on the door and called out 'goodnight' and headed back to my bedroom. I crawled into my pajamas and clicked off the light and set my alarm.

As predicted, I was having trouble falling asleep. I kept thinking about the stresses of the entire day and how twenty four hours ago I had been a normal kid, well, semi normal, we all knew that I would never be normal and I was okay with that. But now, even semi normal was out of the question, now I was a murderer, and my entire family was an accomplice. I wanted to call Jacob, I wanted to _see _Jacob, somehow, he would find some kind of intricate way of cheering me up that nobody else could unlock. That's just how he was; my mother described him once as her personal sun. If he was her sun, then Jacob Black was my universe, but I would never tell him that, especially not after today.

I sighed deeply and felt like I was about to get weepy again, but this time it wasn't because of that boy, it was because of Jacob, because it hurt my heart to even think about being separated from him. My mother had said that she and my father still had to discuss a few things, but then my father's words returned to me; _'we should be safe, for now.' _Who was I kidding? We were so moving, and Jacob was not coming with us, how could he? I would never ask him to do such a thing.

I angrily flipped over on my side and clung to one of the pillows. I wanted to scream into it, bite it, throw it across the room in frustration and despair, but all I could do was cling to it childishly, weakly. What was wrong with me? I was sure every teenage girl didn't go through this many mood swings in a day, or did they? Maybe I was more normal than I gave myself credit for. No, normal girls don't kill people. Normal girls talk back to their parents, yes, have crushes and absurdly romantic thoughts yes, hate Physics yes, but normal girls don't kill teenage boys and drink their blood. No, normal girls don't do that.

I was beginning to get myself upset again, I needed to refocus. I decided to make my second mistake of the day and eavesdrop on the discussion my parents were having in the other room.

Most of the time I was able to tune out people. It was fairly easy enough, but if I listened, really listened, my hearing was such that I could hear other people's conversations as clearly as if they were speaking directly to me. I can't hear thoughts or anything, but I have what I like to call supersonic hearing. I can also see pretty well in the dark and further distances than most humans, and have an ultra sensitive sense of smell. I liked _those_ things about myself, those things were actually very helpful at times, and enjoyable sometimes too.

I became very still and concentrated on the sounds of the house around me. I had the window slightly open and I could hear the terrestrial hum of insects and peeper frogs outside. I heard the little house groan as it settled into the foundation as the incoming cold of the night pressed down upon it. I heard music, low and steady in the living room, but that was nothing new, ever since I was a baby my parents always had a CD or the radio on, it used to help me sleep. Then I heard them, they were being very careful to keep their voices quiet, their tones hushed so as not to disturb me. I don't think they realize how attuned my hearing really is.

"What happened with the boy?" My mother asked.

"We made it look like an animal attack. We left him in the woods back behind the school, far enough in so that the students wouldn't find him but close enough so that the police wouldn't be searching for days. Luckily, Emmett tracked a small bear out there recently, so I'm fairly confident that the story will check out."

"Are you sure this is going to work out?"

"Ninety five percent sure. It's in our favor that nobody saw Renessmee with him at any point in the day."

"Edward," my mother said hesitantly, "if you're so sure that this is going to work out, why are you so insistent on moving? It's really making her unhappy. I think at this point she's more upset about possibly having to leave than the attack."

"Bella, you know the last thing I want to do is upset her, especially now, but considering the circumstances, leaving may be the best option."

"I disagree." My mother argued, I heard my father sigh and get up. I could picture him now, rolling his eyes and pacing around the room like a caged animal like he always did when someone disagreed with him. "Seriously Edward, what's to gain from this? She's already self conscious about herself, she has friends and family out here, and she likes going to school, and Jacob…all of those things are probably the only things that are keeping her sane right now and you're insistent that she give them all up, tell me, what's to gain from that?" She asked, her voice rising in irritation.

"Bella, I know all of that, you think I'm not aware of all that? Give me a little credit please. But, if this doesn't work, things could get much, much worse for her and the rest of us. Think about it, I mean, Charlie's the chief of police for cripes sake, what do you think it will do to him if he finds out the truth? He'll have to arrest his own granddaughter, his reputation will be ruined, we'll all be questioned, Bella, do you realize we are all accomplices at this point? I don't think you understand the severity of this."

"I am perfectly aware of the severity of this, but I am not convinced that this is how it's all going to pan out."

"That's because you haven't seen it happen before."

"And you have no idea what it's like to be a seventeen year old girl and have your entire life uprooted right before you." My mother challenged defiantly.

"I don't think the uprooting of your life was such a bad thing." He answered calmly.

"Well, no, not at the end of it all, but in the beginning, it sucks."

"You seemed to have adjusted well."

"This is not about me. This is about Renessmee, _our_ daughter, and I don't think it's healthy for her to be away from Charlie, and Jacob and her friends right now. She needs to be around _humans_ Edward, not just the eight of us." My mother snapped sharply. "She needs to be around people who eat, and drink and sleep and cry and deal with everyday problems and she needs them to be familiar to her. She can't just open up to any old stranger she meets in whatever Godforsaken place you plan on whisking her away to."

"I know that." He replied tensely. "That's not my intention at all; you are reading way too much into this."

"Am I?"

My mother was the youngest vampire among my family; she had only been immortal for about eight years now. She was still very human. That sounds crass, they were all very human, very in touch with that side of them, but my mother was even more so.

Very rarely did she use any of her superhuman gifts such as speed, or strength, or grace to do things. She never did things quickly; she always took the time to walk across a room, where as my father would move so quickly that he would often just suddenly appear somewhere. She would never flaunt any of her abilities, where as Emmett and Jasper would almost make spectacles of themselves at home. Rosalie and Alice were stealthy and surefooted; my mother would clomp around the house and trip over things. She was so human that every morning my father would bring her a cup of coffee just so she could hold it and smell it. Every so often, when she was feeling anxious or upset about something, she'd sneak a sip or two and end up getting sick later, but she didn't care. Isabella Swan was the anti-vampire, the only reason she wanted to be turned was so that her and my father could be together forever, not for all the other cool stuff that came along with the territory. I admired her to no end.

There was a pause between them, and I thought I knew what was happening. My father probably just caught wind of the fact that I was listening in on their conversation because now I was thinking too hard about what they were saying to one another and he could hear me.

"We should probably take this outside now." He suggested absently, his voice still tense.

If my mother was the anti vampire, then my father was the opposite. He used every dark trick he was ever given to the max to do two things and two things only; protect and love. He did everything in his power to protect everyone he loved from anything bad or unpleasant in the world. His mission in life in his mind was to find the problem and make it better. He really was an exceptional person with an exceptional amount of generosity and love. He would use his ability to hear people's thoughts at the drop of a hat to forewarn him of any pending danger or any ill feelings they were having. He would use his strength to fight off anyone who tried to harm any of us and his speed to get to us quickly if we needed help or comfort. He would also use his speed for recreational purposes, where as my mother would simply just play with me or teach me how to cook something. He used his innate ability to pick up things quickly to teach me and to set the example that there was always more to learn and appreciate.

I listened to the two of them leaving, my mother's footsteps even and solid, and my father's fluid and nearly soundless as they headed into the night. Together they were a powerful team and both essential parts of me. I couldn't do this to them, I wouldn't cause them to fight, to leave their home, not after all they had been through together, not after all they had done for me. I couldn't stay, but they could, they had done nothing wrong, I was the one who had caused all this trouble.

I was still lying on my side; I clutched the pillow so tightly that it was starting to rip. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I came to the realization of what needed to be done. I had to run away. I didn't know where to, but I couldn't stay here. It wouldn't throw off our alibi if I just disappeared, my father was fairly confident that the animal attack façade would work. Besides, what if this happened again? I felt a lump in my throat at the thought of it. I couldn't ask my family to cover up for me twice, what if this was just a prelude to some weird pubescent blood seeking rampage that I would soon be on? I had to go on alone, so I wouldn't hurt the ones I loved anymore.

Then a new thought entered my head, what if this was only a one time occurrence and my absence was just a symptom of some silly overreaction that would hurt my family even more? I didn't know what any of it meant, but I figured, better safe than sorry, I would hate for everyone to spend an eternity running. I was going to die eventually anyway, I wasn't immortal like my parents, my years were numbered. They'd have to deal with that loss eventually, what difference did it make?

I had made my decision and I needed to stick with it. I climbed out of bed and wiped my tear rimmed eyes with the back of my hand. I needed to start moving or I was going to back out. I grabbed a messenger bag out of my closet and started packing a few things. I would have to travel light, I wasn't going to take my car and I had no idea where I was going. I threw a few layers of clothes on and my shoes. Now came the problem of how I was going to fund this little excursion. I hated to do it, but headed back down the hallway to my parent's room.

I crept into the room carefully, as if I thought I was disrupting something, even though I knew my parents were long gone. I didn't linger and made my way over to the closet, they had a safe and I knew the code, in case of emergency, they kept nearly two hundred thousand dollars in there. I typed in the long numeric password and twisted open the door. I grabbed a very small handful of bills and shoved it into the bag and quickly locked up. I turned to hurry out of the closet, but hesitated for a moment. I felt like I needed to savor this moment, because I would never return to this place. I looked to my right, mom's side. She had hundreds of dresses, shoes, bags, slacks, tops, and they were all haphazardly arranged everywhere on her side of the closet. She never wore any of these things, she always wore the same ripped jeans and converse sneakers, and they weren't even in here, because she had them on right now. I looked to the left, dad's side. All of his shirts were pressed and arranged, a finger's space between each of the hangers, all of his shoes were neatly paired, and in a clean row along the floor. But yet, there were only a few things he would wear as well, over and over again. It just illustrated how trivial and superficial most things were to the two of them.

I shut the light off in the closet and stepped out into their room. They had left a dim end lamp on, and it cast a warm glow all around me. I looked over at the gigantic mahogany chest of drawers at the head of the room. It was scattered with various sized picture frames that were symbolic of a shrine. There were no pictures of my aunts or uncles or grandparents, just pictures of my parents and of me. One was of them on their wedding day, and some other random candid of the two of them, but the rest all had me in them. I really had become their life. Pangs of guilt shuddered through me. I glanced over at the bed and laid down on it for a moment. They didn't sleep but they would often just lie here and talk or watch TV or something. I curled into a ball and pressed my face against the pillow they shared. I could vividly smell my mother's soft floral scent and my father's deep, sweet smell. I immediately felt comforted, without even thinking about it, I snatched the pillowcase right off of it and stuffed it in my bag.

I made pulled myself off of the bed and left without looking back. I hurried back to my room and decided to climb out the window. Again, my parents weren't home, but I felt it was more covert to leave this way. I felt my sneakers crunch against the ground and started to make a b-line for the woods, glancing behind me once more at the home that had brought me such joy for so long. I ran faster to get it out of my sights more quickly; tears started pouring down my face, blinding me. My contacts were burning my eyes and my chest started to hop uncomfortably with the sobs exploding out of it but I kept running until the house was completely gone.

I finally reached the edge of the woods that lined our property, I would have to be careful or I might bump into my parents on the way, and that simply would not fly. I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and called the one person who could bring me peace.

"Hello?" A husky voice answered on the other end.

"Jacob?" I squeaked, trying to slow my voice.

"Oh, hey Ness! What's up? It's kinda late isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

He laughed hoarsely on the other end as if it were a preposterous thought. "No, of course not, and besides, you know it doesn't matter, I just know you like to go to bed early usually. What's up?"

"Ummm, not much, hey can I ask you a favor?"I asked uneasily, twisting a piece of my hair around my finger.

"Anything." It was stifling how sincere he sounded.

"Can you meet me somewhere, in the woods I mean, at the edge of my parent's property?"

"What's wrong?" He asked firmly, all lightness draining from his tone.

"Nothing," I assured quickly, "I just, need to see you."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"Well, you don't, hello?" I asked confused. He hung up on me; he was on his way down. Five minutes he said, how was that possible? He lived like half an hour away. I shrugged my shoulders and sat down on a rock and waited in anticipation.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

RPOV

Chapter 4

I sat on my rock for a few minutes just listening to the sounds of the inky darkness around me and it began to lull me into a state of meditation. Most girls my age would feel uncomfortable in such a place alone, but not me; I was actually comforted by it. I was comforted by the sounds of the crickets and of the little river that ran across the property gurgling along endlessly. It had rained earlier in the evening, but had stopped now, and I could still hear the beads of water dripping off of the leaves on the trees and onto the damp ground. I could fall asleep here if I weren't trying to leave it all. I shut my eyes and breathed in the lovely verdant scent that surrounded me and felt my mind start to wander.

It was a warm, husky familiar voice saying my name that snapped me out of my stupor.

"Ness?"

I opened my eyes and looked up, there he was, my personal universe, standing in the shade of a large pine tree in canvas sneakers, cargo shorts and an old t-shirt.

"Hey Jacob, how'd you get here so fast?" I asked, my voice light and cheerful for the first time on this day from Hell. "You live like half an hour away."

"I tend to move a lot faster when _you _call me," he said smiling widely; his perfect white teeth almost glowed underneath the translucent light of the moon.

"Well what are you doing all the way over there? Come over here." I requested, holding my arms open to him.

He laughed a deep soft chuckle to himself, shaking his head slightly and strode toward me. For someone as huge and as casual as Jacob, it amazed me how precise all of his movements were, they were effortless it seemed, almost to a supernatural degree. Similar to that of my father's or Carlisle's; my new found cheer dampened a little at the thought of them.

As he stepped toward me, the light from the moon illuminated him more so that I could get a better look at him, not that I really needed the light, but it made the experience all the better. Jacob was so handsome; his cropped raven black hair framed his square, kind face beautifully. His skin was rich and umber, such a contrast from the pale, flawless complexion I had grown up around. I wanted to wrap myself up in his skin, and feel it against me, it looked so warm and inviting and comfortable to me. There was something very raw and different about Jacob; he almost looked like he belonged in these woods, like some mythical fairy tale character that just appears to you one day when you're at your lowest of lows.

I tried to take in all of Jacob's features in the time it took him to approach me, knowing that this would be the last time I saw him. I wanted to remember everything about him perfectly and lock it in my memory so I could bring it out whenever I needed a smile or warmth. It was hard to do because he moved so quickly toward me, I was tempted to ask him to stop and stand there for a minute, but I figured he'd think that was weird.

Immediately once he was in reach he scooped me up into his gigantic arms and hugged me against his chest. This was nothing new, Jacob had always been very affectionate toward me, so I was used to him treating me like this. I had been blessed with the short gene, so I was practically doll sized beside Jacob, but it didn't matter, this felt good to me.

"Jacob," I squeaked, "you're sort of hurting me now," I gasped.

"Oh! Sorry!" He said, quickly lowering me back down onto the ground. "Why are we out here anyways?"

"Well, I, needed to talk to you about something, and I didn't want to do it on the phone. I just, really wanted to see you." I stammered, digging the toe of my shoe into the soft ground nervously.

"Well, I'm flattered, but…" he stopped and studied my face.

"What? What's the matter?" I asked becoming alarmed, had I forgotten to put in my contacts? Could he see the red in my eyes, even though it was dark? I suppose anything was possible, and then I wondered if he would know what it meant, and if so, would he understand?

"You've been crying haven't you? What's going on? Did someone hurt you? I'll kill them. Is it your parents? Is it the blonde?" He hypothesized frantically.

"Jake, no, nobody hurt me, Rosalie's fine, the parents, fine. I'm okay."

He touched my face and ran his rough thumb slowly underneath my eye his wide, dark, irises were muddled with concern. "You've been crying, a lot…What's going on Ness? You can tell me."

"I know that, that's why I called you. I, I've just had a really bad day." I said putting my hand on his forearm. He dropped his hand from my face but didn't let up on his gaze. I felt myself begin to unravel, I needed to hug him, one more time before I told him what I had done and he left my life forever out of fear and disgust.

I wrapped my arms around his broad back and crushed my face against him. I felt him rest his chin on my head and hug me back, sighing sadly in response.

"It's okay Ness, everything's going to be fine, whatever it is, we can make it right." He said lightly, stroking the back of my head with his huge hand. I managed to avoid crying by taking a few breaths and basking in the warmth exuding all around Jacob.

"I don't know about this time." I replied miserably.

"What happened?" He asked, "You gotta tell me something or I'm not going to be able to do much for you in the way of problem solving." He joked.

Might as well tell him, I thought, I couldn't avoid it forever. "Jacob," I said pulling away from him a little, "I did something today, that I can never take back. I can never make it right."

"It doesn't matter, you can still tell me." He assured.

"I, I killed someone at school today." I whispered.

He let out a hearty laugh, "yeah, okay Renessmee, _you _killed someone. Sweetheart, you can't even watch those commercials for abused animals without going through an entire box of tissues and scarfing down a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I find it very hard to believe that you killed a whole person."

I stared intently at him, solemn as a stone, "believe it." I said firmly.

Then it seemed the gravity of the situation finally hit Jacob. His easy grin suddenly became a tight, sad line, and his eyes became sullen. "You're serious aren't you?"

"Jacob, I've got a dark sense of humor, but I'm not sick enough to joke about something like that." I said sarcastically.

He lowered himself down to a sitting position on the rock and gazed up at me, "tell me what happened."

Jacob was ready to have a long sit down with me and talk this out, but I was suddenly starting to feel a sense of uneasiness overcoming me, like we were being watched, like we were not alone. I needed to get out of this place, there were too many memories creeping up on me now. Maybe that was what was making me anxious, I could remember all of the time I had spent out here with my father, with my mother, with my aunts and uncles. The forest was thick with memories and haunted with noises of the past, and I wanted to get away from it as quickly as possible. I wanted it to remain a happy sanctuary, not the place where I told Jacob what I had done and certainly not the place where Jacob would leave me once he found out what I was becoming.

"Do you mind if we walk a little?" I requested, my voice starting to raise an octave.

Jacob looked confused, his eyes narrowed and he crinkled his nose up a little, "Um, sure, I guess, you sure you don't want to take it easy and just sit?"

"No, I'd really like to walk actually." I said quickly.

"Okay," he sighed, shrugging his shoulders and rising.

"Thanks," I said appreciatively, touching his hand.

We walked for a few minutes in silence not sure where we were headed; we just stayed in an easterly direction heading away from my family's property.

"So, what happened?" Jacob asked suddenly in a very careful tone.

Where would I start? How much did Jacob know already about my family, about me? I mean, I always assumed he knew we were different, me especially, but to what extent I was unsure. I guess I would have to start there. I had known him my entire life, but aside from a few weird things about my personality, he had always treated me like a regular person. I didn't really talk about my unique hybrid state or any of that, because I figured he'd never want to hear about it or would have any understanding of it. We built our friendship on common interests, closeness, loyalty, that sort of thing.

"Jacob, I know we've known each other forever and you're used to my family, but, and please don't be offended by this when I ask you, do you know, um, _everything_ about us?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He watched me carefully as I spoke, keeping perfect time with my footsteps. He seemed to be listening very closely to make sure he understood the question, and then with more confidence than I had anticipated he answered, "Yes."

"I mean, everything, everything? You're sure?"

"Renessmee, I was there the day you were born and the months leading up to that, I was there every day, watching Bella and trying not to kill Edward." I smiled a little at that. "And, before that, Bella had already told me most everything about the Cullens, even before she said anything, I knew what they were. In fact, _I_ was actually the one who helped your mom figure out what your dad was. So yes, I know all about your family." He laughed.

"And me, you know that I'm…"

"A halfbreed?"

"Ouch Jacob, don't you think that's a little derogatory?"

"Just trying to make you laugh," he said with a smirk.

"Well it's not very funny, I'm trying to be serious here." I said stopping in my tracks and crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry."

"Fine, anyways," I continued, walking again. "So, up until this point, I've been trying to be as human as possible, but something happened today, that, wasn't human at all." I stared at the ground as I spoke, unable to look at him and nervously flailing my arms everywhere as I tried to find the right words.

Within half a second, Jacob was in front of me, blocking my way so that I couldn't walk any further, he gently grabbed my phantom limbs and lowered them slowly to my hips. I continued to stare at the ground, shamefully. "Renessmee," he said quietly, "Renessmee," he said taking my chin in his hand and turning my face up to him. "Just say it, I'm not going anywhere."

I looked at his face, warm and genuine and serious. I was in love with him, so much that it made my chest hurt. "It's hard, to, talk about…" I whispered, looking away from him. Especially to him, my parents understood, they would never be disappointed in me, at least not in regard to this situation. But Jacob, how could he understand? Jacob was good and innocent and wouldn't hurt a fly, I was dangerous, I was poison, and his disappointment would destroy me.

"Why don't you just," he stammered a bit, "just show me then." He said quickly.

My gift, I hadn't used it in years. I didn't like to, mostly because it took a lot of concentration and it seemed invasive to me. I didn't like to play with people's minds, and besides, it was just as easy for me to explain myself verbally; most of the time.

"Are you sure?" I asked, unable to hide the relief in my voice.

"Go ahead if it's easier for you."

"Okay, hold still." I reached my small hands up to him and placed them on either side of his face. He was going to need to shave soon, human eyes couldn't see the stubbly shadow forming on his jaw, but I did and I could feel it now as I touched him. I smiled to myself and then tried to refocus. I stared up into his liquid, trusting brown eyes and then shut mine. I tried to remember the ghastly events of the afternoon in the order in which they happened and attempted to organize them so that they didn't seem so sporadic and jumbled.

It took a moment but then, like a floodgate that couldn't be contained my whole day played out. Starting from when I woke up, to the first five classes of the day, to the very moment when I could _smell _that boy. I tried to keep my thoughts as matter of fact and unemotional as possible, but I knew that Jacob could feel some of what I had been feeling, the craving, the darkness, the incessant need for blood I felt once I caught wind. He saw me manipulate that boy and then trap him in the woods. He saw me recoil into a perfect predatory crouch; I had no idea where I had learned how to do such a thing. He saw me overpower the boy easily, this boy that was nearly twice my size in width and height and I pinned him against a tree as if he were made of twigs. Then the worst part, I showed him the expression of confusion and horror cemented on the boy's young face as I sunk my teeth into him and tore at him and lapped at him until he grew weak and then limp in my arms. That was enough, that was plenty; Jacob didn't need to see anymore. I retracted my hands from his innocent face at an inhuman speed and stepped away from him quickly and awaited the backlash of the confession I had just made to my best friend.

Jacob took his hands and covered his face, he was sweating and I saw his chest rise and fall as he took deep breaths. Then something very strange happened, his entire body seemed to shudder, like his skin was literally crawling in front of me, I was confused and frightened. I took a few steps toward him.

"Jake?" I said uncertainly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay Ness, just give me a second." He requested calmly, still pressing the heels of his hands against his face.

He dropped his hands to his sides and placed them on his hips and paced a little from side to side. The shuddering seemed to be slowing down now. He sighed deeply and kicked at a rock nervously with his sneaker. Then he stopped and peered up at me. I had taken a few steps back and had my arms clutched around my stomach. I realized I was trying to hold myself together in preparation of Jacob flipping out on me and telling me he never wanted to see me again.

"Oh, Renessmee, honey," he whispered coming toward me. He wrapped his arms around me again and held me close to him. I felt his nose in my hair, did he just kiss me? I thought to myself. Probably not, just wishful thinking. "Ness, I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

I dropped my arms away from my stomach and squeezed him back and felt tears running down my face. "Yeah, I guess. Do you hate me?"

"Of course not," he whispered, rocking me slowly.

"You don't?" I sniffled, "Why not?"

"Why would I? You couldn't help it, and besides, you could never make me hate you, no matter what you did."

"I don't deserve a friend like you." I whispered, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Nope, probably not, but I'm sticking around none the less." He teased. "Even though you're officially a creepy vampire girl now, I still love ya."

"I am not creepy and I'm not a vampire! I'm a halfbreed remember? I usually eat a salad for lunch; you've seen me do it." I protested, trying to keep things light, I didn't want to spend all the time I had left with Jacob crying. We began to walk again, still headed east, if Jacob only knew how much worse my day was going to get when I left Washington.

"Salad," he snorted, "last time I ate lunch with you, you were eating a quarter pounder with special sauce and everything, don't kid yourself Miss Cullen." He said, jabbing a long, dark finger into my rib cage.

"At least I didn't eat four, and then get disappointed that I ran out of fries, Mr. Black." I retorted, much of our friendship was based on sarcasm and ball busting as well.

"Hey, I was going through a growth spurt, what can I say? Which reminds me, when was the last time you grew, shorty? When you were five?"

"I was waiting for the short jokes to come around." I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

"I wouldn't want to disappoint." He replied.

We walked through the woods in silence again, Jacob never breaking his stride or making a sound with his enormous feet.

"Renessmee, are you seriously going to be okay? I mean, I assume your family took care of everything, like alibi wise right?"

I couldn't believe we were having this conversation, and the fact that it didn't seem odd to Jacob made it even more upsetting.

"Ah, yeah, Emmett and Jasper and dad took care of it. They made it look like an animal attack I guess."

"Yeah, they usually do." He muttered darkly.

"Jacob, you know my family isn't like that. They have a huge respect for human life, you know that." I said defensively.

"Sure, sure, I know that." He replied, putting his hands in his pockets. He was silent for a minute or two and then I felt his eyes on me. I glanced over at him without moving my head, he was eyeing my bag and my clothes, he knew something was up.

"You're leaving aren't you?" He asked sadly.

"Mmhm." I mumbled in response, staring straight ahead and picking up the pace a little.

"Why?"

"Because, it's just, it's the right thing to do."

"Why?"

"Because it is." I said curtly.

"You know this is going to kill your mother right? And your father, he's already a miserable bastard; this is going to push him over the edge. You know that right?" He asked, also staring straight ahead and increasing his pace.

"I know," I said, my voice catching in my throat, "but, they'll get over it eventually."

"No they won't." Jacob proposed firmly.

I stopped in my tracks and turned on my heel and said emphatically, "I know Jacob, okay? But, they're not safe with me around screwing up like this, what if this happens again? What if I can't control it like they can? They're better off without me; they're intelligent enough to understand that."

"Okay, what about Charlie? You and Bella and Edward are all he has, you can't just up and leave him." He argued, placing his hands on his hips angrily. It was so surreal to hear my parents referenced by their first names, but that was what Jacob had always known them as.

"He still has my mom. She'll never leave his side."

"Well, you just have an answer for everything don't you?" He snapped.

"I like to think so," I replied in my own snappy tone. I turned and continued to walk toward my unknown destination.

"What about me then?" He called.

I turned and saw that he was no longer by my side, but lingering behind where we were just standing. I grumbled to myself and stormed back over to him. "Excuse me?" I asked.

"I said, what about me?"

"What about you?"

"I don't want you to leave."

"Believe me, I don't want to leave Jake, I just, feel as if I have to." I explained sadly.

"And there's nothing I can do to dissuade you?" He wheedled.

"No."

"Fine, then I'm going with you." He announced with a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

RPOV

Chapter 5

"No you're not. That's ridiculous, you have family and friends and a future here." I said tenderly, touching his arm.

"I have all of that with you." He said shyly, staring up at me through his thick black eyelashes, I felt my heart skip a beat and felt woozy for a second.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pulling my head out of the clouds.

"There's something I need to tell you too. I wasn't planning on doing it this soon, but since you're bound and determined to become a teenage runaway, I figure I better say something now." He grimaced.

"What do you want to tell me?" I asked, perplexed.

"We should keep walking, it's a long story." He urged, lightly touching my back and pushing me along.

"What is it?" I rephrased.

"Well, okay, so I know that I know a lot about you and your family, but I don't quite think you know enough about mine. My family is a pack."

"What, a pack? Is that some kind of native American reference?"

"Sort of." He stammered anxiously. "Actually, not at all," he corrected. "Okay, so, did you know that my tribe was descended from…no, um, okay, so vampires aren't the only…no,"

He was getting frustrated, I could see it and very obviously, I could hear it. He got like this sometimes when he was apprehensive and it was best not to push things with Jacob, the right words would eventually come.

"I'm sort of, well, a wolf."

I stopped in my tracks and felt him bump into me. "Oof." I coughed. "Wait, did you say, wolf?"

"I did."

"As in, a werewolf?" I asked, shocked.

"Well, not exactly, I suppose I could be called a shape shifter, but werewolf is easier to understand."

"I find both to be a little difficult to interpret quite honestly," I said quickly, my voice steadily picking up speed. I hadn't realized that I was still standing in the same spot. He touched the small of my back and pushed me along gently.

"My great grandfather and his ancestors before that were supposedly descended from wolves. We're seen as protectors, the gene only makes itself present when there's a threat in the environment." He explained as he loped along beside me in the dark.

"The gene?" I asked, incredulous, of all things that Jacob could have said to me at that moment, I never would have expected this. Maybe he understood me better than I thought. "What kind of a threat?"

"Well, actually," he started, and then stopped, "you know, just a threat. Something that appears in the environment that isn't normally there that can potentially hurt someone."

I knew what he was getting at and that he was just trying to spare my feelings. "Like a vampire Jacob?" I asked, irritated.

"I didn't say that."

"But you meant it."

"It doesn't matter, I know your family isn't going to hurt anybody, but their presence, well, regardless, we have a truce with them. Now we pretty much just watch out for any nomads that aren't 'vegetarian' that may stop by for a visit. Sometimes, our pack has to go help other packs too, so occasionally we have to travel."

"Other packs?" I exclaimed.

"There's hundreds, maybe thousands of us Ness." He informed, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"So how do you, what do you, what happens when you…" I was at a loss for words.

"Phase?" He asked, trying to offer up a little help.

"Huh?"

"It's called phasing, when we change."

"You're probably going to laugh at me, but does it have to be a full moon or anything special like that?"

He chuckled a deep throaty sound, and smiled at me, "No, that's just a myth. In order for me to phase, all I have to do is concentrate on it and I can change almost instantly."

"So it's easy then?"

"For me it is, for some of the other guys, it's a little more difficult."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really, I'm used to it now. It makes me feel kind of dizzy, and I have to plan ahead a little, otherwise all of my clothes rip and that gets expensive after awhile." He explained sheepishly.

"So, is that why you're so warm all the time and can get to me quickly and don't make a sound when you walk?" I asked, putting all the things about Jacob together that always stuck out to me.

"Um, yeah. You noticed all of those things about me?" He asked sounding embarrassed.

"Of course."

"I'm surprised."

I glanced over to him and smiled shyly, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "So, is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"Sort of, there's a lot more to tell, but that's the basic gist of it. But there is something else…" His tone was awkward and uncertain suddenly. He quickly reached toward me and took my hand in his.

"Jacob, what is it?" I asked, concerned.

He dropped my hand just as quickly as he had grabbed it. He was acting so strange tonight, I wondered if he was really taking my news harder than he wanted me to know. I wondered if he regretted telling me about his secret.

"You haven't said anything about what I just told you." He said suddenly, knitting his dark eyebrows in confusion.

"What did you want me to say?" I asked, he looked hurt by my indifference, I immediately felt guilty. "No, Jacob, that's not what I meant," I insisted, whirling around and putting my hand on his chest. His heart was beating fast and loud. He dropped his pretty brown eyes down to his chest with a questioning look on his face. I retracted my hand away from him, embarrassed that it seemed so natural for me to be touching him in a very personal way. "Sorry." I whispered. "What I meant was, I don't know what you're expecting me to do with what you just said. It makes no difference to me what you are, I know who you are, and I love you, you're my best friend. I don't know if you were expecting me to throw my hands in the air and run away from you screaming, but it's not going to happen. You're still just Jacob to me."

"I'm glad, I feel better that you know, you're my best friend too." He said quietly.

"So what other wolfy things can you do?" I teased, trying to change the subject.

"Well, I can see and hear and smell things that humans can't." He said with a small grin.

"So can I." I sung with a smirk.

"Um, I'm really strong, and I can run pretty fast." He replied, his grin getting wider.

"Got you on that one too," I added competitively.

"Okay, what about imprinting, are you familiar with that?"

"Yeah, that happens with birds a lot doesn't it? A baby sees its' mother and it registers somewhere in their brain so that it never forgets her right?"

"Well, yeah, but that's birds. I'm talking about wolves." He scoffed.

"Well, I assume it's the same thing."

"Actually, it's different, with wolves, they imprint on their mate."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, at least for us, that when we see a certain someone, everything stops, and our life suddenly becomes all about them."

"Like love at first sight?" I asked sadly.

"It's more than just love, its devotion, and loyalty, friendship, wholeness." Jacob's huge body and handsome face suddenly became animated with hope and giddiness as he explained more to me. Clearly, it seemed like he had already imprinted on someone and I suddenly felt alone. I felt like I had imprinted on him and now I was going to be left behind.

"What if the person you imprint on doesn't feel the same way about you?" I thought to myself how horrible that would be. How horrible it would be to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and be rejected by them and still love them. Not only did you have your emotions working against you, but biology as well. An innate need to be with someone that you couldn't explain and to have them not return that need would be torture. I thought about what my parents would be like without each other, what I would be like without Jacob, everything would be hollow and meaningless.

"Well, technically speaking," he continued, "how could the other person not feel the same way about you after you show how devoted you are to them? After you show them over and over how much they mean to you? But, it does happen sometimes and then I guess, you try to be what they need and try to be satisfied with that. I mean, you can't make someone love you, right?"

"Right." I replied flatly. "So," I started, I didn't want to ask my next question, but felt like I had to, "have you imprinted on anyone yet?"

"I was like the only one in the pack who didn't. I didn't understand why everyone, even some of the younger guys, were finding their mates and I wasn't. And then, one day it happened, I can't even explain it, I just knew the second I saw her that I would somehow, be in her life forever."

I knew it, I just knew it. Jacob had a girlfriend, a mate. He never told me about her. Probably because my secret crush on him was more obvious than I thought. He didn't want to hurt my feelings. I shut my eyes tightly and felt a few tears squeeze out of them. It was a miracle that I wasn't a withered up raisin by now with all the fluid I had lost today from crying.

"Renessmee, why are you crying? What did I say?" He asked, his voice rising in alarm, how quickly I forgot that Jacob could see in the dark.

"Nothing, that's great Jake, I'm glad you imprinted on someone." I said tonelessly, looking away from him.

"Renessmee," he said softly, placing his hot hands on either side of my face, "I imprinted on you." My face was level with his chest and I slowly turned my head up toward him as I realized what he had just said.

"What?" I gasped. Suddenly, Jacob's demeanor went from nervous to giddy to absolute basket case. Phrases upon sentences upon words spewed out uncontrollably from his mouth in an effort to keep me calm.

"Please don't be mad at me, I couldn't help it, the day you were born, believe me, it threw me for a loop, and Bella, Bella was furious, I think she actually punched me. I think I took ten years off of Edward's life…you know, which would be okay, but, I'm so sorry! I couldn't help it, you're probably so mad at me right now, I didn't want to tell you now, but with you wanting to leave, I'll go with you because I don't want you to go, and…." He babbled on, smoothing his rough hands over my shoulders.

"My parents knew?!" I growled.

"I didn't even have to say anything and Bella knew."

"Why didn't they ever mention anything about this to me?!" I cried shrilly.

"Oh Ness, I'm sorry, they didn't want to tell you because they wanted you to decide someday who you wanted to be with. They were both in agreement that it seemed too much like an arranged thing if anything was said, which it's definitely not. You can be with whomever you want, I just want you to be happy, I'll always be around as long as you want me to be, but if you want to date some vampire guy or some human guy, I can't say that I won't put in my two cents, but I'll leave you to it."

"Jacob, that sounds so horrible for you."

"It's okay, I'm used to it." He assured me brightly, which seemed even sadder to me.

I loved Jacob Black with all of my heart, but now that it was clear how he felt about me the reality of the situation was making itself very known. My mother was right; he would follow me wherever I went. Jacob was right when he said that it was more than love, it was wholeness. We made each other feel whole and I think I knew that from the day I met him. I didn't want to be separated from him, I didn't want anybody else. I couldn't picture anyone ever meaning as much to me as Jacob did. I finally understood what my parents had, what Carlisle and Esme had and Alice and Jasper, even Emmett and Rosalie. They had found their partner, and I had found mine, even as young as I was, I knew.

I had been quiet for too long, Jacob seemed childishly innocent now as he waited with baited breath for my response. He shuffled his feet around in the dirt and looked away from me, above and toward the stars that were finally starting to peek out from around the wispy moonlit clouds. I watched him closely, appreciating every feature about him that made him my Jacob. Finally, he turned back toward me with what was supposed to be a fleeting glance. Supposed to be, I summoned all the courage I could muster after this awful day and reached toward Jacob; the silver lining around my little black cloud.

Because I was too short to reach him I had to get him down to my level. I grabbed his t-shirt roughly and yanked it toward me, startling him and causing his body to jerk awkwardly. Once Jacob was close enough, still holding onto his shirt, I planted my lips against his. I must have caught him off guard because his body waivered a little as I held him prisoner against my face. I heard the fabric's stitching groan a little, about to rip, and I quickly let go and pulled away from him.

Jacob stared at me, his liquid brown eyes locked tenderly on mine. He reached toward my arm and took my wrist gingerly in his hand and rubbed slow, soothing circles against it with his thumb, holding his gaze with me the entire time. Then he slipped his other hand beneath my hair and stroked the side of my face gently. He tilted my head back slightly and leaned in. I shut my eyes and felt his warm full lips against mine, as light as a summer breeze. It lasted only a few seconds and then he let his lips brush against my cheek and kissed me on the temple. It was so surreal and perfect that I was sure I had to be dreaming.

My eyes fluttered open, fearful that he would be gone, but he was still there, staring at me dreamily. I took a step forward and rested my head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. I had never felt so safe and at ease in my entire life than I did at that moment. I felt like I was in the shelter of a great, strong tree, protected from the outside world by its' immense and accepting branches. He kissed the top of my head and I sighed contently. I wanted to stay here with him forever, in the dark, surrounded by all of the raw beauty of the rocks and vegetation around us, our only light the nighttime sky, it was perfect…

Then I heard something and I suddenly became very disgruntled, not the first emotion I thought would pay me a visit tonight, but it was there nonetheless.

"Dammit." I grumbled.

"What? What's the matter?" He asked sleepily.

"You don't hear that?" I asked him.

Jacob paused and cocked his head a little, resembling a dog more than I had expected him to. "Oh."

"Yeah, my parents are coming."

Thanks for the great reviews, I read them over and over again and look forward to getting them, so please keep reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Sorry everybody, the point of views bounce around a little bit here, but I promise to get right back to Renessmee's perspective once again. Thanks again for the support, keep reading and reviewing, I'm really enjoying writing this!

EPOV

Chapter 6

Bella and I had been home for less than half an hour, Renessmee's door was shut and the lights were off. I hoped that she had finally fallen asleep. It was ridiculous to even think that she wasn't exhausted after her harrowing day and all the mental stress it had brought on her, but she had a tendency to dwell on things, and I hoped it wasn't keeping her up. Regardless of whether it was or not, Bella and I decided to back off of her for the rest of the night, figuring that she needed time alone with her thoughts.

We still hadn't reached an agreement as to what we were going to do next. I wanted Carlisle to come home but none of us could get in touch with him for some reason. Bella seemed at ease as she settled back onto the couch and crossed her legs under her. She had thrown on some ratty sweat pants and was reaching behind her and piling her hair up in a messy ponytail. I watched her with fascination, distracting my thoughts away from Renessmee for half a second and smiled. It didn't matter what she was wearing or doing, Bella was always beautiful.

"What?" She asked glancing over at me and catching me in the act.

"Nothing," I said shaking my head dismissively. That did it, that broke my distraction and I was thinking about Renessmee again.

"Edward, it's going to be okay." She assured me, knitting her eyebrows in concern. It was amazing, like immortality had never even touched her, she always looked so human, maybe it was because she was pale as it was when she was alive. I cringed at the thought for a moment and quickly refocused.

"Bella, you have no idea how devastating this is. If you saw her face today, right after it happened, I had no idea what to do with her. No idea. Not a clue, how am I supposed to make her believe everything is going to be alright when I'm not sure it is? We've tried to raise her to be human, but she's different, there's no getting around it, and of course it's fine to be different, but this is a different kind of different." I was babbling now, incoherently. I stood up and paced around our tiny living room. Bella watched me with concerned eyes; I think she was more worried about me than she was about our daughter.

"Edward," she said getting up and walking over to me, I felt panicky and agitated. She put her hands on my waist and stopped me from pacing. She took my hand and walked me over to the armchair and made me sit down. "Listen to me," she said kneeling in front of me. She placed her small hands on either side of my face and I immediately felt my anxiety settle. "Renessmee is going to get through this, and you are going to be the one that can offer her the most help. She comes to me for certain things and you for others, this is imperative that you be strong for her because she can glean something from your experiences. You're her father and you've been through this before, in her darkest hour, you are going to be her guiding light. You, not me."

I sighed and placed my hand over one of hers, she was so wise for someone so young. "What if I can't help her?"

"For someone who's so confident about most things, you're kind of falling apart here." She teased.

"I've never had to watch over someone like this before."

"Sure you have." She said smiling, "look how well I'm doing."

"Bella, I've nearly gotten you killed on more than four occasions, knocked you up, and then sentenced you to a life of eternal damnation. I would say that's far from well." I said miserably.

"I'm still here though."

"You deserve a medal." I replied sarcastically. "Besides, you had already established who you were by the time you met me, Renessmee is still learning how to, be. Her character and personality are still forming and we play a significant part in that, I just, I don't want to ruin her. You were right when you said she needed to be around Charlie and her school friends, and," I swallowed hard, "Jacob, even though he's far from human." I added acidly.

"He's human enough." She defended.

"Maybe you're right, maybe we should just stay here. As long as we can be certain that she's safe."

"Of course," she agreed.

"I'd still rather speak with Carlisle before we make a decision."

"Fine."

She placed her hands on my thighs and looked up at me with her golden eyes. Even after eight years or so of her being in this form, their bright amber color startled me from time to time. I sometimes wished they were still brown. I sighed and smiled weakly at her, smoothing my hand down her lovely face. She shut her eyes and breathed contently. She nuzzled her face against my hand and kissed my wrist lightly, "I promise you, this is going to be fine," she whispered.

Bella's eyes fluttered open dreamily and as I leaned forward to kiss her, the front door burst open. I should have heard her coming, but my mind had been slightly preoccupied at the moment.

"Alice, Jesus!" I shouted, I didn't even realize it, but somehow in the nanoseconds that it took for me to realize it was Alice at the door Bella had leapt up from the floor and I had instinctively jumped up, pushed her behind me and was now crouching in a defensive stance. I was so jittery that if I were a human in the country, I probably would have a loaded shotgun pointed at her.

Then it only took me moments to realize that something was very wrong with her expression. I couldn't speak as I scanned her thoughts, I felt a lump growing in my chest and slither up my throat and block my airway.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Renessmee's gone. She's run away." Alice said frantically.

Horrifying thoughts went through my brain, was she hurt? Where was she? Where was she going? What was she thinking? She was stronger than an average human, but what if something happened? She was by herself, in the dark, wandering around in a state…I held my hand out and Bella quickly took it and squeezed. I still couldn't speak.

"Edward, calm down, she's close, we can easily catch up with her, Emmett and Jasper are on their way home," she started.

I needed to see it for myself, I pulled Bella along behind me, nearly pushing Alice out of the way and stalked down the hallway to Renessmee's bedroom. I opened the door, and she wasn't there, she was gone, vanished, her pajamas lay on the floor and her window was open. It almost looked like an abduction. My eyes darted around the room, looking for any trace of her; I caught her scent and followed it out of her room and into ours. She had been in here, she had gone into the closet, then over to the dresser, and then sat on our bed, no, laid on our bed. The pillowcase on one of the pillows was missing. Bella just wandered around the room aimlessly, preparing to burst into tears if she could. I went into the closet, she had taken cash, she was planning on leaving the state I assumed. I followed her scent back down the hallway to her room and stood in front of the window.

Bella was at my side instantly, as was Alice, and then, the three of us climbed out of the window one by one and found the trail she was on and headed towards the woods.


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

RPOV

Chapter 7

"What am I supposed to do? I can't face them; it's not going to take them very long to find me. Friggin' Alice and her gift. Why doesn't she do something profitable with it and open up a psychic hotline or something?" I moaned at Jacob.

"I still don't understand why you have to leave anyways, they're not mad at you, you're not mad at them, just tell them we were out for a walk." Jacob suggested.

"Jacob, I don't have time for this right now! I told you why I have to leave. Now are you going to help me figure this out or what?" I Said stomping my foot.

"Did you just stomp your foot at me?" He asked, amused.

"Jacob please!"

"Okay Ness, I'm sorry," he said throwing his hands in front of him in defense.

"How do you outrun a vampire? Think, think," I commanded to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. I never realized how much I acted like my father when I got stressed out. "There's no way, there's no way to get away from them, especially with 'Edward' leading the group," I said disdainfully, "which you know he is." I informed Jacob, "unless, he's a terrible tracker, but, oh who am I kidding, I am so grounded. I'm going to Hell and I'm grounded." I said, defeated and sitting on the ground. I figured I might as well wait for them; they'd be here any minute. I could hear them.

"I know how to outrun a vampire." Jacob suddenly piped up with a grin. "I can outrun a vampire."

"No you can't, have you seen how quickly they move?" I asked glancing up at Jacob; he gave me an annoyed and very obvious look. "Right, of course you have." I added flatly.

"You haven't seen me run." Jacob continued.

"Yes I have,"

"Not on four legs you haven't." He smirked.

"What?" I asked, standing up and brushing the dirt off my pants.

Jacob looked like he was having some kind of amazing life changing epiphany. Then, he began taking his clothes off.

"What are you doing?!" I cried, alarmed.

"Do you want to get out of here or not?" He asked, yanking a sneaker off.

"Well, yes, but,"

"Then do me a favor and hold onto these." He grumbled throwing his shoes and socks at me. I quickly gathered them up into a neat pile, then I looked up and he was topless. It's funny how different you view somebody once you suddenly realize they're more than a friend. I had seen Jacob like this a million times, but for some reason tonight, everything about him was different. I could see all of the perfect sinewy lines of his waist and massive shoulders. His stomach and chest alone would put most male celebrities to shame they were so well tone and the light of the moon reflecting off of his russet skin made shadows on the edges of all of his muscles, making him look like some kind of ancient warrior. He was absolutely stunning, like a mirage.

Jacob had stripped down to his boxers, handing me the remainder of his clothes, "here, put these in your bag, I'm going to need them after."

"After? After what?"

"After I get you out of here."

I suddenly realized what was happening; it was embarrassing how slow on the pickup I was tonight. "Wait, you're going to…phase?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" He innocently asked, even though the half naked Jacob that was standing before me looked far from innocent.

"Is it, is it safe?" I asked unsurely.

"I wouldn't do it if it wasn't."

I could hear my parents and Alice, they would be here in a few moments, and now I definitely had to go along with Jacob's plan just to avoid the embarrassing explanation as to why my parents found me in the woods at eleven thirty PM on a school night with a naked boy that was several years older than me.

"Okay." I agreed biting my lip nervously.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, this is only going to take me a minute, and it's kind of creepy, so, you might not want to watch. I can't speak when I'm phased, so you'll have to just trust me and climb on my back and hold on tight." He stepped toward me and put his hands on my face, "I promise that I will not hurt you, okay?"

I quickly nodded and he nodded back with a smile, and stepped several feet away from me. I shut my eyes and right before I did I think I heard him mutter to himself with a laugh, "Oh Edward's going to _hate _this."

He was right, it didn't take long, I didn't want to watch, I just listened to the sounds of my family getting closer when suddenly I heard a ripping sound and a growl and then I felt something wet on my hand. I opened my eyes and saw a huge russet colored wolf standing by my side, rubbing its' huge black snout against my hand.

I gasped out loud and instinctively snatched my hand away. Jacob was nowhere to be seen; all that remained from him was a pair of ripped boxer shorts on the ground; that and the giant mythical wolf by my side.

My family was mere feet away now and I quickly climbed on top of the enormous, intimidating wolf beside me. I secured my bag tightly against me and wrapped my arms and legs around the best, crushing my head against his firm hackles. Suddenly, we were flying, or at least that's what it felt like. I could barely make out anything around me, everything was a dark blur, we started heading downward, like we were going down a hill or (gulp), even a cliff, I wasn't sure, and I began screaming.

I tightened my grip around Jacob and shut my eyes, his fur looked coarse and itchy but surprisingly, wasn't. It was warm and soft and almost fleecy, he smelled like fire and cedar, I breathed him in deeply and a feeling of euphoria instantly washed over me. I opened one eye slightly and made another attempt at watching the scene around me. Everything was still blurry, but I could make out structures now, like rocks and branches. Jacob was as agile and graceful as a martial artist. He leapt over boulders and slunk under tree branches, never letting up on the tremendous speed at which we were moving at. We headed down another cliff and I began screaming again, but this time, it was out of invigoration, and not fear.


	8. Chapter 7 12

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

EPOV

Chapter 7 ½

We were close, I could hear her talking to someone and then I realized who it was and I growled out loud as Bella, Alice and I continued on Renessmee's trail.

"What? What's the matter?" Bella asked.

The scent disappeared and I stopped on the edge of the woods near a clearing.

"She's with Jacob." I informed her, irritation in my voice.

"Good, then she's safe." Bella said confidently.

Then her voice stopped, I couldn't hear Jacob's mind any longer which meant one of two things, either they were too far away, or he had phased. I could guess easily which.

"He's phased." I said tightly, making fists at my sides. How irresponsible, how immature, how could he do that in front of her? I wanted to scream or choke something, no, I wanted to choke _him_. I settled for knocking over a tree instead.

"Edward!" Bella shouted at me in a scathing tone.

I glanced over at her and narrowed my eyes, Alice just watched uncomfortably. "Well," I started, "I," they both glared at me now; clearly they did not appreciate my harsh behavior toward the environment. "I, if he drops her I'll kill him myself." I warned Bella, pointing toward the thickest part of the forest.

"Edward, _you've_ dropped her before." She accused as Alice giggled a little.

"Once Bella, once, I dropped her once and she was fine." I growled defensively.

"Come on, let's just keep going." She suggested running off into the woods.


	9. Chapter 8

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

RPOV

Chapter 8

"Oof." I grumbled as I landed on the ground.

"Oh! Ness, I'm sorry, are you okay? I should have let you down before I phased back." Jacob said hurrying over to me trying to help me up.

"Jacob! I'm fine, I'm alright, don't worry, I fall all of the time." I said looking up at him and grinning and then I realized he was now completely naked. I quickly turned my head away from him and held my bag out to him. "Could you, um, do you mind, getting dressed now?"

"Oh, sorry," he chuckled nervously, "I guess I'm just used to being around the guys all of the time, it really doesn't matter then, know what I mean?"

"S'okay," I said, "I'll just, be over here." I stuttered crawling away and sitting against a tree.

He took the bag from me and trotted off behind a nearby bush. I looked around; we were in a completely different environment than before. Whereas before we were surrounded by pine trees and dirt, there was now sand and driftwood, and I could hear waves in the distance.

"Jake," I called, "where are we?"

He came out from behind the bush adjusting the button on his shorts, "La Push." He said with a smile.

Now that I looked around, I immediately felt silly for asking a question that the answer was so obvious to. Of course we were in La Push, how could I not recognize it?

"So, still want to run away?" Jacob asked sitting beside me and putting his arm around me.

"Yeah."

"Okay, what's the plan then?"

"I don't, I don't really have a plan." I said quietly, laying my face against his bare shoulder.

He kissed my forehead gently, "I'll follow you wherever."

"I know that. I'm glad."

"So do you have any vampire relatives you vacation with?" He teased.

"Yes, actually, but, they'll rat me out immediately to my family."

"What about Renee?" He suggested.

"My grandmother?! Please, she'll be on the phone with my mom so fast I won't even have time to put my bag down. No, I need to find someone who will listen to me, unbiased and set me on the right path. I need my grandfather is who I need."

"Carlisle?"

"Yeah, he sees everything objectively usually, and he always knows what to do. But he's away."

"Where is he?"

"Italy."

"Isn't Italy where that group of ancient bloodsuckers lives? The ones who always give your family trouble?"

"First of all, they don't give us trouble, they just inquire about things, once they know we're not doing anything wrong they leave us alone. If it weren't for them it would be like True Blood with vampires running around all in the open, doing reckless things, the Volturi keep things under control."

"I don't like the sound of them. The few times I met them something didn't sit right with me." Jacob said darkly, shaking his head.

"There's nothing to be afraid of Jake." I assured him.

"I'm not afraid, I just, I don't trust them." He said knitting his eyebrows together.

"Maybe we should go find Carlisle, I know where he stays in Italy, that way I could get to him before my parents do." I suggested, mulling the idea over in my head. Carlisle was my best bet for any real help. My parents were too biased, Alice would try and see the future, Jasper would use his talent to lull me into some kind of hypnotic state, and Rose would probably just slap me again. I reached up and rubbed my face automatically where she had hit me earlier and frowned. Carlisle would look at the situation and my options and be honest with me about what needed to be done. I had to see him before my parents did. That's it; we were going to go to Italy.

"We're going to Italy. At least I am." I announced, standing up.

"Renessmee, seriously, I think that is a very bad idea. Can't you just call Carlisle, like maybe while we're sitting in the sun at a resort somewhere? How are we paying for this anyways?" He added as an afterthought.

"I've got cash."

"Of course you do." He grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"No, we're going, I need to see him in person, and besides, I heard my dad mention that he couldn't get a hold of Carlisle. We'll just pay him a visit."

"Okay, whatever you say." Jacob said, standing up and taking my hand, "Italy it is."


	10. Chapter 9

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

EPOV

Chapter 9

We scoured the woods for hours, still no sign of Renessmee. The sun would be coming up soon, which was fine because nobody would see us out here, and besides, it was Forks, how sunny could it get? Bella looked exhausted, if that were possible, I figured we should head back to the house and regroup.

Alice went back to the main house to meet up with Emmett and Jasper and Rose and change her clothes. Bella and I wearily walked back to the cabin at a human pace. All of the optimism and levity that she had been inciting me with all day and night had drained from her face and now she looked distracted and apprehensive.

She headed slowly down the hallway to our bedroom and laid on the bed in a fetal position. I walked over to the closet and hung my track jacket on a hanger, glancing over at a picture Renessmee had drawn for me when she was two that I had tacked up on the wall. I stepped back out of the closet and curled up behind Bella on the bed.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" I asked her softly as I rubbed her hip gently.

"No thank you." She whispered.

"At least she's with Jacob." I said, doing the best I could to turn around our bad situation.

"Yes, there's that." She agreed glumly. "She's not coming back is she?" Bella asked me, her voice shaking.

"There's no need to jump to conclusions." I said quietly, trying to keep my voice even. "Maybe she just needs some time. If Alice saw her leaving she would have said something by now, which means she's still in Washington. She's probably just at La Push."

"I suppose."

"Bella, love," I started gently, when my phone rang in the other room. I patted her side and got up, "I'll be right back,"

"Ok."

I hurried out to the living room and grabbed my phone, "hello?" It was Esme on the other line, I was immediately happy to hear from her. Maybe her and Carlisle were coming home early, I hoped that were the case. I suddenly felt a little more at ease at the prospect of seeing them again.

And then, I realized, something about her didn't sound right, I looked up and saw Bella standing in the doorway. "What?" I whispered as Esme spoke the words.

I sank down in the chair and lowered the phone to my chest slowly; I stared up at Bella sadly, closing my phone with a snap. "Carlisle…" I whispered, "Carlisle's dead."

Sorry about the cliffhanger! I'll write more within a week, I promise

As for now, keep reading and reviewing, thanks again!!


	11. Chapter 10

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Chapter 10

RPOV

"Ness, stay here for just a second, let me run inside and grab some clothes and my toothbrush." Jacob requested, backing up from me.

"Wait!" I said, suddenly remembering Jacob's dad, "what about Billy? Who's going to take care of him if you leave?"

"My dad will be alright, he's got plenty of friends and my sister's around, honestly, he does most things for himself anyways."

"I just don't feel right about you leaving him."

"Renessmee," Jacob said, placing his hands on either side of my face, "please stop worrying about things that you can't control. Billy will be fine, and he understands. He understands about me leaving, about you leaving, it's okay."

"Please don't tell him what I did." I whispered, "He'd hate me."

"No he wouldn't. But don't worry, I won't say anything."

"Thank you Jacob." I said placing one of my hands over his.

"No problem." He replied, smiling warmly. "I'll be right back," he promised, kissing me on the forehead.

I didn't wait long while Jacob ran into the house to pack and give what I assumed was a brief synopsis of where and why he was leaving to Billy. I paced in front of the water as I waited. I wondered if my parents had given up looking for me yet. I wondered what they were thinking; by now my mother was most likely losing her resolve and my father was probably consoling her. I bit my lip nervously at the thought of the two of them together alone in our little house not knowing where I was. Alice would see what my plans were soon enough and would try to find me. I had to find some way around that, I needed to find a way to dodge them long enough for them to forget about me. Forget about me, did I really want that for them? The answer that resonated through my conscience was undoubtedly, yes.

I glanced at my watch, midnight. What was taking Jacob so long? As selfish as it was, I was beyond happy that he was coming with me, beyond happy that he felt the way he did about me, the same way I felt about him. At least he would be with me and through him I could remember Forks and my family the way I would want to remember it. He was the living proof that I had had a good life here.

"Ness," I heard his soft, husky voice behind me. I turned slowly and he stood there in the moonlight holding a large duffel bag and wearing a clean white t-shirt. "Are you ready to go?"

"Are you sure about this?" I asked for the last time.

"Sure I'm sure." He said lightly, with a wide grin. "Besides, La Push was starting to get a little boring, you know, since you're family hasn't had any new visitors for a few years now." He added lightly.

"Right." I answered bashfully. "Do you have a passport?"

"Oddly enough, yes, I had to go to the Dominican once." He explained as we walked away from the beach.

"The Dominican? Why?" I asked.

"Drugs." He answered flatly.

I stopped in my tracks and turned slowly to look at him, "What?"

He tried to hold back as long as he could, but I could see the wide grin starting to creep across his face before he could continue, "relax Ness, it was actually just a class trip. God you're so serious all the time."

"Jacob, I'm kind of dealing with some serious stuff right now." I grumbled.

"I know that, that's why I'm trying to make it easier on you. I can't stand seeing you so upset."

"Thanks Jake." I said warmly, taking his hand in mine. I was having so many emotions and thoughts coming at me from all sides that I knew multiple mood swings would be inevitable. I would probably drive Jacob crazy by the time this was all over, if it ever would be.

"So, if we can work it into our budget, it would probably be a good idea to get a taxi to the airport." Jacob stated. "I think if we took my car, it would eventually get towed, and security might be a little suspicious of a giant wolf with a passport hanging around the terminal. But you know, those are just my thoughts."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to keep my expression serious, but then burst into laughter at the thought of what he had just said. "Yeah, those are good thoughts, you're probably right." I giggled.

"I mean, we could take a bus too, that's slower, but less expensive and I'm not sure…." He said uncomfortably, rubbing his shoulder nervously.

"Jacob, I have over two thousand dollars cash on me and a platinum credit card that my father pays for, we should be okay I think." I replied, sounding a little more uppity than I meant to.

"Well excuse me, would you rather I called a limo service then?" He mocked.

"Just shut up and call a cab already would you?" I chuckled.

"How come vampires are always rich? I don't get it. Werewolves are always dead broke, why is that?" He asked pulling a cell phone out of his pocket and dialing a series of buttons as we walked in the direction of downtown.

"Vampires don't need to buy groceries and werewolves are always spending all their money on new clothes." I joked.

Jacob laughed a deep throaty laugh at that, it was almost hoarse. I loved the sound of his voice; it was husky and could even be considered gravelly at times. As opposed to the smooth, rich sound of the rest of my family's voice, Jacob's was more raw and real to me. He was the realest person I had ever come across it seemed, and it brought me endless comfort and ease. Just being in his presence put me in a better mood. He was perfect to me.

We took a taxi to the airport in Seattle and made arrangements for our flight out of the country. I half expected to see my parents and Alice waiting for me at the gate, but they were nowhere to be found. I was almost disappointed, but this was what I wanted right? Right, of course it was. Who knows, maybe Carlisle would give me some kind of idea, some deep seeded wisdom that would assure me that I could continue to live in Forks with my family, and Jacob, and my school friends without a care in the world. Maybe this whole excursion would just be an extended vacation to one of the oldest and most beautiful countries in the world and the worst that would happen would be I'd end up grounded for a year. Wouldn't it be nice if that was what happened?

"Renessmee," Jacob's hypnotic voice interrupted my run on thought.

"Hmm?" I asked looking over at him.

"Um, they're boarding now, sweetheart." He informed me bashfully.

"Oh, yeah, okay, right" I stammered, stuffing my hands in my pockets and sidestepping awkwardly. "We should go then."

A look of concern crossed Jacob's face, he nodded slowly and placed his hand on the small of my back and lightly pushed me toward the entrance to the plane. I wasn't ready and he knew it. How could I be ready? I was only seventeen; actually, technically I was only eight. I hadn't spent enough time with my family yet, with my parents. Not enough time with my beautiful mother, so strong and good and my brilliant father, so sensitive and protective. I adored both of them; I wanted them to see everything. I wanted them to them to see me graduate, my first job, my first apartment. I wanted to be walked down the aisle and make them into grandparents. I felt my breath catch in my throat, dammit, I was doing so well; no tears for hours, but there was nothing that Jacob or anyone else could do to stop them from coming now.

I glanced up at Jacob and his dark eyes suddenly looked very sad. We stood in front of the entrance of the plane, we were the last ones in the terminal and the tears would not stop running down my face. Jacob brushed a few away and pulled me close to his side.

"It's going to be ok, I promise." He whispered, "I won't let you forget any of them. We'll come back someday."

More tears squeezed out of the corners of my eyes and I nodded slowly. "I won't let you forget any of them either." I promised.

Jacob gave me a crooked smile, shocking me instantly as to how much he resembled my father at that moment. I nodded again and we turned and headed down the long hallway toward the plane.

The flight seemed ridiculously long, even though I paid extra to ensure we would have no layovers, it still seemed endless. Several minutes in I was already starting to feel the lack of sleep I had gotten catch up with me. I opened my mouth widely in a huge yawn. Jacob turned his head and reacted instantly.

"Oh! Renessmee, I forgot, you haven't got any sleep in like, over sixteen hours, you must be exhausted. Do you want a pillow or something?" Clearly, chivalry was something extraordinarily new to Jacob.

"No, this is fine." I said snaking my arm around his and resting my head against his shoulder. "Unless, you mind, that is."

He chuckled hoarsely, "you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment. As far as I'm concerned you can superglue your face to my shoulder for the rest of your life and I'd be happy."

I giggled and stared up at him, "superglue my face? That's real romantic Jake."

He let out a little embarrassed laugh, "well, I'm sorry that I'm not as well versed as Edward or Jasper. The two of them sound like they just stepped out of a Victorian novel. I can't believe Bella even goes for that sort of shit."

"Ugh, God, I know, they're sickening sometimes." I agreed, rolling my eyes.

"Thank you." Jacob laughed.

"But it works for them I guess." I added.

"Yeah, I suppose. What about you? Does superglue your face to my shoulder work for you?"

"I think it's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me."

"Good. Cuz I could give the whole Victorian thing a try too if that will make you happy." He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at me, "Renessmee, your porcelain skin and auburn hair quicken my soul and are essential to my existence. My love for you is so immense that it would take a thousand planets and cathedrals to contain it." He proclaimed, mimicking my father's voice a little too accurately.

I laughed so hard that my shoulders shook, "I think he may have tried that one on Bella before actually."

"Oh my God, that's horrible."

"I know!" I agreed. There was quiet between us for a few moments and then my curiosity was piqued. "So what does that statement translate into in 'Jacob language'?" I asked.

"Oh that's easy," he went on, "it means, Ness, you're so pretty that my heart stops every time I see you and I love you so much that I don't ever want to spend a single day without you. That's all, simple, to the point and true. That's how I roll." He smirked.

"I like your version better than Edward's. And I'm going to give you the Bella version; ditto."

"Now I can understand that."

"Good, however, I may slip up from time to time and throw in an SAT word here or there. I've had to listen to it all my life you know." I informed.

"That's okay, as long as you throw in an occasional swear word, I'll know it's you." He whispered leaning his head against mine.

"Well, that goes without saying." I said softly.

Jacob lowered his lips to mine and closed his eyes, kissing me gently. I felt my heartbeat quicken and my breathing slow. He pulled away and kissed me again on the forehead this time. "You should get some sleep." He murmured against me. "I'll wake you up when we're almost there, okay?"

"Okay." I whispered back in agreement. The last thing I felt before I completely blacked out was his strong, bare arm curl around my shoulder and the immense heat radiating from it. Having a werewolf for a boyfriend was definitely a good thing.


	12. Chapter 11

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Chapter 11

RPOV

"Renessmee honey, wake up."

I must have been sleeping like the dead, but the moment I heard his voice I woke up instantly.

"What's the matter?" I asked quickly, sitting up.

"The matter? No, nothing's the matter, we're here." Jacob assured me.

I sat up and looked out the window, the sun was shining brightly, nearly blinding me, and I had a sharp pain in the right side of my neck where I had been leaning against Jacob. "We are?" I asked, rubbing my neck, "oh, ow, that hurts." I moaned.

"Tell me about it, my arm's been asleep for hours."

"I'm sorry Jacob, you should have moved me."

"Are you kidding? I was loving it the whole time, and besides, you were comfortable. You needed your rest."

"I guess so, what time is it anyways?" I yawned.

"Nine o'clock in the morning." He yawned back, stretching his freakishly long arms overhead. "We should get going."

I sighed and stood up. I had been to Italy many times, but it was always with my family, I was pretty sure that I could remember how to get to Carlisle's flat from the airport. Even though he didn't associate himself with the Volturi very much these days, many years ago he was very good friends with the head vampire, Aro, and would often visit. He owned a small, modest flat just outside the city limits that he continued to maintain and use every so often, and I knew that was where I would find him.

As if Jacob were reading my mind, as we approached the terminal he suddenly asked, "Ness, where are we going anyways?"

"Carlisle owns property out here; we're going there, to his flat. He and Esme should be there, unless they decide to go out, but it's so sunny today that I doubt that."

"Exactly what city is this flat located in?" Jacob asked hesitantly.

"Volterra." I answered.

"Ness, isn't that where, you know who is?" He asked carefully.

"No, I don't know who Jacob, Lord Voldemort?" I replied sarcastically. Jacob snorted at my Harry Potter reference. Secretly, I knew he was a closet fan. It was one of the few books he would actually read over and over again.

"No, Renessmee, the Volturi, don't they live out here?"

"Yes, but I told you we needn't be concerned with them." I assured him.

"I find that bloody unlikely." He grumbled under his breath.

"Let's just go find Carlisle okay?"

"Fine."

We walked toward the immense glass doors at the front of the airport and I saw Jacob slip a pair of aviator sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. He looked like Eric Estrada from Chips; it was actually kind of sexy. I stared at him in astonishment for a moment, and then I remembered something. My eyes, they were probably still blazing red, the contacts had probably dissolved in my eyes by now like Alice had warned me about.

"Jacob, quick, what color are my eyes?" I blurted out suddenly, stopping him in his tracks.

"Why?" He asked, a little confused.

"Just, please Jacob. What color?"

"Brownish green why?"

"You mean, they're not red?"

"No."

"The contacts must still be in, okay good, make sure and alert me if something looks different okay?" I pleaded.

"Sure, sure. I'll let you know."

I hailed us a taxi and gave the driver directions in almost fluent Italian, surprising myself at how easily the words came. Jacob stared at me in awe as I spoke and laughed a little with the driver. Thank God my family was versed in over thirty languages, I had picked up on some of the more exotic ones, but I had a pretty good grip on my romance languages. Again, I was impressed.

The drive took about half an hour and sure enough, we landed right on the front doorstep of Carlisle's modest little flat, smack dab in the middle of a beautiful grape vineyard. When I say modest, I mean for a Cullen. Carlisle and Esme's house was actually bigger than the one my parents and I lived in in Forks, but smaller than the main house, that was the modest part.

An expensive Italian sports car whose name I can't pronounce was parked in the driveway and I could see that the windows in the house were open. It was such a shame that Carlisle and Esme really couldn't come out in the sunlight, publicly at least, because the weather was absolutely perfect today. The sun was shining with a periwinkle blue sky as the backdrop and a gentle breeze came and went at regular intervals, filling the atmosphere around us with the smell of seawater and fruit.

I let my head drop back and inhaled deeply. I loved my home, but this was such a change from Forks, everything was light and blooming and sun dappled. I exhaled slowly, shutting my eyes and I heard the slightest movement around me as Jacob looked around.

"This is incredible Ness." He whispered. I forgot Jacob had spent his entire life in La Push; he wasn't used to all the sunlight and warmth either. I started to get hot and took off my sweatshirt, letting the linen air dance across my bare arms. I watched Jacob carelessly as he wandered around the grounds. His face was so innocent at that moment, it seemed like he didn't have a care in the world and his eyes gleamed with wonderment as the warm breeze caressed the side of his face.

"I forgot how much I love it here." I said dreamily.

"We have got to go swimming in that." Jacob stated excitedly as he pointed to the crystal clear ocean water at the edge of the grounds.

"I don't know how to swim." I said bashfully.

Jacob whipped his head toward me in surprise and smiled wickedly, "Well, I'll just have to teach you then." He said holding his hand out to me.

I smiled crookedly at him and bashfully took his hand in mine. The breeze picked up a little, blowing my tangled hair in all directions and making Jacob's clean t-shirt wave like a banner, exposing his stomach slightly. "We should talk to Carlisle," I urged, tugging her arm toward the house.

"Okay, but we're not done here."

"Of course not," I replied smiling.

Jacob scooped up both of our bags and threw them onto his should and followed me up the circular wrought iron staircase to the front door on the second level.

I turned the knob on the heavy door and it wouldn't budge, "that's weird, he never locks up. Okay, maybe they're out then." I said furrowing my brow and shaking my head in confusion. I reached underneath the flower pot on the landing and pulled out the spare key.

"A flower pot? Really? I suspected a vampire would have a more original hiding spot for a key." Jacob groaned.

"Carlisle doesn't have many enemies, and besides, would you steal from a vampire?" I asked in a very obvious tone as I wiggled the key in the lock.

"No I suppose not."

We heard a click and immediately the door knob submitted to me. We entered the main foyer of the Tuscan style home and looked around. Carlisle's keys and wallet sat on an end table near the door all the shades were up and the windows open.

"Carlisle?" I called, gesturing for Jacob to drop our bags and follow me. "Carlisle, it's Ness," I continued as I wondered around the house. "Esme? Is anyone here?"

I frowned again and shrugged my shoulders, "I guess nobody's here. That's okay, I'm sure they'll be back soon enough. Let's go unpack. I'll show you to the guest room."

"Renessmee, something doesn't seem right here. He left his car and his keys and his wallet, does he normally do that?"

"I don't know, I suppose. Come on, I'm sure everything is fine, let me show you around."

We spent the entire day in Carlisle's flat waiting for him and Esme to return. I called both of them several times and got no answer. I shrugged it off and tried to enjoy the afternoon. Jacob tried to give me my first swimming lesson and failed miserably, so instead we just hung around the shallow end screwing around and then took a nap on the shore. When we woke up it was dark and we were burnt, or at least I was.

"Can a half vampire girl really get a sunburn?" Jacob asked as he helped smooth some aloe over my back.

"Apparently so." I cringed, "but hopefully I can't get melanoma."

Jacob snorted as he globbed another tablespoon or so of lotion on my shoulders, "You know you really did a number on yourself here dear," he said disapprovingly.

"I'm getting hungry." I complained, completely ignoring his previous statement.

"Me too, what do we have for food around here?" He asked snapping the lid onto the aloe and looking around.

"Probably nothing here, but there are plenty of places to eat out." I said smirking.

We ended up at a little café that served the best gnocchi I had ever tasted. After that, we wondered around for a little while, taking everything in. I was sure that Carlisle and Esme would be home by now, I thought to myself as we climbed up the staircase. To both of our dismay, they still hadn't returned. I began to get worried.

We waited out the night and the entire next day and the night again. By the third day, when Carlisle and Esme had still not returned I decided that we would have to go into the city and speak to the last group of people that had seen my grandparents; The Volturi.

"No way Ness, that is a very bad idea, we are not going to see the Volturi." Jacob said at breakfast that morning.

"Jacob, as far as I know, my grandparents are missing. We need to find out where they are."

"I think we should call Edward and Bella." Jacob said throwing up his hands in defense. "I'm surprised they haven't called us yet actually."

"They haven't called because I threw out my cell phone." I said quietly into my cereal.

"Why did you do that?" Jacob asked, setting down his glass of juice.

"So they couldn't contact me."

"Well, why haven't they called me then?" He asked.

"I sort of, ditched your cell phone too." I answered sheepishly, sinking into my chair a little.

"Are you serious? What if my dad calls Ness?"

"Yeah I thought of that later on."

"I wish you hadn't done that." He said crossly.

"Sorry." I shrugged.

"I don't think we should go to the Volturi." He grumbled, taking a spoonful of banana.

"Well, then you stay here, I'm going. I have to find out what's going on. They won't hurt me."

"You're so certain of that?"

"Jacob, they could have killed me years ago." I said angrily. I saw Jacob wince slightly at the memory of that day shortly after my birth, where my parents had to prove to the Volturi that I wasn't a threat to their kind. "Besides, I just want to ask them a few questions, they're not evil, they're just different, they're politicians really."

"Well Ness, I have a few questions about things myself but you don't see me strolling into Washington and knocking on the President's door do you?" He asked sarcastically.

"Maybe you should." I joked.

Jacob glowered at me and I immediately knew that now was not the time for jokes. He was legitimately frightened of the Volturi. As long as I had known Jacob he hadn't been afraid of anything. I began to feel sorry for bringing him into any of this.

"There's a very good reason why I haven't," he replied, "because even though President Obama has no qualms with me, his secret service agents who have no idea who I am might. They would shoot me on sight and the same thing could happen to you Ness. They don't know who you are, they're not going to recognize you as Renessmee Cullen, they are going to either see A, a vampire that may be a threat to them or B, a meal. My theory is option B."

"I think you're overreacting." I argued taking on more of my mother's personality than I ever had before. If my father were here he'd probably be patting Jacob on the back for being such an overprotective, overcautious nuisance, similar to how he himself would react. I'd have to tell him about this sometime if I ever saw him again, he'd probably get a kick out of it.

"I'm going." I said flatly, rising from the table and carrying my dish to the sink.

"Renessmee," Jacob said sadly, taking my wrist gently in his enormous hand. " pleeeease, don't do this, I have a bad feeling about this." His eyes glistened slightly as he peered down at me, as if he were about to cry.

"Jacob," I whispered, softening my expression and laying a hand against his face, "they're my family, even if eventually I'll have distanced myself from them, if something's wrong, I need to do what I can to help them. I love you, more than anything, but I need to do this, please Jacob."

He said nothing; his expression was wounded and needy. I leaned up and kissed his forehead and he kissed my wrist back. "I need to go get changed now," I said, smiling weakly. With that he released my arm and I turned and headed toward my bedroom.


	13. Chapter 12

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update this story, I got really busy and it takes me a little longer to write in Renessmee's perspective because I'm still not quite used to her yet! Hope the next few chapters are to everyone's liking. Please read and review and thanks again for all of the support!

Chapter 12

RPOV

I knew Jacob wouldn't let me go by myself. Now that we were almost to the tower of the Volturi, all of the gumption and courageous words that I had been spewing out in the kitchen over breakfast had left me. Now I was afraid. Even though the sun was shining and the climate was perfect and we were surrounded by seemingly harmless swarms of Italians and tourists, the tower looked extremely dark and menacing.

I stared up at it and felt my hands begin to get clammy, a lump the size of a softball was creeping up my throat and I suddenly wanted my father. I'd even settle for my mother at this point, she could even make me feel safer than I did right now. Not that I didn't love her or feel protected by my mother, but my father was like a well trained police dog, controlled when need be, but ready to attack and destroy at a moment's notice without batting an eye.

And then, _my_ police dog, my real police dog appeared; Jacob stood protectively in front of me, his senses clearly piqued and on edge, if he were in wolf form his hackles would have been up. "How do we get in?" He asked in a gruff voice.

"Over there." I said pointing down an alleyway.

"How do you know that? There's no door."

"Because we go in through the sewer."

"Seriously?" Jacob asked.

"Seriously." I stated.

"Last chance, we could go back now, buy a cell phone and call your parents."

"We're going." I was determined to get answers. If anyone would know about the whereabouts of my grandparents, the Volturi would, they knew everything. I felt a chill go up my spine at the unease of that statement.

I was horrified now; my anxiety had bloomed into full blown terror at this point as I moved along slowly toward the alleyway. Alice used to tell me stories about how my mother rescued my father from this very alley many years ago. She had a way of turning the most troubling of stories into mythological odysseys of great valor and love between my parents. The escape from Italy became one of my favorites when I was young and my greatest trouble in life was falling asleep at night. No one could put my mind more at ease in that department than Alice could. Sometimes Jasper even joined in on the storytelling. The two of them teamed up and told a bedtime story like nobody's business. They would have made such good parents, I thought sadly to myself as I wished for the billionth time that I was home.

Jacob walked ahead of me down the deep alleyway, making his way cautiously to the sewer grate on the ground. He knelt down beside it and pulled it up with ease, not making a sound.

"Oh my God, it reeks like bloodsucker down there, ugh, that's disgusting! Tell me Ness, the older they get, does their smell actually get worse? I mean, I've smelt vampires before, but this, this is an abomination."

"Jacob!" I hissed, hurrying over to him, "I don't know about the smell, but I do know their senses become more intense the older they get, so keep your voice down!" I said rapidly, showing more worry on my face than I intended to.

Jacob didn't miss a beat, he knew that I was frightened, that possibly his prediction that this wouldn't be a friendly reunion was right. "I thought you said they were no problem, that they're not a threat, they're politicians you said…"

"They are, I mean, its fine…" I hesitated, why try to continue to hide my feelings? He already knew.

"Maybe I should phase." Jacob suggested.

"No, No! Then they'll definitely attack, let's just, let's just go in there. Okay?"

Before I could make a move, Jacob scooted down the manhole in the street down into the tunnel, landing soundlessly underground. I followed suite, landing bride style in his arms. He set me down on the uneven stones underfoot, urging me to be careful where I stepped.

I went ahead of him, groping my way through the damp darkness. It was freezing down here, I thought to myself; I pulled my sleeves down over my hands and rubbed my forearms.

"Here, allow me." Jacob urged in response to my discomfort, chivalrously putting his arm around me. I felt the warmth radiating off of him, and it instantly made things easier.

We followed the hallway for what seemed like a never-ending amount of time, then finally, we reached the end of the tunnel and entered a more civilized, waiting room style room.

"Can I help you?" A young blond woman behind the desk asked.

"Um, yes, I'm Renessmee Cullen," I said, my voice cracking horribly, "My grandfather Carlisle is a friend of Aro's. He's missing and I think Aro may have been the last one who saw him and my grandmother, Esme Cullen." I wasn't sure why I felt the need to divulge all that information to her.

The girl behind the counter stared at me in confusion, trying to put together what I had just blurted out, a little more rudely than I had intended. Then she glanced at the giant, nearly seven foot tall, russet Jacob standing close beside me. Her eyes widened at the pure massiveness of him, and then a very suggestive smile crossed her face, putting me beyond annoyance.

"And you are?" She asked, looking up playfully at him. Jacob smiled a bashful grin, exposing all of his brilliant white teeth.

"This is Jacob Black, he's with me." I said tightly slipping my arm around his.

"Are you, are you, a werewolf?" She asked with awe. Jacob laughed nervously and averted his eyes away to a painting on the wall.

"What does it matter?" I challenged, "He's with me, I just want to speak to Aro, it will only take a moment. He can stay out here with you if you don't trust me." At that comment I sensed Jacob throw me an incredulous glance.

"Hang on one moment; I need to call this in." The secretary answered acidly. She picked up the receiver and pressed a few buttons and began speaking to someone on the other end. "A Renessmee Cullen here to speak with Aro, she's Carlisle Cullen's granddaughter. No, she's not alone, she's with a werewolf, I think. I don't know, hold on." She placed her palm over the receiver and whispered to me, "Is there anyone else here with you?"

"No, nobody." I answered.

"She's says there's nobody else with her. Is he sure? Alright then, thanks." She hung up the phone and in a very business tone said, "Aro will see you both now."

"Thanks." I said, confused, what did she mean by both of us?

"Down the hall and to the left." The receptionist directed, pointing ahead of her uninterested.

"Thank you." Jacob added in his husky voice as we headed down the hallway. The girl responded with a smile and a sexy 'sure'.

I went to turn the doorknob of the heavy oak door, but it opened before I could even raise a hand to do so.

"Ah Miss Cullen, please come in!" A reedy, pleasant voice crowed as I stood on the threshold. "And you brought a friend, please, both of you come in." I glanced up at Jacob, his mouth was pulled down in a narrow line and his eyes were very dark, he gave me a curt nod and we both entered the room carefully.

The moment we entered, two large pale skinned guards were at either side of us, focused on Jacob mostly. I gasped out loud as he pushed me behind him defensively.

"Felix, Demetri, there's no need for that," the reedy voice assured the two ancient vampires at our sides. "The Cullens are friends of ours, and any _friend_ of the Cullens is to be met with the same respect. I'm so sorry Renessmee and friend Jacob, Felix and Demetri have trust issues."

"Master, he's a werewolf; he's an enemy to all of our kind." The one called Demetri growled.

"He is not in wolf form, therefore he poses no threat." Aro cooed at his bodyguard.

I watched Jacob closely, he didn't start to quiver like he usually did when he was upset, he was handling himself quite well considering the circumstances. I saw his jaw tighten in anger and his bare forearms flex slightly as he curled his hand around my waist.

The two guards finally backed off completely and went to stand beside Aro, he didn't stay by their side long, he instead moved toward Jacob and me. It was eerie how he moved, I had always seen how lithe and graceful my family was when they moved, Carlisle and my father especially, but Aro, Aro seemed to move without moving. He seemed to almost float over to us, like some unearthly haunt. The room we were in was silent as the grave and you could hear the distinct sound of Aro's long robe dragging across the floor. It sounded like a serpent making its' way toward us. I felt my palms grow clammy and Jacob tighten his hold on me even more. He was right; it had been a very bad idea to come here.

"As I live and breathe," Aro exclaimed joyfully, pressing his thin, translucent hands together. "You have grown exceptionally quickly since last I saw you, and beautiful," he whispered.

"Th, thank you." I squeaked, clearing my throat in the process.

Aro reached toward my face and with the gentleness of a summer breeze took a few strands of my hair and ran it through his fingers, "exquisite," he breathed, "and your smell, do you mind if I…"

"That's enough." Jacob snarled slapping Aro's hand away.

"Jake!" I hissed. This was no way to get the information I wanted, that I _needed_ from Aro. As far as I was concerned he could lick my face and put on my dress if it would make him tell me where Carlisle and Esme were.

I held my breath and waited for Aro's reaction toward Jacob. Laughter was not my first guess as to how he would respond, but sure enough, it was.

"You're absolutely right Jacob that was very inappropriate of me. You're very protective of her aren't you? I certainly can see why, she is a gem of sorts." Aro chuckled softly, smiling warmly at me. "Now, why is it you have come all the way from North America to visit us? And where is the rest of your family? I do love visitors."

"Aro," I said quietly, twirling a ring I had on my hand around my finger nervously "I'm here on behalf of my grandfather, Carlisle," I started.

"Oh," Aro's gaunt, papery face dropped suddenly and became solemn, "I am very sorry about that."

"Sorry about what?" I asked in confusion, "no, what? I was here because, he's gone missing and I know he had come out here with my grandmother, Esme, and they were helping you with some kind of situation, I was just wondering if you had heard anything from him, I'm very worried." I continued on ignorantly, twitching my foot nervously.

I heard a short, quick, laugh from the one I assumed was Demetri, Aro listened to me babble on with silent reverence, appearing to be listening to each word I said very closely. Jacob's face remained hard as he too, observed Aro, and then I saw a look of sadness touch his eyes. "Oh no," he muttered under his breath.

"What?" I asked innocently, glancing toward Jacob.

"Oh my child, I'm so sorry," Aro murmured sympathetically, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," I suddenly realized what was happening. Aro spoke the next five words so cautiously that it was almost as if they were made of blown glass and libel to shatter if spoken too loudly, "your grandfather Carlisle is dead."

"What?" I whispered, horrified; that was it, that was the blow, the blow that would do me in for good. The room started to spin; my knees began to buckle, how much could one person take? How much could I be expected to deal with before I cracked beyond repair? How much could my family, oh my God my father, my poor father, I thought to myself. Nausea swept over me and I bent over and put my head between my legs to stop myself from vomiting. I grabbed the back of my legs and crumpled onto the floor, sobs bursting from my rapidly constricting chest.

I felt warmth; I felt heavy, warm, soft arms around me as I slowly went into hysterics. I heard subdued sounds of alarm escape from Aro as he watched this teenaged, half-breed runaway practically seizuring on the floor of his castle in Italy.

"Oh my God, oh my God, Carlisle's dead!" I moaned. "My father, my poor father, and Esme, oh God, oh God!" Those were the last discernable words I could hear coming from me before the weeping and the sobbing took over. It was too much; too much death, too much loss, too much sadness, too much for a lifetime, let alone four days.

"Renessmee, honey, its okay, its okay, please don't cry, I'm right here, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Jacob's words were always such a comfort to me, but not right now, at this moment, nothing could comfort me.

"I'm sorry friend Jacob; I did not know that she was not made aware of this earlier." Aro purred.

"What the hell is the matter with you bloodsuckers?" Jacob snapped, I weakly put a hand on his chest between cries to try and stop him from running his mouth, but it was pointless. "In the human world we have something called feelings and we tend not to hurt the ones we love."

"My apologies, I was under the impression that Esme had called home."

"We haven't been home for four days," Jacob muttered, "Ness, Ness, it's going to be alright." he said gently, holding me against him. I couldn't stop; I wrapped my arms around him and climbed into his lap, burying my face so hard against his shoulder that I thought I would break it. "Oh Ness, I hate seeing you like this sweetheart, please, it's going to be alright." He assured me, I could hear the tears and apprehension in his voice as he held me.

"Where have you been for all this time? Away from your home, away from your family, I'm afraid I don't understand." Aro continued, I knew that Jacob was getting frustrated.

"Ness, Aro wants to know what's going on, can you use your gift?" Jacob asked gently.

"I can, try," I gasped as the sobs quieted down slightly.

"Okay honey, okay, why don't you try?" Jacob cooed, I held my hand out and continued to burrow my head further into his clavicle, I think I felt him wince at one point. "Well, do you want to know or not?" He growled at Aro.

I instantly felt the iciest hand I have ever felt take my outreached palm and raise it to his face. His skin was soft and worn, like old leather, but pleasant, and the glacial temperature coming from the ancient one was so cold that it almost burned me. It was easy to show Aro everything I had seen for the past few days because my emotions were so distraught and scattered that I could invest no energy in filtering what I saw, it just flew out, like a floodgate, worse than that, like mental diarrhea. Everything went black after that as I heard Jacob's warm voice grow faint and I slumped onto the floor.


	14. Chapter 13

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Chapter 13

RPOV

I awoke in an office littered with antiques and paintings lying on a massive leather sofa, Jacob and Aro beside me.

"Oh child, thank goodness you're awake, you gave everyone quite a scare back there, especially your friend here," he said gesturing toward a concerned and solemn Jacob. "Or should I say, your mate."

I sat up slightly and tried to regain focus as I looked around, "Ness, are you alright?" Jacob whispered.

"Yeah," I croaked, "considering." I said rubbing my head, "I'm sorry Jacob, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"That's okay Ness, I'm just glad you didn't hit your head or anything, wounds like that tend to bleed a lot," he growled, throwing a sharp, defensive glance Aro's way. He looked back over at me and whispered, "You know, this isn't exactly the best place for you to be having a panic attack and passing out." His expression was worried and on edge, but he managed to smile at me anyways. I had never seen Jacob be afraid of anyone, but it seemed like Aro's presence made him uneasy. I couldn't say that I blamed him, he was a little unnerving, and I didn't trust him.

"We mean no harm to you or Renessmee, in fact, what I saw through your eyes was very interesting, it makes me curious to find out more about you. Your emotions, your feelings when you found that boy, and looking through your parents' things, fascinating, they try so hard to be human…Bella alone, is an enigma unto herself…" He continued, my stomach twisted at the thought of him having seen my most private thoughts and memories about my parents, my childhood, and our home, I immediately regretted letting him in.

"Mmmmyy, my grandfather, Carlisle," I stammered, changing the subject, "please, what happened to him?" I pleaded, fresh tears coating the surface of my stained eyes.

"Carlisle was a great man, I have always admired his kindness, his open mindedness," Aro started, his glassy eyes boring a hole through me, I felt Jacob reach over and stroke my shoulder in support. "However, this time, his greatest assets got the best of him and he paid for it with his life. He had come to my aid to help with a small coven of vampires that he knew that were causing quite a mess for us; Flaunting their powers, not disposing of their prey accordingly," Jacob seethed at his crude words and I saw his jaw tighten in anger. Aro ignored him and continued, "In any case, Carlisle pleaded with me to let him intervene, that there was a logical explanation as to why they were behaving in such a mutinous way. After much deliberation, I agreed to his request and as he was trying to compromise with one of them, he was taken down by another larger, much more skilled coven member, when he went to fight back, another joined in and sadly, my friend Carlisle was outnumbered."

"Where was Esme?" I asked, trying to hold myself together.

"She had stayed behind, thinking that it would not take such a turn."

"Where was the Volturi? Why weren't you doing your job?!" I accused flippantly.

"My dear girl, we tried, but Carlisle insisted that he go alone, he thinks that some of our practices are a bit barbaric, unfair even, so he requested to try on his own. I daresay it was very foolish of him." Aro said disapprovingly clicking his tongue.

"I can't believe this." I whispered, lowering my face into my hands. Jacob quickly put his arms around me, in more of a protective gesture than a loving one.

"What will you do now? You don't have a coven leader." Aro asked innocently in his papery voice.

"That's not up to me, I'm not going back." I stated bitterly as I looked up at him. A dark shadow seemed to cross his face at that moment but his eyes remained serene and patient. He was hypnotizing to look at. Not beautiful like my family or like Jacob, but other worldly, ancient and deep, and I couldn't help but look to him now for advice, as much as my intuition told me not to.

"Where are you planning on going? Your life can never be the same now, there are other parts of your nature to explore, that is quite evident now." He stated.

Jacob stood now, hovering over me, hulking really. I felt so small and broken beside him. I was bringing nothing to this relationship it seemed, nothing but trouble and sadness, and yet here he was, devoted to me. I knew we should leave, I knew they would not harm us; they had no reason to, yet. But, even though every part of my being and my core told me to take Jacob's hand and lead him out of this desolate place and back home to Washington, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"What do you suggest?" I asked slowly.

"Perhaps you might leave us for a moment, friend Jacob?" Aro purred.

"I'm not moving an inch." Jacob stated sternly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No!" I snarled, curling my arm around his waist, "Jacob stays."

"As you wish." Aro said lightly. He floated across the room and seated himself gracefully behind a wooden desk. For the first time since I had woken, I realized his bodyguards were nowhere to be found.

"Renessmee, you are aware of what the Volturi do aren't you?" He asked politely, leaning forward and clasping his bony hands together.

"Yes, to a degree, I think I understand." I said, tightening my grip around Jacob.

"Our main purpose is to keep the existence of vampires a secret. In a way, we regulate our populations and protect the human race to a degree." He declared, Jacob let out a bitter snort at that statement. "Is there something you would like to say Jacob?" Aro asked, shooting a look of disdain toward him.

"_We_ protect the humans," Jacob sneered pointing hard at his chest, "_you_ eat them."

"We do what we need to do to sustain ourselves."

"Then why not hunt animals, like my family?" I asked accusingly, regaining back some of my courage.

"Renesmee, the harsh reality of our existence is that we essentially are self indulgent monsters. Quite honestly, animals are more intelligent than most humans; they haven't lost their sense of instinct and survival. Essentially, it's easier to hunt and kill a human than say, a deer."

"But that's why you have strength and speed and heightened senses." I explained, "if humans are so easy, then all of that is overkill, it makes more sense that vampires have evolved over the centuries so that they can go for the more difficult prey, which as you just stated is an animal. Hunting humans seems almost, lazy and unnecessary." I stated boldly, Jacob smirked.

Aro let out a lighthearted laugh, "fascinating, you fascinate me to no end Miss Cullen. While all that you said is true, it is plain fact that human blood makes us the strongest so therefore, we could argue that evolution has ultimately doomed the human to become our prey. But that is just evolutionary theory, we could argue many other points, but you have to understand that your family is quite unique. If your father had never met Carlisle and been shown the way, he would have a body count of thousands surrounding him, much like your uncle, Jasper. Perhaps your aunt, Alice, and even your mother…"

"That's out of line!" Jacob snarled, stepping toward Aro.

"It's the truth." Aro answered, holding his hands up casually.

"No it's not! My father would never murder anyone, whether or not he was shown otherwise! He's a good man! And Alice, Alice decided on her own that she didn't want to take people's lives."

"Because she had the gift of sight, she could see that there was another way." Aro argued, "And as for your father, I've seen his mind, he has killed many an innocent and he enjoyed it quite a bit. Young Edward is a much darker man than you imagine." He said with a small smile.

"Don't listen to him Ness, he's trying to turn you against them, he wants you to join him." Jacob warned.

"Is that what you're trying to do?" I asked angrily.

"My dear girl, I assure you that I am only discussing the truth. The fact is, vampires enjoy human blood, we enjoy the power we have, even when we deny it, there is a small part of us that will always crave it, no matter how civilized we may seem. We are monsters. You of all people can sympathize, I know, I saw your true nature. Your parents have preened you to be human, but there is more of your father in you than you can imagine, you are very nearly the same person with the same thoughts, the same wants, the same needs, the same weaknesses. I would be more than pleased if you chose to stay here with us and join our little family. I expect nothing of you but to be true to your nature, that's it. "

"My father was human once, I embrace that part of him, my mother too, all of them, they were all human once and me, I am human, just a little different." I said with more confidence than I had ever had before. Aro was wrong, there was more to life than just blood and power. All the important things; love, kindness, loyalty, bravery, patience, all of those were human emotions and those things to me were the most prominent things in life, the most prominent things about my personality. In Forks, in my mind, I was surrounded by humans; out here I was surrounded by vampires.

"You are absolutely right, but that being said, you are still not planning on going back are you?" Aro asked.

Tears filled my eyes and my voice trembled, "no." I whispered.

"You can join us." Aro suggested.

Jacob for the first time had nothing to say, and I could feel the fear rolling off of him in waves. I wanted to tell him it would be fine, that we were in no danger, but I knew he wouldn't believe me.

"And do what?" I asked out of sheer curiosity.

"Record our proceedings of course. You would be free to live your life whatever way you please, we can certainly provide for either lifestyle you choose," he added. "You would be expected to join us on each occasion in which we had to intercede and just watch. Then, you could use your remarkable gift to report back to our record keeper. It would eliminate a great deal of effort and confusion on our part and would benefit us immensely."

"I wouldn't have to kill anyone?"

"No."

"I wouldn't have to hunt, drink blood, or live in this castle?" I asked, gesturing around the room.

"No."

"What about Jacob?"

"Renessmee," he hissed, "I can't believe you'd even consider this!"

"Jacob, where else am I going to go? Maybe I could make a difference, Carlisle believed in them, maybe you and I…"

"No Renessmee, No! You know I'll go anywhere you are, but, this, this is bad, this has nothing but disaster written all over it. He just tried to pin you against your father! He's devious and cruel! We need to get out of here immediately! This is not safe!"

"Jacob," Aro called, "you wolves call yourselves protectors, perhaps you could convince some of your pack members to join. An alliance between werewolves and vampires, internationally, not just locally. Together we can all work to keep our secrets and the humans you all adore so much protected."

Aro was quite the charmer, he had just appealed to Jacob's main purpose now, to rid the world of vampires and protect the innocent. Jacob stared at me intently, his eyes dark and meaningful. I didn't know what else to do; I didn't know where to go. I didn't fit in with anybody it seemed, clearly not with other humans and now I didn't even fit in with my family, the vegetarians. I had killed someone, and I knew it was going to get worse; it had taken four days for that boy's blood to completely leave my system and for my eyes to return to their regular color. However, now what I feared most was making itself evident and I didn't have the courage to tell Jacob; I wanted more blood. I needed more blood, and the need was almost as strong as the need I had to be by Jacob's side. The blood lust was actually rivaling Jacob right now, but I could still control it. My mouth felt dry and chalky, I felt an uncomfortable thirst in my throat and on my lips. Aro continued to try to persuade Jacob to join the Volturi, assuring him that no harm would come to either of us, tempting him with the idea that once he joined he would play an active role in disciplining the offenders; specifically the ones who caused harm to humans. Aro's words were becoming more and more distant and I was beginning to hear the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. I needed to leave and regain my resolve, I needed to digest everything that had just been said to us, I needed to mourn the loss of my grandfather and consider for the first time since this had all begun, calling my parents.

"Aro," I said as calmly as I could muster, "may Jacob and I have some time to consider your offer? You've given us quite a lot to digest in one day, and since we are together, all decisions between us must be reached on a united front. Would that at all be possible?" I asked sweetly, flashing my most persuasive smile.

Jacob stared at me in amazement; there weren't many times where he had seen my more charming side. Charming was not me at all, most of the time I was casual and awkward, but this was a precarious situation for both of us.

Aro looked thoughtful for a moment or two; he silently pondered my request and then looked at me quizzically. I knew he would agree, he wanted me too much, my powers intrigued him. As did my father's and my mother's, maybe he thought that if he could recruit me he could do the same for them. He even seemed to be interested to see what Jacob could offer as well. In this situation, it was starting to look like I may have the upper hand for a change.

"Certainly my dear. Take some time to discuss our offer with your mate, but don't wait too long, I get so impatient at times."

"Give us a day or so, we won't deliberate too long, that would be extremely discourteous." I said calmly.

Aro smiled and shook his head from side to side, "ah, you remind me so much of Edward, it's uncanny really."

"I've heard that once or twice before." I replied with a smile.

"Excellent then!" Aro chirped, pressing his hands together, "You will consider us then won't you?"

"Of course. I thank you very much." I answered.

We exchanged formalities once or twice more and then Jacob and I swiftly made our way out of the Volturi lair and back to the flat. Once we had left Aro, I felt like a haze had lifted. Had I really just considered joining the Volturi? I knew that they were to be respected and feared, but joining them? I didn't think I would ever take it that far. I felt like I had been under a spell in that short time we spent with Aro. I didn't like it, and yet I had remained so calm once I had regained consciousness. Could it be I was playing along with Aro's game knowingly because I felt like we were in danger? Possibly, but Jacob didn't know that. I knew that I was in for an argument, I could tell by the body language Jacob was presenting me with. I was sure he was furious with me, but I convinced myself that I needed to play it up like I was interested in Aro's offer to get us out of there. I hoped he would understand when I explained that to him.

We had traveled via cab and Jacob had been silent the entire time. When we finally arrived at the flat I had to speak, "Jacob, I'm so sorry about all of that, I just, I had to make him feel like we were interested in order to get us out of there, I…"

"Wait a minute, you weren't serious about that?" He asked, confused.

"No, of course not, why?"

"I don't know Ness; maybe they're not so bad. I mean, we'd be set financially and shelter wise, we'd be out of Forks and we could be together and have a life together and they wouldn't give us any trouble."

. stunned. Jacob Black, who had sworn up and down that the Volturi were unsafe, distrustful, evil, was now campaigning for them? He wanted to, join them?

"Jake, what are you talking about?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows together.

"Well, you're bent on staying away from Washington, these 'people'" Jacob said, making quotations with his fingers, "they already know about you, about your family, about the wolves and they won't hurt us. They want our help. It could work."

He lumbered behind me as I climbed the iron staircase to the flat, I was incredulous. I was speechless, and I was still thirsty. Carlisle was dead, I didn't know where Esme was, I needed quiet for a minute. I rolled my eyes as I went to turn the doorknob. Suddenly Jacob's hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, just as I was about to turn the key.

"What is it?" I whispered, suddenly breathless.

"Wait." He whispered tensely, "there's someone inside, a vampire, get behind me."

I sucked in my breath and waited anxiously as Jacob went ahead of me and turned the knob. He stood protectively in front of me and gestured with his hand to follow him. I stayed practically on top of him, who was here? Was it Esme? Was it one of the Volturi? What about the vampire that killed Carlisle? I couldn't remember if Aro had said he had been caught or not. All of my muscles tensed into a ball as I scanned the house frantically. We walked through the kitchen and living room, past the study and into the dining room. I let out a little gasp when I saw what was waiting for me, seated cross legged on the table with a smoldering look on their face. This was going to be bad.


	15. Chapter 14

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Chapter 14

RPOV

His irises were black and sorrowful, the deep purple bruises underneath his eyes looked like a stain on his perfect face and he looked paler than I had ever seen him; if that were even possible. He wore dark jeans and a simple black t-shirt; the lack of interest in his appearance meant to me that he was depressed and I immediately felt like the biggest asshole on the planet.

"Dad," I choked as a knot curled itself securely in my stomach.

He said nothing to me, his expression was deadpan as he stared at me, then very slowly, at a human's pace, Edward unfolded his long legs from beneath him and lowered them to the floor rising slowly to his feet. He opened his mouth to say something and before the words could escape him I had bolted across the room to him and wrapped my arms around his freezing cold waist. He received me tightly and buried his face in my hair.

"Renessmee." He whispered, his voice trembling slightly. I felt him kiss the top of my head a dozen times and I just buried my face further and further into his chest, taking in his familiar scent.

"Dad, I'm so sorry, we went to find Carlisle and we found out he's dead, and, I'm so sorry dad."

"I know love, I know." He said quietly.

"Where's Esme?"

"She's home, with us."

And then it suddenly seemed to sink in why he was here and our reunion took a turn. My father abruptly took me by the shoulders and pushed me away from him; I felt like I had just been shot by someone.

"Do you have any idea what you've put us through by taking off like this? Your mother's beside herself, Alice can't see Jacob," he said shooting a glance in Jacob's direction. "She feels guilty and I am trying to keep everyone calm, I'm, I'm on the verge of collapse Renessmee, this was very irresponsible of you."

"Dad, I'm…" I started,

"Sorry? Not good enough this time Renessmee, you know better than this." He snapped at me.

"Dad, I'm seventeen years old, you and mom pulled worse stunts than this when you were my age!" I shouted at him.

He looked infuriated, a wild look flashed across his contorted face for a brief second making it one of the rare instances in which my father actually looked like a vampire. "First of all, you are _eight_ years old, and your mother and I have nothing to do with this. Besides, those were very unique circumstances."

"Right dad, and you're like a thousand years old and you thought running off to Italy to kill yourself was a great idea at the time, _you_ should have known better…I'm still young and entitled to fu…" I didn't get to finish my statement, he knew what I was going to say and cut me off at the pass.

"Watch your mouth young lady; I didn't raise you to speak like a common thug!"

"Hey, Edward, lay off of her, she's had a hard few days, it's a miracle she can even function." Jacob defended tensely.

My father stared hard at Jacob and then strode over to him fiercely, "you listen to me," he said lowering his voice to a frighteningly cool and even tone, "the only reason I haven't broken your legs yet is because Renessmee is alive and in one piece." Jacob stuck his chin out defiantly, he was huge next to Edward, but it didn't matter, everybody knew that the more quiet and controlled my father's voice became, the more terrifying he was. "You forget that Bella and I love her as much as you do. You have no idea the horrible thoughts that went through both of our heads for the last four days. I understand that she is going through a very difficult time right now, but until you become a parent, until you think that your child may be lying in a ditch dead somewhere, you have no right to lay judgments upon me. Do you understand that Jacob Black?" He said sharply accentuating the ck in 'Black'.

I knew Jacob had to be biting his tongue so hard at this point that it was probably bleeding. His mouth was in a tight line and his fists balled up at his side. I even think I saw his body start to shudder a little, like he was going to phase. Jacob had changed the way he saw my father considerably over the last few years, but it was a known fact that they would never be friends. Everyone meaningful in his life was always connected to Edward in some way and it bothered him. I waited tensely as the two of them had a mini stare down and then finally, Jacob gave in and nodded curtly.

"Let's go, get your things, we're leaving." My father commanded, looking back at me.

There was nothing I wanted more than to go back to Washington with him, see my mother and Esme, and mourn Carlisle properly with the rest of my family. I wanted to see Charlie, and my school friends. I longed for the rain and the green of the forest around our house. But, the thirst that was becoming stronger each second told me that all those things I wanted to do at that moment were never going to be possible ever again. My life had changed forever, I was no longer a half-breed, I was becoming a vampire, a traditional vampire, a vampire that wanted human blood. I wasn't good enough for my family anymore. How do you say that to your father? How do explain that to your mother; a being that was so human it was earth shattering. A being that had never tasted human blood, I was several years younger than my mother and I was already more experienced than her in the monster department. What if I went after Charlie? I loved everyone too much to burden them with my condition. I would never go back to Forks. I wouldn't even keep in contact with any of them, I would be like a ghost, a memory; they had to forget me someday.

"No." I said almost inaudibly.

"What?" My father asked, "Renesmee what are you talking about?"

"I'm not going home dad, ever again. I can't."

All the ferocity and pain that had exploded out of him only minutes ago drained from his face. He stood in front of me and laid his cool hands on either side of my face. "Why?" he asked, his voice intense.

I looked away from him and to the side, blinking away a few stray tears. "Renessmee," he said sternly, turning my face back to look him in the eye, "why?"

"Because," I started, my eyes rolling around, averted from him. "Because, I…" and then I knew exactly what to say. I brought my hands up to his, grabbing his wrists, and pulled his hands carelessly off my face. "Because I've joined Aro and the Volturi."I answered firmly, cruelly.

My father's face dropped and he looked as if he were about to vomit. "No." He said shaking his head, "No, you can't, they'll kill you."

"No they won't. I'm too valuable to them; they want me to use my gift." I said nastily, raising an eyebrow.

"Renessmee, they're crooked and false, they'll change you."

"I'm already changing dad." I stated flatly. "I don't want to come home. Jacob can go with you if he wants, but I'm staying."

"I go where you go." Jacob said easily.

My father was silent, even though his eyes were dark, I saw some kind of spark shoot up in his irises as he looked over at Jake. "You see that you do Jacob Black." He growled. And then it was over, I'd like to say that I expected a fight from my father, but he was far from irrational, emotional yes, but irrational no. He wouldn't fight me anymore now that he knew my decision was made. I would probably never hear from him again, but isn't that what I wanted?

I held my breath as he walked over to me and kissed my forehead, running his thumb across my cheek like he had so many times before. "Please take care of yourself. You carry half of mine and your mother's heart always. "He turned and started to walk away from me, never faltering in elegance or grace once.

"Dad," I started, my voice cracking, all of my defensive, angry charade dissolving. He held up his hand to quiet me, and I hurried into his arms again. He squeezed me back so hard that I thought my ribs would break, and then all too quickly he released me and unlocked my arms from around him. I felt like I was dying.

"I'll tell your mother that I couldn't find you. Goodbye Renessmee." And with that the faint spark that had been in his eye was gone and I felt like he was dying.

"You see to it that you take care of her always." He said, glancing over at Jacob as he went for the door.

"With my life." Jacob said quietly, putting his arms around me protectively.

"Thank you Jacob." He replied hoarsely. Then my father was gone, so quickly and quietly it was as if he were never there to begin with.

I turned my body toward Jacob and clung to him. I didn't want him to let me go ever. He truly was everything to me now; the last scrap of support and kindness and unconditional love that I hadn't lost yet. I would cling to him endlessly, and fortunately for me, that seemed to be alright with him. At least it was for now.


	16. Chapter 15

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Sorry it's taken so long to post! Hope you like the next two!

Chapter 15

I had to hold on to a piece of furniture to keep myself from either falling to the floor or running after my father, even though I knew that he was long gone by now; probably running to the nearest airport. I thought about him returning home to my mother empty handed, like he had failed. I knew that he would blame himself for this, for my leaving, for my joining the Volturi, for my attacking that boy, he would always blame himself. I frowned angrily as I thought about what a martyr he could be sometimes, but as much as I wanted to get frustrated with him, I couldn't, because he truly believed that any hardship my mother or I faced was always his fault. My frown dissolved and was replaced with more sobs.

"Renessmee, honey, its okay, please…" Jacob said dashing over to me, he deserved a stiff drink after all that I'd put him through this week.

"Do you still want to be with me?" I stammered between tears as he rocked me gently against his broad chest.

"Of course honey, of course. I could never leave you, never. You're everything to me." He whispered against my ear, brushing my hair away from my sweaty face.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess, you know I'm not usually like this."

"Well, considering what you've been through in the last few days I think you're holding up pretty well." He said softly, his voice deep and hypnotic.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered into his neck.

"Don't be."

I was quiet for a few moments, trying to compose myself. Finally the tears and the sobs subsided. I couldn't live like this, I wouldn't live like this, these were choices I had made and now I had to face them. I felt like the most fortunate person in the world having Jacob in my life, and now I had to move ahead and look forward to the life we were about to embark on together. I had no right to put him through this any longer. I decided at that point that I would never shed another tear for that poor boy, or for Forks or for my mother or for my father. I felt a sharp pain in my throat as I pictured him leaving and I quickly shook it off. "My father probably hates me." I said sadly.

"Renessmee, I've known Edward for a while now, and though we may have our differences, the one thing I can say about him is that he is by far the most loyal and whole hearted," he paused for a moment, "being, that I know. I know how he feels about you; there is nothing in this world that you could do that would ever make him hate you."

"Did you see his face?" I whispered, "I think I just broke his heart." I pulled my knees into my chest and stared at my shoes.

"Probably, but it doesn't mean he'd stop loving you. I don't think it's possible." He answered.

"Jacob,"

"Yes?"

"This whole week has been very difficult for me. I feel like you're all I have left, I want to make a promise to you."

"What's that?"

"Jacob Black," I turned to him and took his hand in mine. I stared up at him, his expression was soft and open, and his brown eyes gazed back at me, glimmering beautifully like two warm coals. I reached up and ran my hand along his jaw, feeling a little bit of stubble underneath my fingers. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don't think I can do that properly without letting go of my past. So, therefore, I promise to never shed another tear over my family or that boy ever again. I lost a lot, but I feel like I've gained a lot and have so much to be thankful for. I'm ready to get on with my life, my life with you, if you still want to come with me."

"Oh Ness," he said leaning over and stroking my face, "I'd follow you anywhere, with or without your past. You can't forget them, and I don't think you should try, they're everything to you."

"No, you are." I said tenderly. "I think you always have been, I think I've always known that."

Jacob leaned over and pressed his full warm lips against mine; I curled my arms around his neck and kissed his jaw. I instantly felt a rush of light from my fingertips down to my toes. For the brief moment when his lips were on me, I forgot everything. Forgot all the strife and angst and sadness I had been feeling. I felt like there was electricity and thunder all around me. He pulled me tighter, crushing his chest against mine, I could feel his heart beating wildly and my own slamming in my ears. I was thankful for this, thankful that I was alive, fully and completely. I felt tied to the earth like Jacob I belonged here. It was glorious and invigorating, our hearts synchronized with one another; two healthy, beautiful, living, breathing people together and I was so thankful.

"Jake," I whispered suddenly pushing him away from me, panting loudly.

"What? What's the matter, did I do something wrong?" He asked anxiously, pulling back further than he needed to.

"No, no, I just, I just got a little dizzy, I think I forgot to breathe." I explained, placing my hand over my chest, my face was hot, and I knew my cheeks were flushed. I looked at Jacob and even though he was breathing a little heavily, he looked perfectly calm and intact.

He stared at me and I saw the edges of his mouth curve up slowly into a smirk that I thought would knock my socks off right then and there. "Glad I have that effect on someone." He chuckled in a husky tone.

That night we went outside and built a huge fire in Carlisle's honor, since we had no body or gravesite to visit. Jacob and I sat around and watched the flames lick up the sides of the wood and pop and snap mournfully. I had found some of Carlisle's clothes and thrown them in and for a brief second I felt like he was standing behind me. It was so startling that I actually whipped my head around to see if someone was there, but no one was. Instantaneously after I had turned back to the fire I could smell him clear as day all around me. Carlisle had a very distinct smell, as everyone in my family did. Carlisle's scent was reminiscent of ocean water and musk. A very manly, old world smell; very sophisticated. If his scent could ever be bottled you would definitely say, 'yup, this is what a man should smell like.' It was powerful, yet subtle, just like him. My chest tightened as I thought of him and the smell became more pronounced.

"What's that smell?" Jacob asked, scrunching up his nose in disgust, I forgot, werewolves didn't like the smell of vampires.

"It's Carlisle." I answered simply with a smile.

"Oh, sorry." Jacob said sheepishly.

"It's okay; he'd probably think that was funny." I said sadly, taking his hand.

"I really liked Carlisle a lot. He always seemed like a really good person. I remember when I broke my shoulders up pretty bad in a fight, he came by my father's house, like a dozen times a day to check up on me, get me pain meds and all that. That really meant a lot to me and my dad."

"What kind of fight did you get in where you busted up you arms like that?" I asked with interest, maneuvering my body a little so that I could see him better.

"Oh, it was a little while before you were born." He glanced over at me and looked back into the fire, the sparks reflected off his dark face beautifully. "It was the first time the pack and your family really had to work together."

"What do you mean?"

"Your parents never told you?"

"No, I mean, they mentioned how vampires and werewolves don't really get along, but they never got into the specifics."

"Ness, my pack and your family were sworn enemies for decades, maybe even centuries. We had a treaty that forbade us to stay off one another's land. Anyone who crossed the line was to be killed on the spot."

"Jacob that's horrible!" I shouted standing up.

"Hey, take it easy, that's just the way it was! We hated them, they hated us, do you want to hear the rest of the story or what?"

I had to admit, that yes, yes I did. I straightened my shirt and lowered myself back down into a cross legged position beside him and sulked. "Ok, continue." I grumbled staring into the fire.

"You know, you look just like him when you sulk like that, it's kind of freaking me out." He laughed.

"Sorry." I said, softening my expression.

"It's no big deal; I just thought you should know, you got that angsty vampire thing down pat." I rolled my eyes at him, "and when you do that you look just like Bella."

"Can you just get on with the story already?"

"Right, anyways, so we hated each other. Then we got into a situation where Forks was about to be attacked by a bunch of crazy newborn vampires and we sort of had to join forces to fight them off. I'm amazed all of us made it out alive. I swear your father and I were ready to kill one another at the drop of a hat."

"Over what?" I asked.

"Over, conflicts of interest." He stammered nervously, circling the top of my hand with his thumb.

"So, why did you all finally unite and fight together?"

"Because of your mother."

"My mother, why?"

"Your mother was kind of the driving force between me and your father semi resolving our differences and being civil to one another. She was like, the peacemaker, the negotiator. She always referred to herself as Switzerland, a neutral territory." He chuckled.

I never knew about any of this. I had never heard about the pack's involvement with my family. A coven of newborn vampires? A battle in Forks? Territorial disputes? That was all very heavy and scary stuff and I had no idea any of it had gone on. Suddenly my problems seemed very small and petty. And to think, my mother went through all that as a mortal with nothing to protect her but my father and Jacob. She was much stronger than I had ever given her credit for. She made me proud, she always had, but now even more so.

"Ness, I'm really sorry that you've lost Carlisle, and you're away from all of them. I'm kind of sorry that I am too. They're sort of family to me too, in a weird way.

"Sort of like the family you never wanted?" I joked.

"Yeah, sort of." He laughed hoarsely, putting his arm around my shoulders, "sort of."


	17. Chapter 16

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Chapter 16

I woke up with a start; glancing over at the clock I noticed that it was only one in the morning. Something had woken me, and with horror, I suddenly realized what that something was. I was thirsty, not like thirsty for a glass of water or juice, but thirsty for blood. _Oh no, please no, please don't let this happen to me, please, please. _My hands started to shake, the burning in my throat was agonizing, _please don't let me become this… _I climbed out of bed, and left my bedroom, slinking quietly down the hallway. As I passed Jacob's room I could hear him snoring loudly, I peeked in to the dark room and saw him sprawled out diagonally across the mattress, one of his enormous feet kicked out from under the sheet and dangling off the bed. He was shirtless and had one of his tree trunk arms bent over his head on the pillow. He always forgot to pull down his shades at night and there was a sliver of moonlight reflecting off of his exposed forearm. His veins were like ropes wrapped around a ship's mast; prominent and twisted.

My mouth watered at the sight of him, I felt a slight bitterness coating my tongue, _my_ _God, was I producing venom?! _I now physically stepped into his bedroom and the scent rolling off of him made me woozy with pleasure. Cedar and wilderness was all around me and I suddenly found myself right beside him. He was practically unconscious he was snoring so loudly. I dared to move my face closer to him and sniffed his hair, he smelled like the smoke from the fire and my throat felt like I was swallowing rusty thumbtacks. I focused my attention back to his thick arm and his ropey veins. Surely if I was going to go after anyone, Jacob would be the best choice. For one thing, he was strong enough to fight me off and win and second, if I hurt him, he would heal quickly, and no harm would be done to him. He could handle my strength, he could handle whatever wound I left on him, a human would be doomed…No! What was I thinking? What was wrong with me? I loved him! I would never do anything to harm him! I grabbed my stomach like I was about to get sick and dashed out of his room silently. I needed to get out of that hot little room, that room that reeked of smoke and cedar and rust and syrup. I stood against the wall and gasped down mouthfuls of air. It didn't help, my throat burned, my saliva was bitter. I ran to the kitchen and gulped down glass after glass of water. _Go away! I'm not like this! Go away please, I don't want it, I'm not a killer, I will never spill the blood of another living thing again, never again, just go away! _The water wasn't helping, I knew it wouldn't but I had hoped…I needed air; I needed to be out of this house. I didn't even throw on shoes or a jacket; I just darted outside in my shorts and t-shirt. I scrambled over to the remains of the bonfire and fell to my knees. I screamed as shrilly, and as loudly as I could, I wailed and cursed and punched the ground. I put my head between my knees and my hands over my ears and screamed again. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, if this didn't classify as one already. Then I heard footsteps behind me, I leapt up from the ground protectively, my hair a snarled knot, my eyes wild with fear. Jacob stood just mere feet away from me, he looked like he were about to talk me down off of a building.

"Stay away from me!" I shrieked at him.

"Renessmee, calm down," he said cautiously, raising his hands in front of him defensively. He took a step forward with his bare foot.

"Jake, I'm serious, don't!"

"Ness…" He took another deliberate step.

"Don't! Don't take another step near me! Please!" I pleaded.

"Okay, I won't, what's going on?" He asked slowly.

"I just, I need a minute, just one minute." I swallowed down the fire that was begging me for gratification, "I can do this." I whispered, my complete lack of confidence obvious.

"What. Is. Wrong."

I looked up at Jacob horrified and apologetic at the same time, "I'm thirsty." I whispered, my voice trembling.

Despite my desperation, I was able to watch his expression, it was smooth and understanding, he knew exactly what I meant when I said that. He understood why I was out here carrying on like the lunatic I was becoming.

"Okay, listen to me; you are not going to hurt me."

"I'm not so sure of that." I whispered, recoiling into a crouch.

"Renessmee, listen to me," he said firmly, "you are not going to hurt me."

I didn't know what I would do if he came any closer, I wanted to run to him and embrace him, but my darker self wanted something very different from Jacob Black.

"I'm coming over there," he said angrily. Before I could protest, he did something very unexpected and phased before my very eyes. It happened so quickly that I couldn't even differentiate the process. My jaw dropped open as I stared at the giant russet wolf that was trotting over to me. He sat down beside me and gazed up at me serenely.

I sank down beside him and buried my nose in his thick fur. The burn was still in my throat, but I almost felt repelled by the scent of Jacob's blood and I could no longer fathom going after him. The smell of cedar and smoke was still there and it comforted me. I wrapped my arms around what would have been his shoulders and hugged him. I felt him sniff my hair and lick me and then lower himself down into recumbent position. I leaned back against him and stared up at the stars. The thirst was still there, still taunting me, but I didn't feel alone and that made a significant difference. I felt like I could fight it off, with enough deep breaths and counting back from one hundred, maybe I could think myself out of it or hyperventilate, either way, it would be an improvement.

I tried to fall asleep, but whenever I did I was plagued by nightmares, and thirst, thirst and more thirst. I felt it all through me, my skin, my hair, my bones ached, and I began to claw at myself trying to make it go away. Jacob stayed by me the whole time in his wolf form. I tried to get up and he threw a huge paw around me and held me down. I felt like some kind of junkie, my stomach wretched as I tried to count and fight off the craving. Eventually I fell asleep, the nightmares persisted, so vivid and real that I must have been flailing and talking in my sleep. I woke up to a warm nose nudging my hand. I opened my eyes and wolf Jacob stood over me, staring down at me.

"What Jake?" I asked weakly, I felt nauseous and dizzy.

He nudged his head to the left, there was some kind of dead animal piled on the ground beside me, and I cried out in fear, jumping to my feet. Jacob made some kind of grunty animal noise in response to my reaction, could a wolf convey annoyance? I thought to myself. He stepped toward me and nudged me along in the direction of the carcass.

"Ew Jacob, gross, I can't," I said turning away from the whole scene. Then he barked at me and nudged me again.

"Okay, okay, fine, thank you." He stared at me with his huge black eyes and sneezed, "but um, could you, not watch, I've never done this before." I requested.

Jacob barked at me and trotted away, trusting that I would actually do what I said I would. I looked down at the pitiable creature; it looked like some kind of herd animal, like something off of somebody's farm. Best not to think about it I thought, the thirst felt like it was scraping over my vocal chords and trachea. I could do this, I needed to, it was better than the alternative. How hard could it be? My family did it all the time. I stepped carefully toward the animal, fearful that for some reason it would suddenly get up and attack me. I stared at it sadly, it looked like Jacob had made quick and humane work of it, and he had left a tiny tear in the jugular so that only a trickle of blood leaked out of it. Maybe he thought that would get me wound up enough to actually go through with his ridiculous idea. It did seem to be working though; the scent was not nearly as pungent as it was with that boy, but inviting none the less. I leaned in, desperate to rid myself of this awful feeling and bit up against the jugular. It took a few tries, but I eventually got through and penetrated the vessel and the blood spewed out of the freshly killed animal and into my greedy mouth. It was like a liquid orgasm, or so I assumed, after all, I had no experience with that sort of thing. Every cell in my body was at attention, the thirst, the nausea, and the dizziness were quickly becoming a distant memory. I drank until there was nothing left and even though I could still feel a tinge of the burning, it was just a nagging sensation now, rather than an inferno of bloodlust.

I dragged the body into the woods, far away from the house and by the time I had returned, the sun was coming up. I trudged up the stairs and into the flat. Jacob was back, showered, cleaned and eating cereal at the counter. He had also left a bowl and the milk out for me. Oddly enough, I was a little hungry. He paid little attention to me, which made me glad, that's assumed, why he did it, so I wouldn't feel conspicuous. I looked down at myself, I was dirty; there was charcoal from the bonfire smeared across my knees, my feet were cut up from roaming around in the woods, there was dried blood on my hands and forearms and not all the conditioner in the world could work the knots that had developed in my hair out.

Jacob turned his head to the side and looked me over, "you look like Hell Ness, how are you feeling?" He asked, taking a bite of cereal.

"Much better, thank you." I said hoarsely, "How did you know what to do?"

"Well, um," he said nervously, "there was this one time, that happened to Bella, and nobody was around, and she didn't want to upset Edward, so she came to me, and well, she worked through it. And from then on, whenever that would happen, she'd call me. She's got a perfect track record in the bloodsucking department, but sometimes, it wasn't easy to come by. To this very day, I still don't think he knows half of the stuff she's almost done."

"That's stupid, why wouldn't she tell him?" I asked innocently, dumping some cereal into a bowl.

Jacob gave me a very obvious look and at the same time we said, "Edward's Edward."

I walked over to Jacob and placed a dirty hand over his massive, clean one, that was a paw only hours ago. "Thank you Jacob."

"I love you Ness." He said, kissing me on the forehead.

"I love you too."

I leaned in to kiss his lips when there was a knock at the door. "Who could that be at this hour?" Jacob asked frowning a little.

"A Jehovah's Witness with a caffeine problem?" I suggested with a grin.

Jacob smirked at me and stood up from the counter, wiping his mouth with a napkin and went to answer the front door. I didn't hear a whole lot of talking and within moments, I heard Jacob close the door and walk back into the kitchen. He was carrying a very formal looking document.

"Gee, when they say they're impatient, they really mean it." He said scratching his head. He threw the document down onto the counter. "Read that."

I took it up in my hand, the stationary was heavy and textured, the calligraphy was intricate and old looking and there was an official looking seal watermarking the page.

Dearest Renessmee and friend Jacob,

I told you I tend to become impatient, I apologize for not addressing you in person, but I did not want to be disrespectful as you mourn the passing of our beloved Carlisle. I trust you have given what we talked about some thought and would be delighted if you would join us at the castle this evening to further discuss our potential arrangement. Thank you so much, we all look forward to your visit.

Sincerely,

Aro


	18. Chapter 17

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters.

Sorry it's taken so long to continue on with the story, but here's one more chapter, and I did start another chapter today as well, so that's in the works and hopefully more will follow soon after. As always, thanks for the continued support for Halfbreed and also for my other one; Equilibrium. I'll get back on the horse hardcore okay? Thanks again everyone!

EPOV

Chapter 17

"I always knew that she would leave eventually, somehow I always knew that, I just didn't think it would be this soon." Bella said slowly, staring down at the floor. "I'm not ready yet." She whispered, staring up at me with sad eyes.

"I'm not either. I'm sorry love." I murmured, sitting beside her on the couch, she slipped her cool hand in mine and squeezed. For the first time since this life for her had started she looked tired and worn. The brightness that was always in her eyes, no matter what state she was in had dulled and tarnished, and it was my entire fault.

I shook my head from side to side and I knew the words would start to tumble and rush out of my mouth before I could get control over them. "I should have, I," I stuttered.

She quickly raised a hand to my face and covered my mouth. "Edward, please, please don't. I can't bear to listen to you do this right now." She requested nauseously, "I just, I can't listen to it, I'm sorry."

I nodded obediently and quieted down. She let out a sigh and removed her hand from me and placed it against her forehead, as if she had suddenly gotten a migraine. She rubbed between her eyes helplessly and I immediately scooted beside her and put my arm around her. What else could I do? What else could I say? Nothing, nothing would bring Renessmee back home, and neither one of us would force her.

Bella laid her head against me and buried her nose into my shoulder; I breathed her in and kissed her softly on the forehead. "And Jacob's gone now too."

"Yes, he is. But at least they're together, as they should be. He adores her, positively dotes on her, he'll follow her to the ends of the earth, as we would expect him to. As anybody ending up with Renessmee should, anything less for her would be an insult."

"You set the bar pretty high for her; she expects to be treated well." She whispered into my arm.

"At least I did something right." I replied sarcastically.

"You've done a lot of things right Edward."

I wanted to rebut that statement, but I knew she didn't want to hear any of it. And why would she? She's already had to put up with all of my self deprecating comments for the last…ten, eleven, years now? Had it already been that long? In any case, we had an eternity together, so I had decided on the plane ride home, when I was at my lowest low, to ease up on myself a bit, for Bella's benefit. I wouldn't want her doing that in front of me, so I was making an active effort to keep my insecurities to myself more so these days. I said nothing and just kissed her again, that seemed to elicit a better response from her.

"Is she happy?" Bella asked innocently, snapping me out of my inner monologue.

No, I thought to myself, she was miserable, our child was miserable. I could tell she wanted to go home, that most of what she had said to me was an act, she was misguided by the Volturi and mourning the loss of Carlisle. But, the most disturbing thing was that I could tell she was developing the thirst. I could tell by her body language, her tone of voice, even her smell. She wanted blood, I knew she did and she was keeping it to herself. Didn't she know that this was the best place for her to be to get through that? I should have demanded that she come home immediately, no questions asked, but I didn't because what if I was wrong and being out there was what she really wanted once she got through the tough parts? I couldn't read her mind; that developed when she was about four, all of the sudden, she was like Bella, a mental mute to me. So therefore, I couldn't be certain about any of my theories. I actually found my daughter extremely intimidating at times.

"No." I answered simply, "not right now."

Bella sat up abruptly and stared at me alarmed, she looked as if she were about to burst into tears.

"Bella," I whispered, pulling her back into me gently, "there's been too much loss. She's upset right now, as we all are. She's left her home, Carlisle's gone, her routine is gone, she's in another country, no, she's not happy. But Jacob makes her happy, that's for certain, and that's a start. I think she feels that everything else will fall into place."

"I miss her Edward, and Jacob, and I miss Carlisle, I feel like everything we've fought for is changing and slipping away. What else are we going to lose?"

"I don't know love." I replied, my breath catching in my throat a little. I had been so involved with getting Renessmee back that I hadn't given myself any time to properly mourn the loss of my father. I could barely say his name; I could barely _hear_ his name without getting choked up. I missed Carlisle too, I ached for him. I felt orphaned and lost without him; I could only imagine how Esme felt. I'm sure Jasper could tell, for once I was thankful for the gift I had and glad it wasn't anything like Jasper's.

Bella curled her arms around my neck, seeking comfort in my touch, as my words were not providing her addled mind any relief. "I suppose we should just be thankful for the time we are given with the ones we love rather than worry about how long we have." I whispered into her hair. "That's the best I can do to answer your question."

She nodded slowly and gripped me more tightly, her shoulders began to shake as she cried tearless sobs against me, "oh Bella," I sighed sadly, "if I could do more you know I would."

"I know," she breathed.

I looked up at the doorway and saw Esme standing against the frame, smiling calmly at us, her satin bathrobe wrapped tightly around her, her auburn hair tied back neatly.

"Esme, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," I rambled.

She held up an elegant hand and smiled more warmly, "it's alright Edward; I was trying to be quiet. I didn't mean to intrude," she stopped and covered her mouth with her raised hand and tried to compose herself.

"Esme," Bella cried softly rushing over to her.

"Oh," Esme whimpered, nearly collapsing into Bella's arms. She stayed there for a moment, and then composed herself once again and pulled away from Bella. She placed a hand on the side of Bella's face and smiled again, "you are my joy." Bella smiled weakly and put her hand over Esme's "all of you." Esme whispered, looking over at me. "Edward, you're so," she swallowed carefully, tightly and went on. "You're so much like your father, you just, I'm so proud of you. Renessmee will come back eventually, she loves you both too much to stay away for long."

"Thank you Esme," I said warmly with a half smile, "I hope so." I rose up from where I sat and walked toward her, she approached me and took both of my hands in hers and kissed the top of them.

"Edward, I need to ask you something."

"Anything," I said helping her back over to the couch and sitting beside her, Bella followed close behind. "Whatever it is, you can have it."

"Edward, we lost many things when we lost Carlisle." She seemed to have trouble saying his name as well. "The world lost a talented and compassionate clinician, I lost my husband, my love, your siblings lost a father, a role model, but you lost so much more, I feel like this has hit you the hardest. You were just like him in so many ways and he admired you so much. We are all in this family together, but I feel as if we all looked to Carlisle as a leader, the head of this family. Now that he's gone, everything seems out of place, we only have each other to look to."

"Esme, surely you are the head of this family now, our matriarch. Surely you know that." I assured her.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully, "I am no leader, but you Edward, you are."

I felt my eyes grow wide in my head and Esme smiled and laughed a small, lovely giggle. She crossed one of her legs over the other and her sad expression became patient and hopeful. "I think you should lead this family from now on Edward."

"No," I said quickly, standing up, "no, I can't be a leader; I'm not the right choice. This is your family Esme, I can't, I can't even keep my teenage daughter in the same country as me, I can't, I,"

Bella tugged on my hand and pulled me back down onto the couch. "Yes you can," she said sternly, locking her eyes with mine.

"Edward, please, take care of this family with me. As my oldest son; the most human of us, please Edward, this family needs your strength and your optimism, you and Bella's. The two of you have overcome more than anyone I have ever met. We can all learn from both of you." Esme implored, placing her hand on my forearm.

I looked at Bella and she nodded brightly, her eyes now brimming over with pride and honesty, "she's right." She said softly.

I looked back over at Esme with her pleading stare and breathed in deeply. "This is what you want?" I asked uncertainly, Esme nodded slowly at me. "I'll do my best then."


	19. Chapter 18

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters.

RPOV

Chapter 18

As soon as we had received the summons from Aro, we traveled back to Volterra to answer him. Neither Jacob nor I wanted to become an enemy of his, and at this point, we had no other purpose in life, no other place to go. So after some long discussion, Jacob and I decided to join the Volturi. Aro was delighted and quickly took both of us under his wing, introducing us to the rest of the coven and giving us our own part of the castle to reside in. We decided that it wouldn't be right to stay at Esme's flat any longer, so we packed up everything and closed the place up, leaving a note for her and the rest of the family explaining our actions and telling them once again how much we loved everyone. Who could know when they would actually get back to Italy and find the note. I wasn't sure if they ever would, now that it had become a symbol of loss and sadness for all of us in various ways.

Aro didn't use us all of the time; very rarely did we actually have to do anything. He used Jacob more than me, more as an intimidation factor for an offender. Jacob would phase into his wolf form and join Aro and Jane, Marcus, Cauis, and Alec whenever they had to intercede. Usually, they needed Jacob whenever they were issuing a warning. They needed me when they actually had to act upon a threat.  
When I went, my job was to simply listen and concentrate and watch what was happening around me, and then when it was all over, I would go back to the castle and sit with Elizabeth, the record keeper and let her see what had happened that day.

At first, Aro kept the cruelty to a minimum, usually just burning the offending undead and it was after several warnings had been put forth. Most of the time, the offender's crime was that of an absurd nature. It usually was a vampire that had grown tired of their existence and did something blatant and flamboyant to cause the Volturi to end it for them. Most of the crimes seemed reminiscent to what my father had done those many years ago when he had thought my mother was dead. I shuddered to think about how close he had come to being destroyed.

However, as time went on, the punishment tactics of the Volturi started becoming more frequent and petty, and more cruel. Jacob and I were required to come along nearly every time Aro had to intercede as opposed to before when we had minimal involvement.

I continued to ache for my family, but the pain was becoming more bearable from day to day, and having Jacob by my side made it that way. Jacob seemed to be in a more peaceful state than I was, but I knew he missed everyone. He missed the pack, and his father and Bella, but he never said it out loud. He was as stoic as a stone and always optimistic about everything but I could see our new life together was wearing on him.

Jacob had been gone for several days. I missed him terribly, every so often Aro would leave for multiple days with the other ancients to deal with a problem and he would take Jacob with him. It seemed as if he preferred Jacob to me, Jacob was more reactive to situations, he was more of a fighter and his brawn was substantial and fearsome, where as I simply looked like a skinny teenager who sat and did nothing. I also think that I reminded Aro too much of my father and he didn't particularly care for that, seeing as Edward was one of the only one of their kind to stand up to the Volturi and lived to talk about it. I presumed that Aro trusted Jacob more than me and often suspected him of trying to brainwash Jacob. I lived in fear of what would happen to us if the day ever came when he succeeded.

I paced around my bedroom nervously, my Mp3 player blasting in my ears. I was quickly becoming more able to control the thirst that I felt from time to time, but when I was having a bad day, it was very difficult to concentrate. I felt like it was most evident when I was anxious or sad. At those times the thought of blood consumed my every thought to the point in which I felt my sanity held on by only a thread; blood was my comfort food, and that completely disturbed and grossed me out. However, I had managed to make it through three years now without letting a single drop touch my tongue. Alanis Morrisette's Uninvited pumped in my ears as I felt the heat creeping up my throat. I shut my eyes and listened to the music and sang along with it and moved around my room furiously, tidying up and folding my laundry. I had the most well kept room in the entire castle, so there was not a whole lot for me to do unfortunately. I opened my eyes and stared at my perfectly organized closet, my alphabetically sorted CDs, my perfectly stacked books and obnoxiously straight paintings and drawings hanging on the wall. My bed was made with hospital corners that would put a seventy year old nurse to shame, the glass on my windows and on my mirror sparkled mockingly in the late afternoon sunshine. I sighed deeply, a piece of my hair blowing up and out of my face. The worst of my attack had passed, but it was still nagging at me and I had run out of things to do in my room at least. I shrugged my shoulders and turned and walked down the hallway to Jacob's room to clean that as well.

Jacob's room was a completely different story and for once his sloppiness was like a blessing to me.

"Dogs are gross." I mumbled with a smirk as I headed over to the closet to tackle a pile of dirty t-shirts. An acoustic version of Sharp Shock by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs started to play and I actually started to feel better, humming along with it as I sorted Jake's whites, lights, and darks. My uncle Emmett always mixed his laundry; white shirt, red sweatshirt, it didn't matter to him, he'd just throw it all in. Jasper was the same way and my mother too, but my father was a different story, he sorted everything, he and Alice, since she had such an affinity for well kept clothes, _'they were such squares'_, I thought to myself, chuckling a little. Then there was Rosalie, and she simply didn't do laundry. The song on my MP3 player switched again, and I decided to skip over it. The buttons on the thing were so worn out from use that I actually had to apply force to get the song to skip. My parents had offered to get me another one for the longest time, but I refused because I had had this one since I was a baby. I even still had some of the original music they put on it when they first got it for me. I would never get another one, ever.

I had loaded up a laundry basket full of Jake's dirty clothes and walked out of his room and headed down the hallway, just as I turned the corner, I slammed into a small, sturdy being that nearly knocked the wind out of me. I peered over the basket and saw two inquisitive, red eyes staring back at me.

"Sorry Jane," I coughed, "I wasn't paying attention."

"That's perfectly alright Renessmee, it was my fault, I should have been watching where I was walking." She said in a soft melodious voice with a little smile. "Are you doing your own laundry? You know we have servants that do that."

"Oh, yeah, um, it's actually Jacob's and I don't mind. I'm not really comfortable with other people doing my work for me; I kind of enjoy doing it myself."

"You, enjoy doing this?" She giggled, "How very interesting it must be to be human. At least half human that is."

"Yeah, well, it's not really a human thing." I said flatly, "my family used to do their own chores all of the time." Everyone seemed to either be in fear of Jane or in awe of her. Jake and I were neither, we both just thought she was a spoiled twit, her other half Alec wasn't as condescending as her, but he wasn't very likeable either. Jake and I seemed to be the only ones who weren't afraid to be rude to them.

"I don't understand their frame of mind either. They certainly can afford to have someone do their work for them, can't they?"

"Well, yes, but," I said defensively, but then I stopped, this wasn't important, why was I even wasting my time talking to her? "No, you know what? I'm not even going to try to explain them to you Jane. I'll see you around." I said bluntly, maneuvering around her, but she blocked my way. I dropped the laundry basket onto the floor with a clatter and crossed my arms over chest, annoyed.

"Please don't misunderstand me," she said sweetly. For a moment, she actually looked a little remorseful. "I'm not trying to offend you; I just truly don't understand the mindset of you Cullens. You have so much power at your fingertips, with all the talent and resources your family has, and you seem to just,"

"Waste it?" I asked, finishing her thought for her.

"Please, I just really don't understand." She pleaded with me now.

"Don't you remember anything about when you were human?" I asked her, now feeling a little bad for her.

"No." She whispered, looking down at the floor sadly.

"That's a shame." I said, uncrossing my arms and picking up the laundry basket and walking past her.

"Don't you ever wonder what it would be like to, or doesn't your family ever wonder what it would be like to truly embrace their nature?" She called behind me.

I turned and stared at her, adjusting the basket on my hip, "we do embrace our nature, that's why we are who we are and you are who you are. It doesn't matter if we're accepted, we do what we think is right. Just because I'm here with you and Aro and the rest, it doesn't mean that I have to conform to your lifestyle. I'll never ask any of you to conform to mine either. I have a job to do, and as long as I continue to do what I am supposed to do here to the best of my ability, you have no right to ask any more of me than that." I stated fairly to her as a thoughtful look crossed her perfect face.

She smiled a little at that and said to me, "you are a very unique being Renessmee."

"Thank you." I said with a grin.

I continued to make my way down the hallway to the first floor to where the laundry area and kitchen were, the thirst I had been feeling had completely dissipated at this point and now I was just plain irritated; Irritated with Jane and her pompous attitude toward my family and me. I wondered if she was like this when she was alive and how she died. Maybe she ran her mouth and somebody murdered her. It would make complete sense; she was such a little bitch. I couldn't stand her. I dumped some detergent in with the clothes and tapped my foot in aggravation.

"'They certainly can afford to have someone do the work for them can't they? You're a very unique being Renessmee'" I repeated in a mock Jane voice under my breath. When was Jacob coming home, he was the only normal one around here I could talk to. Ugh, he was going to love it when I enlightened him on the little conversation I had just had with Jane. I slammed the door shut on the washing machine and punched the start button, creating a dent in the metal. Sometimes I had a tendency to forget how strong I really was. I hopped up onto the washing machine and sat for a moment. I would have to be more careful, I didn't really want to have to buy the Volturi a new washing machine. _How would they wash their capes? _I thought to myself and then giggled out loud at how ridiculous that statement was. It felt good to laugh, so I laughed a little harder, picturing Jane hanging out a bunch of capes to dry in the middle of the town square, oh right, they had servants to do that…I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from guffawing out loud. I must have looked like a lunatic, sitting there swinging my legs and laughing to myself.

As I began to think up more humorous things to picture Jane doing in my head, I heard footsteps, familiar, but different ones. They sounded like Jacob's but much more downtrodden. When I saw him peek his head around the corner, I could see why, his face was the picture of sadness.

"Jake!" I said, getting ready to hop down off the washing machine to run to him. He held up a hand to stop me. I obeyed, and asked now more concerned, "Jake what's the matter?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came, his liquid brown eyes were dull and teary and he shook his head slowly side to side. Within in a moment he was in front of me on his knees, his enormous arms wound around my waist tightly and he buried his face into my thigh. His shoulders began to shake with silent sobs.

"Jake, what happened?" I whispered, running my fingers through his thick dark hair gently. I bent over and put my arms around his shoulders and formed a makeshift shelter around him. He was so huge and I was so small, but I would do everything I could to make him feel secure and protected. I kissed him softly on the top of his head and rubbed my nose and forehead against him. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to. It's going to be alright." I murmured, "it's alright love, I'm right here."

I don't know how long we sat there like that, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours, all I know is that the laundry was beyond done by the time Jacob pulled away from me slightly and spoke.

"I, I killed somebody Ness. They made me an executioner. He didn't deserve to die. I swear he didn't, he was just a kid. He didn't know what he was doing."

"Oh God Jacob, that's awful. How old was he?"

"Couldn't have been more than ten."

"Why would anyone turn a ten year old into a vampire?" I asked angrily.

"He wasn't a vampire, he was human." He said gravely, as more tears slid down his umber skin. My eyes widened in horror.

"How?" I whispered, "How is that lawful?"

Jacob stood and paced around the room like a caged animal. "His mother had survived a vampire attack, she was turning and he was watching over her, trying to protect her and comfort her, he saw the whole thing happen. So, according to Aro, he knew too much." Jacob said bitterly, he swallowed hard and nearly choked on the words. "He made me do it." His voice cracked horribly and he started to full out sob, he made a fist and put it over his mouth, "oh God Renessmee, I'm gonna get sick,"

"Its okay, it's okay!" I said rushing over to him, there was a small bathroom off the laundry room and I quickly opened the door and lifted the toilet seat and guided him over to it. He promptly vomited a mouthful of yellow liquid into the bowl, crumbling to his knees before it. He laid his head against the bowl and moaned and continued to sob.

I grabbed a damp towel, squatted aside him and laid it across his neck. "Jacob," I whispered my hands somewhere on him at all times, "it'll be alright,"

He turned his head and looked at me, more composed, but still on the brink of a meltdown, "Renessmee, we've got to get out of here." He whispered, "And we've got to stop them."


	20. Chapter 19

I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters

RPOV

Chapter 19

I stayed with Jacob until he felt well enough to go back upstairs to our rooms. The laundry was done, and he carried the basket wearily up the stairs for me and we sat on his bed with the door shut and tried to devise a plan.

"What are we going to do?" He whispered. We had to be very careful when we spoke, due to the sensitivity of the vampires' hearing.

"Maybe we should go out if we're going to discuss this." I whispered back.

"Ness, I can't, honest to God, I can't. I need to just sit for a little." He pleaded sadly.

"Okay, okay, we can stay, we don't have to talk, we can just sit." I assured him.

He gazed at me thoughtfully with his liquid brown eyes and ran the back of his hand across my cheek. His fingers were still damp from his tears and his skin was burning hot against mine. My eyes fluttered shut at the intimacy of it. I craved him, every part of him, I wouldn't allow my gentle Jacob become the monster that Aro wanted him to be. I would come up with some way to save us and stop them.

"I can stop them," I breathed, my eyes snapped open; "I know I can."

"Renessmee, you are not responsible for protecting everyone and everything you come across." He said very seriously, sniffing a little, "We'll come up with something together."

"We are a force to be reckoned with, you and I." I said solemnly, touching his thigh and staring up at him intensely.

Jacob gave me a weak half smile, "you are beautiful," he murmured lowly. Suddenly, there was something very different about his demeanor, he had gone from sad and shaken to a sad, more together person, but there was something else there. I couldn't quite figure out what it was until I felt his hand slide up my bare neck and creep to the back of my head as he pulled me closer to him.

I felt my heart beat faster and my breathing become slightly ragged. During all of the time I had been away from home, away from school, I had been dealing with very adult situations, but I had never really thought about this part of adulthood. I felt my shoulders stiffen nervously as Jacob's mouth found mine. In the time that we had been together, Jacob and I still handled ourselves in a very chaste manner. We were affectionate; we would kiss, but nothing like this. Our relationship had always had an air of innocence to it, and for some reason, that felt very different at this moment.

I felt like Jacob was leaving for war; there was intensity and a hunger in his body language that I had never experienced before. His mouth moved against mine as I knotted my fingers in his hair and slipped my tongue into his mouth. His two enormous hands practically encircled my waist entirely as he pulled me on top of him onto the bed. I clutched at the hem of his t-shirt and felt his stomach tighten under my hand as he pulled my shirt up slightly in the back and felt his warm skin against mine. I managed to kick my sneakers off and crawl my legs up his sides, shamefully locking my knees around his hips. His chest heaved dramatically as he continued to kiss me and move his hands under my shirt to the front of my stomach. Everything was happening so quickly, I wanted to slow myself down, but found it to be nearly impossible. I roughly shoved my hands under his shirt and ran my fingertips down his torso. I could feel all the divots and curves of his sinuous build and was amazed that I was here with someone like him, doing something like this. His mouth found my neck and curve of my shoulder and I all but moaned out loud.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door and simultaneously, Jacob sat up with a start and I cried out loud in surprise and fell on the floor. Damn that Bella gene. My father was not nearly as clumsy; I wish I could have inherited his grace rather than his stubbornness.

Jacob coughed, straightened his shirt, and propped a pillow in his lap, _I wonder why he did that_, I thought to myself. "Come in," he answered, his voice cracking uncharmingly in the process.

I was kneeling on the opposite side of Jacob's bed, about to stand when the bedroom door creaked open and Jane stood in the doorway. "Hello Jacob," she greeted in her perfect musical voice. She peered across the room where I was and looked at my sneakers piled on the floor and then back at me. "Hello Renessmee," she said sweetly as I scowled at her.

"What do you want Jane?" Jacob grumbled.

"Oh," she said, feigning innocence, "did I interrupt something?" She glanced at the pillow in Jacob's lap and smirked suggestively.

"Not at all," I answered, standing as gracefully and nonchalantly as I could.

Jane's smirk turned from a smirk to a full out smile. "Alec told me what happened today Jacob," she said gravely to him. "I'm very sorry that Aro put you through that. I want you to know that I don't agree with what he asked you to do."

Jacob raised an eyebrow at her and I stormed around the bed and stood by his side. "Since when do you give a damn about humans or Jacob for that matter?" I demanded in a harsh voice. Clearly, my hormones were still very much in control of my mouth right at this moment. Jacob shot me a worried glance, which simply made me gesture more defiantly at the little witch in front of me.

"You're absolutely right Renessmee," Jane agreed, sitting down on the bed, her little feet not even touching the floor. "I have not been fair or humane in the treatment of mortals or other vampires in the past. I certainly haven't been very helpful to the two of you since you have been here with us. I know it has been very difficult for the both of you, leaving your homes and your families. And Carlisle's death," my heart skipped painfully at the sound of my grandfather's name, but I let her continue. "We were all very saddened by that, I assure you, he and Aro were friends for many years. And as you know, our coven does not have many friends. I do want you to know though, that I think what Aro had done today to that boy by Jacob's hand was unlawful and should have been assigned for someone else to do if it was necessary. I am very sorry you had to be put through that Jacob." She said sympathetically, staring up at Jacob with her ruby, otherworldly eyes. Then a very strange thing happened; I actually believed her. I believed that she was sorry, that she thought it was unfair what Aro had Jacob do. I felt my expression soften and unballed my fists that I had clenched at my sides.

"Thank you Jane," Jacob said in his serene, husky voice.

"What are you going to do?" She questioned, and I could immediately sense Jacob's guard come up.

"There's nothing that can be done now. I can't bring him back; I'll just have to live with what I did. It's what us humans call, coping." He stated flatly, making quotations with his fingers at the word coping.

"But you're not human Jacob Black." She retorted naïvely.

"I'm close enough. Anyways, thanks Jane, I'm glad that Ness and I aren't the only ones who disagree with what happened today."

"You have more support than you think." She added, standing up and walking toward the door. "I'll talk you both later."

"See you around Jane," I called behind her in a friendlier tone than I had ever shown her before.

The door shut behind her and Jacob and I both cocked our heads to the side a little and listened until her footsteps were completely out of range.

"That was odd," I said lightly, looking over at him. Jacob's mouth was a straight line as he lay on his back in bed with his hands behind him.

"She's a spy." He said bluntly.

"What?" I laughed, walking over to the bed and lying on my side, "a spy? Come on, no, she really feels bad."

"No she doesn't Ness," he hissed, flipping onto his side and facing me, "she doesn't give a rat's ass about that boy, or Aro's intentions, or either one of us. She's up to something, I know it. Aro's probably suspicious that after today and my reaction that we could cause them trouble. He's been grooming me for something, I just know it, and after today, when he saw how I approached his order, he knows that I'm not grooming material."

"Jacob, you're paranoid." I replied.

"No, I'm not, I'm telling you, something's up. We've got to come up with a plan and fast, something bad's on the horizon. Animals can sense these things, I'm not crazy." His eyes were dark and determined, and I knew that it wasn't paranoia, he was afraid.

"Okay Jake, tomorrow, we'll go out to lunch or something and start planning our escape." I assured him. He bent forward and kissed me on the forehead and curled his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. No matter where we were, Jacob always smelled the same, like the wilderness; wild pine and balsam and cedar and clean water. I breathed in deeply and began to doze off, unsure of what awaited us tomorrow.


	21. Chapter 20

I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

EPOV

Chapter 20

"Edward," Emmet's jovial voice boomed down the hallway of our tiny cottage. My head snapped up from my hands and I glanced over at the bedroom door.

"In here Em," I called. I knotted my fingers in my hair and sighed in preparation for his arrival.

"Oh! There you are, hey" he laughed, his huge build now crowding the narrow doorframe. He frowned as he looked around at the black and purple bedspread and the turquoise walls that surrounded us. "What are you doing in here?" He asked cautiously as he realized I was sitting in Renessmee's room.

"Today's her birthday," I sighed, as I stood up from the bed. "I was just," I started,

"Oh, hey, um do you want me to come back?" He suggested uncomfortably, knitting his dark eyebrows together.

"No, no, it's fine, I'm fine. I was just, visiting." I said quickly walking out the door, nearly pushing Emmet out of the way and shutting the door behind me. "What's up?" I asked lightly, looping my thumbs in the pockets of my jeans.

"God Edward, you look awful." He said as he examined me more closely.

"I just, need to hunt; did you want to talk to me about something?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Oh, yeah, actually, Rose and I wanted to talk to you and Bells about something, is she around?"

"She's with Charlie and Billy, she should be home soon though." I said as helpfully as I could. As soon as I said it, my phone rang, startling us both. "Speak of the devil," I said raising an eyebrow with a smirk. Emmett smiled back, glad to see me smirking I assumed.

I put the phone to my ear, "hello love, how's Charlie?" Before she could answer, Emmett grabbed the phone out of my hand and ducked out the front door of the house.

"Bella!!! When are you coming home babe?" He laughed into the phone, I went to grab it from him and he took off into the woods, inciting a chase. "Oh yeah?" I heard him say, "What are you wearing?" he laughed, "oh yeah, Rose never wears stuff like that, what do you say you and me…" before he could finish, I caught up with him and shoved him into a tree. The tree immediately uprooted and fell over and so did we. "Bells, did you hear that? Your husband's tearing up the forest again, no he's not eco friendly at all," she said something witty back to him and he guffawed out loud, which just made me laugh because Emmett was so contagious. "I love you Bells, see you in a bit, k, bye!" He snapped the phone shut and threw it at me. "She didn't want to talk to you." He laughed, I smacked him in the leg and sat up, bending my knees and chuckled with him.

"She always wants to talk to me." I stated with another smirk.

"More like you always want to talk to her." He teased, punching me in the arm.

"I can't help it. She's far more pleasant than Rosalie."

"Yeah she is," he agreed with a chuckle. "Anyways, Bella said she'll be home in a few minutes."

I looked helplessly over at Emmett and shook my head, "Em, I swear to God, if you and Rose have bad news, I'll dismember myself right here and set myself on fire."

Emmett laughed again, "no worries Edward, we have good news, I promise."

"Thank Christ," I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair, "finally, good news!"

"I hear Bella pulling into the driveway," Emmett said suddenly, looking very distracted. I nodded in agreement; I winced as I heard the brakes on her car squeal. "She's got to have Rose take a look at those." Emmett remarked. I nodded again. "So," he said, hopping up and dusting himself off, "race you back to the house?"

"I'll meet you there," I said with a grin, taking off back toward the main house.

It was almost a tie, almost. Almost meaning that, I beat Emmett. Bella had just locked the car and was walking toward the cottage when I intercepted her. "Hello love," I greeted cheerfully, grabbing her by the waist.

"Hello!" She replied with a radiant smile that I hadn't seen all week. "What's going on?"

"Emmett and Rosalie need to speak with us." I murmured, kissing her on the cheek.

"About what? Jasper and Alice are away, should we wait until they come back?"

"No, we just wanted to talk to you guys," Emmett answered as he exited the woods.

"Okay, well," Bella started, when she turned, Rosalie was coming toward us from the other direction, "hi Rose, okay, well, why don't you both come inside then?" She invited as she opened the door to our house.

The three of us sat in the living room and watched as Bella hung her jacket and purse and joined us. "What's going on?" She repeated from earlier.

"Rose and I have an announcement to make," Emmett started, inching over closer to Rose and taking her hand, he almost seemed giddy. Rose leaned over and whispered something to him, and even she was smiling and giggling. I shot Bella a confused glance which she returned instantaneously.

Rosalie turned her focus to us and continued for him, "well, as you know, I've always wanted to have children, but we all know that's impossible, so Emmett and I have decided,"

I tried so hard not to listen in on my sister's thoughts, but there was a break in my concentration and one word rang out among others; adoption. I felt my mouth drop open to speak, when Bella quickly clapped a hand over my face to prevent me from stealing Emmett and Rose's thunder.

"We've decided to adopt an infant." She said beaming from ear to ear. She really looked so beautiful and content, she was positively glowing. I felt awful about what I was prepared to say to the two of them. Emmett burst off the couch and picked her up and hugged her and cheered like an idiot.

"Excuse me?" I spat at them.

"That's wonderful!" Bella gushed, leaping from her chair and joining in on the embracing.

"Bella!" I shouted, rising from my chair so quickly that it wobbled a little.

"Edward!" She shouted back at me, as if I should have been ashamed of what I had just said.

"You can't be supportive of this?!" I cried, my voice cracking.

Emmett and Rosalie both shot me hurtful, disappointed glances that wounded me. "Of course I am," Bella whispered harshly, letting go of the two of them and stepping toward me slowly.

"What's the matter man, I thought you'd be happy for us," Emmett asked sadly.

"I, I," I was completely perplexed and speechless and felt the need to pace.

"I told you," Rose started, her voice shaking, "I told you he'd be opposed to this, he only thinks about himself."

"Rose," Emmett started, "come on, he's had a really hard,"

"So have we." She stated, "For three years now, there's been nothing but despair and hopelessness in this house. We all loved Carlisle, we all loved Renessmee, but they're gone now, and they're not coming back. Everyone is upset Edward! All of us! Esme lost her husband, we've lost our father, you've lost your child, even Billy and Charlie, we all lost something when the three of them left us. Emmett and I are trying to get some of that back by doing this."

I was furious, I felt like a child, like I was being made little of, she had no idea what Bella and I had gone through these last few years. Every day was a struggle, everyday was a reminder, healing was, I couldn't even have a lucid thought anymore.

"You have no idea," I accused, taking two quick, long strides toward her. She wouldn't stand down, Rose never did, she was by far the most defiant, headstrong, vicious female I had ever, Bella zipped between the two of us and placed a hand on my chest.

"Stop it!" Bella cried, "Just stop it," I felt my jaw tighten and all of my muscles tense.

"No Edward, you have no idea!" Rose snapped, "you have no idea what it's like to never be a parent, to have all of that taken from you, and then,"

"Rose, enough!" Emmett interrupted angrily.

"If you raise your voice to me one more time, so help me Rosalie, I'll" Did I just threaten my sister? I never did that, she always brought out the worst in me.

"Edward!" Bella shouted, "Don't you dare talk to her like that, what is your problem?" She snarled at me. And then there was my wife, who always brought out the best in me.

I felt my expression soften and my muscles unwind themselves from their tight bounds. "I'm sorry Rose. You're right, I don't have any idea how you must feel. How you have felt all of these years. We've all broken rules here, made exceptions," I put my arm around my Bella, my only peace in this world, "our family has only become better from it. What does it matter anymore? You and Emmett's happiness is important, I'm sure you'll make exceptional parents to some very lucky child."

"Do you really mean that?" Rosalie asked, touching her chest in surprise.

"Of course I do." I replied genuinely. I really did mean it, the happiness and well being of this family was my main concern now, that and Bella, just like it had always been for Carlisle. I appreciated the fact that Emmett and Rose had come to us first, I felt honored really. I did want them to be happy. They would do the same for Bella and I. They _had_ done the same for Bella and me. The least I could do was return the favor.

If Rose could cry, she would have, her lip trembled slightly and her golden eyes grew wide and glassy and she whispered shakily, "thank you Edward." She closed up the small space between us and threw her arms around me and I embraced my sister more tightly than I think I ever had. She pulled away from me and hugged Bella and then hurried back to Emmett and practically disappeared into his huge arms.

"Oh Em, we're going to have a baby." She whispered against him.

"I know babe, I know." He whispered back excitedly, he glanced up at me and smiled, "thanks man."

I nodded curtly with a small smile, almost on the verge of sobs myself. Bella reached over and squeezed my hand. I swallowed hard, choking back the vast array of emotions I was feeling, and smiled more widely. "So, is it going to be a boy or a girl?"

Chapter 20

Edward

"Edward," Emmet's jovial voice boomed down the hallway of our tiny cottage. My head snapped up from my hands and I glanced over at the bedroom door.

"In here Em," I called. I knotted my fingers in my hair and sighed in preparation for his arrival.

"Oh! There you are, hey" he laughed, his huge build now crowding the narrow doorframe. He frowned as he looked around at the black and purple bedspread and the turquoise walls that surrounded us. "What are you doing in here?" He asked cautiously as he realized I was sitting in Renessmee's room.

"Today's her birthday," I sighed, as I stood up from the bed. "I was just," I started,

"Oh, hey, um do you want me to come back?" He suggested uncomfortably, knitting his dark eyebrows together.

"No, no, it's fine, I'm fine. I was just, visiting." I said quickly walking out the door, nearly pushing Emmet out of the way and shutting the door behind me. "What's up?" I asked lightly, looping my thumbs in the pockets of my jeans.

"God Edward, you look awful." He said as he examined me more closely.

"I just, need to hunt; did you want to talk to me about something?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Oh, yeah, actually, Rose and I wanted to talk to you and Bells about something, is she around?"

"She's with Charlie and Billy, she should be home soon though." I said as helpfully as I could. As soon as I said it, my phone rang, startling us both. "Speak of the devil," I said raising an eyebrow with a smirk. Emmett smiled back, glad to see me smirking I assumed.

I put the phone to my ear, "hello love, how's Charlie?" Before she could answer, Emmett grabbed the phone out of my hand and ducked out the front door of the house.

"Bella!!! When are you coming home babe?" He laughed into the phone, I went to grab it from him and he took off into the woods, inciting a chase. "Oh yeah?" I heard him say, "What are you wearing?" he laughed, "oh yeah, Rose never wears stuff like that, what do you say you and me…" before he could finish, I caught up with him and shoved him into a tree. The tree immediately uprooted and fell over and so did we. "Bells, did you hear that? Your husband's tearing up the forest again, no he's not eco friendly at all," she said something witty back to him and he guffawed out loud, which just made me laugh because Emmett was so contagious. "I love you Bells, see you in a bit, k, bye!" He snapped the phone shut and threw it at me. "She didn't want to talk to you." He laughed, I smacked him in the leg and sat up, bending my knees and chuckled with him.

"She always wants to talk to me." I stated with another smirk.

"More like you always want to talk to her." He teased, punching me in the arm.

"I can't help it. She's far more pleasant than Rosalie."

"Yeah she is," he agreed with a chuckle. "Anyways, Bella said she'll be home in a few minutes."

I looked helplessly over at Emmett and shook my head, "Em, I swear to God, if you and Rose have bad news, I'll dismember myself right here and set myself on fire."

Emmett laughed again, "no worries Edward, we have good news, I promise."

"Thank Christ," I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair, "finally, good news!"

"I hear Bella pulling into the driveway," Emmett said suddenly, looking very distracted. I nodded in agreement; I winced as I heard the brakes on her car squeal. "She's got to have Rose take a look at those." Emmett remarked. I nodded again. "So," he said, hopping up and dusting himself off, "race you back to the house?"

"I'll meet you there," I said with a grin, taking off back toward the main house.

It was almost a tie, almost. Almost meaning that, I beat Emmett. Bella had just locked the car and was walking toward the cottage when I intercepted her. "Hello love," I greeted cheerfully, grabbing her by the waist.

"Hello!" She replied with a radiant smile that I hadn't seen all week. "What's going on?"

"Emmett and Rosalie need to speak with us." I murmured, kissing her on the cheek.

"About what? Jasper and Alice are away, should we wait until they come back?"

"No, we just wanted to talk to you guys," Emmett answered as he exited the woods.

"Okay, well," Bella started, when she turned, Rosalie was coming toward us from the other direction, "hi Rose, okay, well, why don't you both come inside then?" She invited as she opened the door to our house.

The three of us sat in the living room and watched as Bella hung her jacket and purse and joined us. "What's going on?" She repeated from earlier.

"Rose and I have an announcement to make," Emmett started, inching over closer to Rose and taking her hand, he almost seemed giddy. Rose leaned over and whispered something to him, and even she was smiling and giggling. I shot Bella a confused glance which she returned instantaneously.

Rosalie turned her focus to us and continued for him, "well, as you know, I've always wanted to have children, but we all know that's impossible, so Emmett and I have decided,"

I tried so hard not to listen in on my sister's thoughts, but there was a break in my concentration and one word rang out among others; adoption. I felt my mouth drop open to speak, when Bella quickly clapped a hand over my face to prevent me from stealing Emmett and Rose's thunder.

"We've decided to adopt an infant." She said beaming from ear to ear. She really looked so beautiful and content, she was positively glowing. I felt awful about what I was prepared to say to the two of them. Emmett burst off the couch and picked her up and hugged her and cheered like an idiot.

"Excuse me?" I spat at them.

"That's wonderful!" Bella gushed, leaping from her chair and joining in on the embracing.

"Bella!" I shouted, rising from my chair so quickly that it wobbled a little.

"Edward!" She shouted back at me, as if I should have been ashamed of what I had just said.

"You can't be supportive of this?!" I cried, my voice cracking.

Emmett and Rosalie both shot me hurtful, disappointed glances that wounded me. "Of course I am," Bella whispered harshly, letting go of the two of them and stepping toward me slowly.

"What's the matter man, I thought you'd be happy for us," Emmett asked sadly.

"I, I," I was completely perplexed and speechless and felt the need to pace.

"I told you," Rose started, her voice shaking, "I told you he'd be opposed to this, he only thinks about himself."

"Rose," Emmett started, "come on, he's had a really hard,"

"So have we." She stated, "For three years now, there's been nothing but despair and hopelessness in this house. We all loved Carlisle, we all loved Renessmee, but they're gone now, and they're not coming back. Everyone is upset Edward! All of us! Esme lost her husband, we've lost our father, you've lost your child, even Billy and Charlie, we all lost something when the three of them left us. Emmett and I are trying to get some of that back by doing this."

I was furious, I felt like a child, like I was being made little of, she had no idea what Bella and I had gone through these last few years. Every day was a struggle, everyday was a reminder, healing was, I couldn't even have a lucid thought anymore.

"You have no idea," I accused, taking two quick, long strides toward her. She wouldn't stand down, Rose never did, she was by far the most defiant, headstrong, vicious female I had ever, Bella zipped between the two of us and placed a hand on my chest.

"Stop it!" Bella cried, "Just stop it," I felt my jaw tighten and all of my muscles tense.

"No Edward, you have no idea!" Rose snapped, "you have no idea what it's like to never be a parent, to have all of that taken from you, and then,"

"Rose, enough!" Emmett interrupted angrily.

"If you raise your voice to me one more time, so help me Rosalie, I'll" Did I just threaten my sister? I never did that, she always brought out the worst in me.

"Edward!" Bella shouted, "Don't you dare talk to her like that, what is your problem?" She snarled at me. And then there was my wife, who always brought out the best in me.

I felt my expression soften and my muscles unwind themselves from their tight bounds. "I'm sorry Rose. You're right, I don't have any idea how you must feel. How you have felt all of these years. We've all broken rules here, made exceptions," I put my arm around my Bella, my only peace in this world, "our family has only become better from it. What does it matter anymore? You and Emmett's happiness is important, I'm sure you'll make exceptional parents to some very lucky child."

"Do you really mean that?" Rosalie asked, touching her chest in surprise.

"Of course I do." I replied genuinely. I really did mean it, the happiness and well being of this family was my main concern now, that and Bella, just like it had always been for Carlisle. I appreciated the fact that Emmett and Rose had come to us first, I felt honored really. I did want them to be happy. They would do the same for Bella and I. They _had_ done the same for Bella and me. The least I could do was return the favor.

If Rose could cry, she would have, her lip trembled slightly and her golden eyes grew wide and glassy and she whispered shakily, "thank you Edward." She closed up the small space between us and threw her arms around me and I embraced my sister more tightly than I think I ever had. She pulled away from me and hugged Bella and then hurried back to Emmett and practically disappeared into his huge arms.

"Oh Em, we're going to have a baby." She whispered against him.

"I know babe, I know." He whispered back excitedly, he glanced up at me and smiled, "thanks man."

I nodded curtly with a small smile, almost on the verge of sobs myself. Bella reached over and squeezed my hand. I swallowed hard, choking back the vast array of emotions I was feeling, and smiled more widely. "So, is it going to be a boy or a girl?"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Renessmee

Jane silently glided down the dark corridor, her frame tiny and childlike against the enormous architecture of the castle. It amazed me that such a slight and underdeveloped being could be so powerful and frightening. An uneasy feeling overcame me as I continued to follow her. We went down a narrow, well lit staircase, descending into what look to be some sort of kitchen, which made no sense to me due to the fact that ancient vampiric establishments don't really require kitchens.

"Jane, where are we going?"

"How long have you been here with us now Renessmee?" She asked offhandedly, ignoring my inquiry.

"Um, just about three years." I replied obediently.

"Really? That's quite a bit of time for you humans isn't it?"

"Sometimes."

"Interesting. I can't remember any of it. Time seems to pass quickly for me. A year passes me like a day passes for you." She explained lightly as we entered the room. It was definitely a kitchen originally, stainless steel refrigerators surrounded us. It had more of a morgue like resemblance rather than that of a kitchen with a table and a few stools scattered about.

"Jane, why are you telling me all of this?" I asked, irritated. She still didn't frighten me.

"Sit," she requested congenially gesturing to an uncomfortable looking stool.

I hopped up onto it and waited for her next thought.

"Renessmee, I want to help you. I can see what is plaguing you right now. I know that you crave blood as much as the rest of us do."

"You do?" I asked, dumbfounded. I thought I hid my vice so well. Who was I kidding, they were vampires weren't they? Ancient vampires to boot, if anyone could sense what was going on, they could.

"It's not that difficult, you look like a junkie for god sake." Jane snorted.

"I do?"

"Yes. However, you do maintain yourself well. A human or a young vampire would never suspect that you wanted to tear their throat open and use it for a fountain. That boy never even saw you coming. It was quite unfair actually, what you did to that young man." She continued, glancing down casually at her perfectly manicured nails.

I cringed at her crass words, her apathy and indifference for human life. "Jane, I don't know what you think you're going to accomplish here, but," I said crossly, climbing off of my seat. Jane glanced back up at me quickly and actually looked surprised at my reaction, then I saw something else on her face, regret; she actually regretted speaking to me in such a manner. She had been this way for so long, I realized, she really didn't know any other way to be. And I suppose I couldn't fault her for that. I settled back into my chair. "I don't like to talk about it." I whispered.

"I'm sorry Renessmee, I really do want to help you. I know that you have that tendency in you, that tendency to want blood from time to time. I also know that for whatever reason, you choose not to hunt humans; I don't even think you like to hunt animals."

"I don't like to kill. I don't like death." I replied.

"I know that. I know that you usually have the wolf hunt for you in most instances. He's different from you, it doesn't seem to bother him very much. I suppose hunting is part of his culture." She added in a very PC manner. I rolled my eyes and continued to tolerate her. She sounded as if she had a point. "In any case," she carried on,"I want to respect your wishes and your life choice but at the same time, I want to be able to help you get what you want believe it or not. This is why I brought you down here." Jane gestured behind me at the immense refrigerator. "Sometimes when tourist season is at a low, we have to use prepackaged blood to keep our kills down. We count on tourism as our food source, we can't easily go after townspeople and maintain our secret very well now can we? So, in these refrigerators are hundreds of bags of donated human blood."

"Donated human blood? The Volturi has sponsors?" I asked stupidly.

Jane laughed a silvery laugh and some of her blond curls fell into her porcelin face. "Yes, I suppose we do," she chuckled, smoothing her hair back behind her ear. "Half of the blood that humans are donating each year is being purchased by us. I know that these urges you get aren't very frequent, but when they do come, they're very strong. Is that correct?"

"It's all I can think about when they come. I usually have to find something to distract myself."

"Yes, well, I want you to feel like you can give in to them every now and then without hurting your precious humans." She said, rolling her eyes. With a few smooth movements, she was at the refrigerator and back again with a bag of blood. The thick liquid glistened like a big silicone purse of rubies. I could smell it, I could practically taste it. I wanted it so badly it made my toes curl. Then, Jane made it worse by snipping a hole in the bag and pouring it into a glass that seemed to materialize out of thin air. "Go ahead," she cooed, "I assure you, no humans were harmed in the collection of this product." Her voice had become very soothing and hypnotic and her eyes were glowing with warmth and giddiness. I reached for the glass and took it and brought it to my burning lips. The liquid oozed down the inside of the glass, staining the side of it with a thick syrupy maroon color similar to Robitussin. Then, as it was just about to touch my lips, I stopped and slowly placed it down on the counter. I had never seen Jane look so surprised.

"Jane, I can't. I won't." I said quietly, folding my hands with satisfaction in front of me.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to give in to this. I don't want that taste in my mouth ever again. As much as I crave it, I crave my willpower more. I will never forget that boy, or what I have done to his family, but I will never allow myself to taste another human's blood for as long as I live, no matter how much I want to. I'm better than that, I'm stronger than that."

"I don't envy you or your cause Renessmee, but I admire your stubbornness," Jane said raising a perfect eyebrom.

"Well you're probably the only one who does." I said with an Edwardian crooked smirk.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Another year passed and I continued to fight my thirst and my longing to see, or even just to speak to my family. Jacob and I had moved to another part of the castle where we had combined our bedrooms and were basically full time roommates. I continued to go with the Volturi on all of their excursions and act as a living video camera even though I felt more like a paparazzi. Jacob was never again asked to execute a human that 'knew too much' however, they had made him a full time executioner of reckless and dangerous vampires. Jake didn't mind it at first, bearing in mind that his original sole purpose was to seek out and destroy vampires and protect humans, but even with that, I could tell it was wearing on him. We continued to try and brainstorm ways to escape the Volturi without getting ourselves killed, but as time went on, we were both beginning to believe that it would never be a possibility. I felt like I was in the mafia and it was exhausting the both of us.

Jacob clearly missed home as much as I did, if not more. He hadn't spoken to anyone from home since we ran away four years ago. The last person I had spoken to was my father when he tried to take me back to Forks and I refused and broke his heart. Jacob and I felt like we were in some macabre groundhog day that we had no idea how to free ourselves from. I wondered if this was what adults meant when they said things like, 'life is such a rat race' and so on. I was so young and yet I felt like I was fifty and longing to retire.

Each tunnel has a light at the end of it though, and for me that was Jacob. I was that light for him as well. No matter what each day brought, everything was easier with him there. Everything had more promise and beauty with him by my side. No matter what stressors our small little world brought, our love not only endured, but grew stronger and our bond ever more unbreakable. We still had hope that someday we would escape the Volturi and create an actual life for ourselves. We could create our own little rat race where I could go to college and become something and Jacob could open a garage or a welding shop. Luckily, we didn't age like most people and had time to consider this. We vowed to leave Italy someday, that we would never die in this place. We just hadn't exactly figured out how yet.

"How did Carlisle leave?" Jacob asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, didn't he used to be part of the Volturi before he came to the United States and formed the coven?" Jacob and I only referred to my family as the coven now because it was just too painful to call them family anymore. We agreed that if anyone asked we told them we had no family, mostly for our own protection and the protection of those we left behind.

"Yes, but he never talked about the time he spent here or how he left. He never really talked about what his life was like before he found Edward and Esme." I replied, my voice lowering as I spoke their names. I glanced down at my plate briefly as a wave of sadness passed over me. I couldn't get anything past Jacob, he knew me better than anyone else, he reached across the table and laid his soft hand gently atop mine.

"Hey, I miss them too. All of them. We're going to get out of here, I promise and when we do, we can go back."

"I can't go back." I whispered. "I made a huge mistake, I'm so sorry I got you into this Jacob."

"You didn't get me into anything. I said I'd follow you anywhere, and I'll never regret anything I've done or will continue to do for you. I love you Renessmee."

"Do you think you still would if I didn't have you under some freakish wolf imprinting spell?"

He chuckled lowly, "Imprinting is not witchcraft. It's nature, you haven't put me under a spell, it's just my soul; it found what it wants, what it needs. I would have found you eventually, and I would have chosen you and hoped you chose me back. Everyone finds who they are meant to be with someday. The imprinting, it just makes things clear sooner. It's like LoJack for your soul mate. Honestly, it makes things really easy, if everyone were able to do it, I guarantee there'd be a much lower divorce rate." He added with a smirk.

Everything suddenly got lighter and I started to laugh, I looked up at his deep umber colored eyes and smiled, closing my hand around his. It always seemed so tiny against his whopping mitt of a palm. "I'm so lucky that you Lojacked me. You really knew that when you saw me?"

"The second you were born and I laid eyes on you, I knew. It sounds kind of creepy when I say it like that. It probably would have been more appropriate if it happened when we were closer in age, I mean, your mo…" he paused, "Bella, Bella was so angry, she actually beat me up. And she was a newborn vampire, so, she really did a number on me."

I let out a half hearted noise that sounded like a laugh and Jacob's tone got more serious.

"Seriously Ness, it's time to go back. What are you afraid of?"

"That they hate me."

"They would never hate you, no matter what, I know them. You may be grounded for awhile, I mean, you are only twelve, and I'm probably going to get the snot kicked out of me by Edward, but, it'll be worth it. Come on, Renessmee, let's go home."

I was suddenly flooded by emotion, but one emotion stuck out the most; anger, followed by annoyance and frustration. I looked around me at the outdoor café we were seated at. I saw happy families enjoying the weather, children playing in the beautiful Italian backdrop that surrounded us, lovers enjoying romantic interludes and I remembered why I was here. I was a murderer. Murderers did not deserve any of this. I looked at Jacob, my Jacob, who would follow me to the ends of the Earth, even if it meant leaving everything that he loved and that comforted him. I did not deserve him either and that made me agitated and desperate.

I rose up from the table and glared at him, his expression changed as he realized what was happening. "I am home Jacob. If you want to go back to Forks, then go. That's where you belong. This is where I belong now."

"What are you talking about? I belong with you," he glanced around us, confused. "What the hell's come over you?" He retorted, standing up from his seat, his napkin falling from his lap onto the street.

"I just, ugh! I don't know! I have to leave now, I have to go back to the castle or something, I can't be here! I can't talk about this anymore." I stood up haphazardly, preparing for my hasty and dramatic exit.

"You can never talk about any of this, you never want to talk about home, or our family or what we've left behind, you made a mistake, you need to let it go."Jacob urged, grabbing my forearm.

"Tell that to the family…"

"Of that boy?!" Jacob interrupted. "Renessmee, you need to get over this, you can't carry this around with you anymore, that happened years ago! There's a difference between being sorry and just being a,"

"A what Jacob?" I was furious and I was having noticeable trouble keeping my voice down, people were starting to stare, the waiters were starting to slowly surround us.

"A martyr." He said coldly.

I pursed my lips so tightly that they practically disappeared. I yanked my coat off the back of the metal chair and it clanged to the ground. The owner of the restaurant stepped in at that point, right in the midst of the stare down going on between Jacob and I.

"Senora, Signore, is there a problem?" He interjected with uncertainty in his voice.

"No," I hissed in a voice I couldn't even recognize, "I was just leaving." I held my gaze with Jacob for a moment longer then turned and stormed off.

"Aren't you going the wrong way?" I heard Jacob call behind me in a snarky tone. I turned and looked at him, confused. He threw some bills down on the table, "the vatican's that way." He added pointing to the right of him. Tears burned in my eyes and I quickly turned around and continued on my way, hearing him utter "grazi" to the owner of the restaurant. The engine of his motorcycle snarled as he sped off, ironically, in the direction of the Vatican.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

_Well that was idiotic_. I thought to myself as I walked into the castle. _What is the matter with me? _I must have just looked like a stark raving lunatic in front of all those people and worst of all I had argued with the person I love most in the world over nothing at all. I had fought with Jacob because of my personal hang ups. It had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me. Jacob was perfect to me. Imprinted or not, I realized I had to get my temper under control or I would lose him. The thing is, I had no idea how that had happened. I just suddenly, couldn't control anything. Is this what puberty was like for normal humans? I had so many questions about everything and no one to answer them. I felt frustrated again and punched a wall. The wall I punched groaned under my abnormal strength and simultaneously a door at the end of the hall popped open from the vibration. "Such a freak," I muttered to myself and stormed down the hall to shut it. I had always avoided this door since Jane had showed me what was behind it. The entry way led down into the room where the Volturi kept the freezers that housed about five tons of silicone bags full of human blood, reserved for 'lean times' when tourist season was at a low. It sent a chill down my spine just to think about it. How could I bring Jake and myself into a life like this? I needed to get him out of here. Maybe Aro would bargain with me for Jake, if I stayed, maybe Jacob could go. It wasn't the first time I had thought about it, but in truth, it _was_ the first time I was trying to think of ways to actually make it a reality.

I thought about my life without Jacob and how awful it would be. He was my universe, absolutely everything to me, but he was not cut out to live like this. I heard somebody coming, I didn't want to deal with or face anyone right now, and besides, what if it was Jake? I was ashamed of my behavior. I quickly ducked into the blood room and waited for the footsteps to pass. They came and went quickly enough, but as I waited, the smell of blood perfumed the air around me. The cravings were less frequent, but when they came, they were very strong. The air around me was tinny and sweet. I wondered if they kept the temperature and the humidity at a certain concentration as a wine conossier would, the idea was interesting and horrifying all at the same time. I became curious and crept toward the towering wall of stainless to investigate. _It won't hurt if I stay here for just a little longer and check things out…_I thought to myself. I opened up one of the refrigerators and peered in, a cool mist slithered out of the monstrous appliance. Every bag was dated and labeled by type. It was like opening up a human freezer full of leftovers prepared by some obsessive compulsive housewife. It was immaculately clean and a perfect use of space. Thinking it harmless, I reached in and pulled out a bag of O positive, the universal donor. I likened O positive to the vampire world as chicken would be to the human world…everybody probably liked it. I held the freezing bag in my pale hands for a moment or two, gently squishing it back and forth as if it were a stress ball, watching the tiny air bubble scramble to either side of the bag as I rolled it and stared at it. It warmed up very quickly in my hands, soon it felt like it was at body temperature and the smell grew more pronounced and sweeter. I swallowed hard and without really deciding to, slipped it into my jacket pocket and headed out of the room up to my old bedroom. I had converted it into a study/reading room, and went there when I wanted to be alone; that was my destination now. My steps quickened as I got closer to the steps. I felt like a criminal, and then, as I turned the corner, I slammed right into Jacob.

"You're home," I exhaled, surprised.

"Renessmee, I'm sorry about what I said back there, at the café. That martyr comment was way out of line." He recanted apologetically.

"No, I'm sorry, I acted like a whacko. I don't know what came over me, I was the one out of line." I continued.

"Ness, promise me, you're not going to stay here, this lifestyle, it's not healthy, for either of us. I understand if you don't want to go home, I disagree, but I understand. I'll do what you want, but we can't stay here. Promise me, we'll find a way out." He bargained. I stared at Jacob, he gave me a weak smile even though I knew he was broken and homesick. I focused on the neckline of his t-shirt, no matter what, he always wore that one faded black t-shirt. I could tell which one it was because the neck was shabby and worn thin; and inevitably, that's what Jake had become; worn thin. Tears welled up in my throat. I would get him out of here if I had to die in the process, he would not be a Volturi.

"I promise," I whispered reassuringly with a smile. I could see the relief pass over Jacob and he stepped toward me and squeezed me in a warm, tight embrace. At least one of us would get out of here I just had to figure out how.

"What's that?" Jacob suddenly asked, looking down at my jacket pocket. The blood, I thought; I had forgotten about it.

"What's what? It's my wallet." I said nonchalantly, putting my hand in my pocket.

"No, you left your wallet at the café when you stormed off, I have your wallet. What do _you _have?" He asked, his tone sounding a bit more accusing than I think he intended.

"Oh, you do? Maybe I grabbed someone else's then…" I said shakily backpeddling. Jacob reached out and fished his hand in my pocket. "No, Jacob, I,"

"Renessmee, let me see," he argued, pulling out the glistening packet, he looked at what was in his hand and a look of horror crossed his face. "What is this?"

"It's blood." I whispered. He looked more closely at it.

"Renessmee, this is human blood, where did you get it? It doesn't matter, what are you doing with it?"

"It's nothing, I wasn't going to, I just…"

It didn't take him long to figure out what was going on. "You can't have this," he said gently, but firmly. "Please don't do this, you won't be able to stop, the cravings will get worse!"

"How do you know? How do you know they won't just, go away?"

"Because that's not how it works. Animal blood is one thing, but human, Ness, this has nothing but bad written all over it. You can't do this, please, don't do this, please, I'm begging you. I can't, I can't support this. It's going to change you and not for the better."

"How do you know? You didn't answer my question!" I argued.

"I just know. Please…put it back, or throw it away, just, don't take it, ok?" He was pleading with me now, I felt miserable and embarrassed.

"Ok, ok, I won't." I assured him, reaching for it.

"Really?" He asked, holding it away from me.

"yes," I said gently placing my hand on his and lowering his arm. "No blood. I'll get rid of it. And we'll find a way out of here, together."

"Thank you." He whispered, hugging me again.

I nodded slowly and it all became clear to me how I would get Jacob out of here, and it would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I spent the rest of the day and the evening deep in thought. Jacob was right and so were my parents those few years ago. It was time to let go of what had happened back in Forks and time to start a new chapter. This chapter I had to write on my own though. I had to do it without the safety of Jacob, I had to face my responsibilities alone. It was wrong of me to drag him out here. It was wrong of me to cause my family such stress, I knew deep down in my heart that I was no burden to them, that I really wasn't helping them by leaving. They had always managed through precarious and downright dangerous situations long before I had come around and would continue to do so long weren't mad or disappointed in me for what I did to that boy. I left out of fear, I left because I didn't want to live up to what I had done, I probably made a bigger mess leaving than I would have made if I had stayed. I was selfish and self indulgent. It was time to be a bigger person and let Jacob have the life he would never leave and even if I could convince him to do so, who could know if the Volturi would let him? My next step was to bargain with Aros and see if he was honorable enough to allow Jacob to leave, and then I had to _convince_ him to leave. I could think of only one way to do that; lying and transformation. First things first though, I had to conference with Aro and the elders, which made me more than just a bit apprehensive.

The next morning I awoke and went about business as usual. I had some breakfast, did some chores, read a little, spent some time with Jacob, had lunch, etc. As I carried on throughout the day I maintained a sense of ease that was extremely convincing; even to me. But, like a duck in the water, while my semblance was calm, my mind was racing like I was paddling to stay afloat as I tried to come up with the right words to present Aro with. I waited until after dinner, when Jacob usually left to go for his "jog". Like clockwork each night he would go running for hours. I used to think he would actually jog around the city like a normal human, until one night I found his clothes at the edge of the woods on the property. He later told me that he would take his wolf form and run around the countryside just smelling the air and relishing in the quiet. I wondered if he could still communicate with the pack and he just wasn't telling me. Something told me that he was, but I would never know for sure.

Once I knew that Jacob was gone, I prepared myself for my confrontation with the Volturi. I dug through my sparse belongings and picked out my most solemn, mature outfit. I wiggled into a pair of black skinny jeans and a black knitted shirt and pulled a longish grey sweater vest over my head. I looked very grown up until I added shoes to the ensemble; the best I could do was a tall pair of black combat boots. Fashion may be rampant in Italy, but not so much an asset at the castle of the Volturi. I smoothed my hair and pinned it up halfway, and taking a deep breath, marched down the long corridor to the main part of the house.

I exchanged niceties with the two burly guards that stood in front of the palatial doors of the dining room. I mostly got along with all the staff here. Maybe they didn't see me as a threat. Besides, I had been living here for so long. I was considered a part of the organization, I wasn't quite cozy with the elders, but I was well known enough to not be given any trouble. I likened it to having long distance relatives overstaying their welcome, in that, I was considered part of the whole, but nobody was really comfortable with it or made me feel welcome.

I entered the dining room; Aro sat at the head of the table, on either side of him was Caius, Marcus, Jane, and Alec; Felix, a square jawed brute of a bodyguard stood to the right of Aro keeping watch. It was clear by the glaring crimson of their eyes that they had just eaten. Luckily, whatever grotesque mess that was made in the process had been cleaned up by the endless rabble of servants that they had.

Aro was murmuring something to the others, when he looked up and saw me. He seemed startled by my presence, quite a feat for a teenage halfbreed.

"Why, lady Cullen, what a pleasant surprise!" he exalted, rising from his seat like a gentleman. "It is not very often that you come to this part of the castle, to what do we owe this little drop in of yours?"

I paused for a moment, a little dizzy from my shot nerves, but I quickly regained my focus. "I am sorry I didn't announce that I was coming sooner, I hope it's alright…"

"Why of course my dear," in a flash, he was by my side, pulling out a chair for me. It unnerved me when vampires moved like that. Some of them, like my father, did it by nature, but I think Aro did it to intimidate others. "I do love surprises." He cooed.

"Um, yes, thank you." I was losing my ground, my confidence was not at all convincing, time to take control. "I need to speak with you." I continued, looking Aro bravely in the eye.

"But of course my child, please, sit." He said, eagerly gesturing to the chair. As I sat down, he made way to his own chair, and waited for me to sit. If I didn't know what Aro was capable of, it could almost be believed that he was simply an eccentric, charming, older man, but because I did, it made him absolutely terrifying.

I settled myself down into the sturdy leather chair, Aro mimicking me simultaneously. The expressions on the faces of the others ranged from Felix's downright hostile glare, to Marcus's curious chagrin, to Jane's indifference, quite the crowd we had here indeed, they'd probably be a blast at a karaoke bar. I quietly sighed to myself and began to speak.

"I am concerned for Jacob Black." I said very matter of factly.

"Is that so, please do explain Miss Cullen." He encouraged, rapt with attention.

"Jacob's transition into the organization has been difficult, but I feel as if he has done it with a great deal of dignity and grace and served the Volturi to the best of his ability."

"He has indeed, it was wrong of us to have doubted him."

"But he is a wolf, my lord, he is a sworn enemy of our kind." Felix argued.

"Felix, this is a conversation between Renessmee and I, of which you will not partake. However, even though you pose a true argument, Mr. Black has proven himself to be quite useful to us and has been an honorable servant." Aro stated with the hint of a smirk.

I felt an angry thrust of heat rise in my chest at the sound of the word 'servant' being used to describe Jacob. However, I bit my tongue and decided to use Aro's crassness to my advantage. "He has," I chimed in, "but I fear that this is not the right life for Jacob and I am here to bargain for his freedom, one servant for another."

"But Miss Cullen, Jacob is here by choice, he may leave whenever he chooses."

"You and I both know that is not entirely true, my lord." I challenged with a slight arch of an eyebrow.

"How so, Miss Cullen?"

"All I am saying is that I would feel more comfortable if Jacob left knowing that someone is in his stead. Someone valuable." I added.

"Jacob is very valuable Miss Cullen, there has never been an alliance between the species, well, not since your family began one back in Washington. There wouldn't have been one if not for your mother or for you. Apparently, all you need is love to get things done!" Aro giggled maniacally.

I was unmoved, "I am well aware of my family history, which is why I would like to bargain for Jacob's freedom with my own allegiance, to the Volturi."

There were muffled chuckles from all corners of the room and I felt like my plan was about to go south. "Oh Miss Cullen, how you do remind me of your father, it warms my heart to see family traditions carry on even when you are miles away. You see, Renessmee, I already have your allegiance. You've lived under our roof for several years now, doing our work, protecting our cause. Why would I bargain for something that I already have?"

"But you don't have me."

"Are you saying that you are a fake? That you are a spy? That would be very disheartening." Aro warned, his face grave.

"No, I am neither of those things." I replied coolly, glancing down casually at my nails. "True, I have been here for many years, working, protecting, following. I have done all that you have asked me to do with a clear conscience and complete honesty. This is truly who I am, no tricks. However, it has only been a halfhearted effort. My efforts have been divided between the Volturi and Jacob. I love him, you know this, but we have grown apart considerably. If he were able to leave, I could concentrate on forgetting him and focusing on my work."

"Are you simply saying, that with him gone you can be a better employee?" Aro asked, putting things into lay terms sarcasm lilting in his voice.

I thought about that for a moment, yes, I guess that's what it sounded like, and Aro was starting to lose interest and the others were starting to lose patience. Then, I had another thought. "I also have something else to offer."

"Go on," Aro pressed, regaining interest.

"The reason I came here, was because in Forks I killed a boy for his blood. Everyone in this room knows that in one way or another. Since then, I have been fighting a constant urge to repeat this behavior over and over again."

"In other words, you have urges that you are not catering to?"

"Yes, Jane knows, she's seen them. She's seen me when I am being affected by them. She even offered to help. She said she could help me find a way to satisfy myself without actually taking a human life. I refused."

"Is this true Jane?" Aro asked glancing over at his tiny witch. Jane looked a little intimidated by him and a little ticked off at me for throwing her under the bus.

"Yes, my lord, it is. Even though you can tell that her urges are deeply affecting her, she still refused."

Aro seemed a little confused by the whole thing, speechless in fact.

"Think of what I could become with human blood in me. Think of the enhancement of my powers, my strength. I am a hybrid of two gifted vampires, I have had powers since my birth, and even without blood, they are noteworthy powers, you said so yourself." I wheedled feverishly, "I choose not to indulge my nature because I do not want to upset Jacob. I have always wanted to unlock my potential, but didn't feel like it was the right thing to do. If I am here alone, I can do that without upsetting the people I care about, if you just let me try. It is a known fact that the strongest vampires are newborns because they still have human tissues remaining that combine with their supernatural tissues. I have both tissues as long as I'm alive. The most logical assumption would be that human blood will be the antidote that unlocks that strength." I had to stop and let this marinate with Aro for a moment. I also had to stop because I was beginning to believe what I was saying. I had been powerless for so long it seemed, a slave to this life and to this craving. It was almost invigorating to think I could gain back some of my power by doing this.

"You pose an excellent point Renessmee." Aro pondered. "What you say, makes a great deal of sense and may prove to be quite true."

"Not only will my mind powers fully bloom, but my strength may do the same, I could be your executioner and your recorder…" I stated darkly, "let Jacob go, please, and I will do your bidding."

"Jacob is not a fearful man, he is bold and stubborn, if he wanted to leave, he would have found a way to do so by now. He stays for you Renessmee," Aro explained, saying the last part a little more gently than I would have liked. It made my chest hurt. "How are you so sure that he will leave if you stay?"

"Leave Jacob to me, just promise me, that if I can convince him to go, you will allow him to live a long, happy, peaceful life unharmed."

"I give you my word." Aro said easily.

"Good, but if you'll pardon my bluntness, your word is not good enough. Which brings me to my final condition; If any harm befalls Jacob, by your hand, or by any of your staff," I said crossly, looking at Felix. "Then I will kill myself and you will be left with nothing. Now, do we have a deal?"

Aro clapped his hands together, and laughed in exultation, "oh, that is wonderful. I feel like I am in the presence of an old friend of mine. Giving up your life for the one you love, literally and figuratively. I will never understand you Cullens and your self-martyring ways! But very well, you strike a hard bargain. Renessmee, your beloved Jacob is safe from the hand of the Volturi, as long as he follows the rules of his pack of course."

"Of course my lord. Then we have a deal?" I asked, rising from the table and putting out my hand to shake. Aro appeared by my side. He took my palm and gently held it, trying to read whether or not I was lying. I wasn't.

"We have a deal, Jacob may leave and he will never be bothered by us. You, however, may stay." I nodded my head at him and stared into his grusome ruby eyes. "That is a promise, as long as you hold up your end, Renessmee."

"Goodnight Aro." He slowly unfurled his cold fingers from my hand and watched me as I walked away. "Good evening everybody, thank you for your time." I called as I strode out of the room. I could feel their eyes boring through me; the eyes of my new family.

As I crossed the threshold into the hallway Aro called back to me almost musically, "oh and Renessmee, if you don't deliver, I'll kill you myself. Have a good night my dear."

I paused mid stride and nodded, " you have nothing to worry about." Aro gave me a little wave and with that, the dining room door slowly swung shut. I continued down the hallway and just before I reached the bedroom Jacob and I shared, tears welled up in my eyes.

I had just made a pact with the Devil to save Jacob's soul.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

I was tired, and afraid. I hurried away from the dining room, eager to escape the sound of Aro's wispy voice and his harsh face. I reached the great staircase that led up to the room Jacob and I shared, soon, I would be the only one who resided in it. Soon, I would sleep alone at night, instead of beside him. I felt a sob catch in my throat, but stubbornly swallowed it down. _You'll be ok, Jacob will be safe and you will carry on. You are going to be fine. _I firmly consoled myself. I stared up at the staircase and my quick pace turned into a trudge as I climbed it reluctantly. I loped down the hall and into the bathroom miserably and put my pajama sweatshirt on and brushed my teeth.

When I entered our bedroom, Jacob was sound asleep. I could hear the comforting sound of him sighing deeply as he slept and it made me feel warm all over. He lay on his back with the covers folded across his bare chest, as if someone had posed him perfectly for a movie scene or something. The moonlight shone down on his peaceful, umber face. As masculine as Jacob was, his face appeared downright boyish while he slept. He didn't know, but I would watch him when I myself couldn't sleep. God he was beautiful, in so many ways. No matter how long or short our time was together, I was thankful I had it. I moved a little further into the room so that I was standing beside the bed. I sat down as slowly as I could, so as not to interrupt Jacob's sleep. Gently I placed my hand on his face and let my fingers trickle through his raven colored hair. I smiled, gazing down at him and slowly, his eyes opened.

"Jake," I whispered.

"Hi." He replied hoarsely with a tiny smile.

"Hi." I whispered back, my voice cracking slightly.

He let out a tired chuckle and turned his face to kiss my wrist and my palm.

"I love you."

"I love you too Ness." He said dreamily, looking up at me.

I smiled and quickly looked away, feeling a little overwhelmed suddenly.

"Ness, you ok?" he croaked like someone who had been sleeping for a few hours.

I nodded, still unable to look at him. Instead I found a spot on the wall that was less heartbreaking to me. Without warning, Jacob wound his massive hand around my waist and pulled me down next to him on the bed. I turned to him and buried my nose in his neck, letting his cedar smell fill my nostrils and lungs. I wanted to wrap myself in his scent and wear it like a fleece blanket. He rested his chin atop my nose and kissed my forehead. "My girl." He cooed.

"Always." I muttered against his hot skin. The room was cold and I was only wearing shorts and a long sleeved shirt. I pressed my legs against Jacobs and was instantly warmed up. It felt so good that I proceeded to rub my legs together against his.

"What's the matter? You cold?" he asked

"A little." I replied.

"Well we can't have that." He teased, pulling me closer to him and rubbing my shoulders vigorously. I couldn't help but giggle. "Better?" he asked, touching his nose to mine.

I pulled back from him only slightly, just so I could look at his face, he beamed with a smile that was only meant for me. "You are so beautiful." He breathed in a voice so small, I almost couldn't hear him. Jacob placed his hand against my face, his touch light and ghostly. I felt goose bumps scuttle down the nape of my neck and instantly wanted more. I placed my hand over his and slowly turned my face toward it and kissed the heel of it. I felt all of the tendons in Jacob's arm tense and his breathing speed up as I dragged my lip a little ways down his wrist. I pressed my lips against his, and waves of goose bumps cascaded down my spine. What had come over me? I was never this forward when it came to anything! I hadn't even realized that I was on the very edge of the bed until Jacob sat up and pulled me further into it. His pretty eyes shone hypnotically in the moonlight. He gently took both of my wrists in each of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling me close against his bare, warm, chest. The neckline of my shirt slumped down my arm a little and Jacob carefully traced my clavicle in lazy, swooping lines with his finger. He bowed his head and kissed my shoulder, his hair brushing against my neck, making me dizzy with pleasure. I could feel my heartbeat speed up and my chest rise and fall deeply. He pulled my hair back and mouthed my neck and shoulder. I felt like I was going to explode or scream out some kind of obscenity. I rethought that and tried a more subtle approach running my fingers down the center his back. He seemed to like that and brushed his lips across my earlobe. I kissed him deeply, sliding my tongue across the roof of his mouth. He bit my lip firmly and I let my fingers knot in his messy hair. He pulled me roughly against him, his hands like hot lava rocks as he snaked them up the back of my shirt.

I reared up and Jacob backed up onto his knees. He must have thought I had reached my limit; I hadn't.

"Ness, I" he gasped looking at me apologetically.

I said nothing, but instead moved closer to him. He sat on his hands, almost as if I had frightened him. Neither one of us really knew what we were doing after all. After an awkward moment or two, I placed my hand over his heart and kissed him. Then, with an intensity that I had never seen in Jacob before, he pulled me as far into his lap as I could go. I responded with an intensity that I had never seen in myself before, and wrapped my legs around him, crushing him with my thighs. His entire torso tensed up, his muscles throbbed against my groin. I pressed my lips against him fiercely and felt like I would pull his hair out in clumps. He groaned quietly and lifted my shirt off of me. I murmured something as he ran his mouth wetly across my neck and buried his face in my chest. Warmth emanated throughout my entire body, not like the normal warmth thrown off by Jacob, but my own warmth that my body was producing in response to Jacob's tongue on my skin. I felt beads of sweat trickle down my lower back into my shorts. My hips rocked against him, my legs were still clamped around him in a death grip. He scooped his hands under my thighs and scraped his fingers along the back of them. I loosened my leg grip and crawled off him. My shoulders trembled slightly, half with excitement, half with nervousness as I slipped my shorts off shakily. Jacob was behind me in an instant, holding me. Maybe he thought things would be less nerve wracking if we weren't looking directly at each other. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I felt him shake a little as well. I reached behind his head, turned my face and kissed him passionately. His hand moved up my thigh until it could go no higher, and I began to pant. I clumsily grabbed for the waistband of his pants. Within moments, there wasn't a fraction of space between us. Jacob moved against me slowly, carefully, as if I were made of glass. There was complete silence between the two of us, neither one of us dared to breathe. He dug his hands against the front of my hips and I laced my fingers with his as he moved against me again. I shivered, and then, we were breathing again, the fear was gone and it was just the two of us in this moment together. Every young couple waits for this moment, never really knowing when it is going to happen, or what to anticipate. Time seemed to stand still and nothing else mattered. I exhaled deeply, Jacob's breathing quickened. I was able to loosen my grip on his hands and focus on kissing him again. My mouth moved hungrily against his as he cupped my breasts. Jacob let out a low growl as I arched my spine against him, and kneaded my hands into his back. He had one hand between my legs now and something was happening, everything went black, then starry and the warmth I had felt earlier was multiplied by millions. It shot from the top of my head to my toes, all of my muscles tensed, then relaxed, then tensed again, I felt like I was being electrocuted. It was almost too much for me to handle, I whimpered, not knowing how to respond to this new feeling. Was I the only one feeling this? Was something wrong? Could Jacob feel it too? I had no idea. Jacob buried his face in my neck and reached for my hand, squeezing it hard, like he too, was overwhelmed. He cried out, the electricity ebbed a bit and I was flooded with a feeling of relaxation that I had never felt before. It was absolutely blissful. I exhaled harshly, because I had been holding my breath again and pressed my cheek against Jacobs' flushed face, tears welling up in my eyes.

"I love you Renessmee." He whispered in a raspy voice.

"I love you Jacob, so very, very much." I replied, my tone sadder than I expected.

"I know that you feel lost, that you don't know what to do." He whispered, "But you need to know that no matter what happens, I will always be here to pull you back, just like you always pull me back. You keep me grounded and connected and I will always do the same for you. Always."

"I know," I whispered back, "I don't know what I'll ever do without you."

He touched his lips to my cheek tenderly, and I gripped his hand more tightly, like I was about to lose him.

I don't know when, but at some point we both fell asleep. I lazily opened my eyes, thinking it was morning, but it was far from it. It was dark as dark could be in our bedroom, what had been a light tapping of rain earlier had turned into a torrential downpour outside. I looked at the clock, it was nearly three in the morning. I glanced at Jacob, sleeping soundlessly beside me and ached to nudge him awake and hold him. I wanted to hear his husky, gentle voice, hear him say my name, but I couldn't. I had something else I had to do, that would change our lives forever. I rose from the bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind me. I turned on a dim light and stared at myself in the mirror. My brown eyes stared fearfully back at me. My cheeks were soft and flushed. I could see my mother and my father's face looking back at me. I was their miracle child. They took an impossible situation and created something unexpected and beautiful, I was a representation of their love; the purest and most honest love incarnate. They had overcome so much to bring me into this world. Had I simply given up? Had I been playing a victim and a coward all these years? Was I now making myself into a martyr? I didn't think so, I was just doing what I thought was right for Jacob I wanted everything for him and I felt like he could get nothing from staying here with me.

"Goodbye Renessmee." I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. I opened the medicine cabinet door and pulled out a gleaming silicone bag. I didn't want to do it, I wanted to pour it down the sink and run out of that castle as fast as my legs would let me but it was time to stop running and time to start facing my responsibilities. I ripped the tip off the bag, and pounded it. It was thick and slimy and coated my teeth like a mouthful of mud, I gagged as it stuck in my throat. I felt like I was swallowing a hundred milliliters of Robitussin. It felt like a sinister stain spreading. I grabbed a second bag and downed it as quickly as I could, and then another, and then another, and then one more. I shut the medicine cabinet and saw my face. It was a macabre mask of unfamiliarity and terror. My teeth were sticky with the dark liquid, my lips shone back at me like frightening rubies and a thin sliver of red had dripped down my chin from the corner of my mouth. I saw myself and screamed in anger and horror. I backed up against the tub and slid down to the floor and wept. I pulled my legs into my chest and rubbed one foot on top of the other and held myself tightly. I looked like a mental patient being plagued by demons that I couldn't shake. My body didn't know what to do with what it had just consumed, my stomach churned a little, I readied myself to vomit, coming up onto my knees and hunching over, but nothing happened. In fact, suddenly my stomach settled and my thoughts dissipated, I felt like I had been sedated or numbed. I won't say that it felt good, but I felt a little better. The feelings were still there, the frustration, the fear, the anxiety, but they were more subdued.

I slowly pulled myself to my feet and stumbled back toward the mirror over the sink. I smoothed my hair and wiped my chin and eyes on my sleeve. I gazed into the mirror and saw my past. I saw my family, my mother smiling at me, Rosalie cradling me in her arms, my father teaching me how to play piano. I saw Carlisle and Esme and Charlie and Sue. I felt my parents embracing me, I heard their voices, I heard my laugh, and I smelled them. I saw Jacob; Jacob when I was small, Jacob when I was growing up, Jacob telling me he loved me, our first kiss, his smile. All the people I cared about, all the happiness they had given me, I saw it all in my head. But, in the mirror, all I saw was the last bit of brown draining out of my eyes and the red seeping in like a stain that would recolor them for the rest of my life. The rain thudded symbolically against the window pane as I whispered sadly for the last time, "goodbye Renessmee."


End file.
